Q - Luther Blissett (interesting novels to read TXT) š
- Author: Luther Blissett
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By now Jan, too, has reached the end. The nod to Israel gets him even more excited. He raises his arms to the sky and canāt hold himself back: āAnd ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests and a holy nationā
He holds the last world like a long lament, as he slowly subsides on to the bed.
If I know him well, thatās the last weāll hear of him.
A few minutes later heās back in the saddle. So I donāt know him that well.
āLadies, gentlemen, friends, por favor.ā Naked, arms spread, kneeling on the bed. āSome instructions first of all, or requests if you prefer: you, friend Berndt, do you want me to die of thirst, you stingy fucking shopkeeper, is that it? Because then the heavens will punish youā¦.ā
āYes, yes, yes, fuck, Iām going, Iām going right now, but, but youāre worrying me, you drink like a fish, I hadnāt noticed.ā Knipperdollingās paunch staggers towards the next room.
āWell look at this, bravo, bravooo!ā he applauds noisily. āAnd you, my friend, my devoted holy whore, go on playing with the font between my legs, while the Holy Pimp tells you the story of his noble origins. Yes, my dear, yes.ā
Knipperdolling comes back in with three bottles of schnaps and an idiotic smile on his face, which fades when he notices that his lady has her face buried halfway up Janās arse.
āFine, Iām ready, or rather Iām not. Gert! Gert, is there someone there? Are you sure that the young lady hasnāt dissolved you completely? Sheās been sucking away on you for an hour now, youāre going to suffocate the poor girl!ā
āShit yourself!ā is my reply.
āAh no, my friend, that wouldnāt be right, even for the good of Madam Kiss-my-arse down there. But thatās enough, now. A little attention, por favor!ā
Knipperdolling isnāt very convinced, he tries clumsily to interpose himself in the midst of the writhing flesh and regain his position.ā
āMy mother was a German immigrant, unmarried she was. Got shagged in a ditch by old Schulze Bockel, a great womaniser in the Hague, and she brought me into the world with the name of Johann, or, in Dutch, Jan. At the age of sixteen I set off on a merchant ship: Englandā¦ Flanders, Portugalā¦ Lļæ½beckā¦ then the captain started coming on to me. One night during a storm I split his head open with an oar and threw him overboard. Two days later I disembarked in Leyden and slipped into his wifeās bed. I consoled the widow for a couple of years, living in her house, going through a fair amount of her savings. The lady found me work as a tailor: she said I was cut out for the trade, I donāt know what made her think that, I didnāt want to do a stroke. She was a great big whore, that one: sheād swapped a fat drunkard of a husband for a wonderful twenty-year-old. But my true vocation was different, I didnāt want to break my back working my whole life, I was called to do something better, something higher and more spiritual, to be an actor, write verses, I had to dump the old bagā¦ live my lifeā¦ yes. Where was I, oh yes, when I duped the widow and opened my innā¦ a real luxury whorehouse, good money and not many troublesā¦ I cheered up the customers by declaiming my verses, before the girls took care of them. Once I even recited in a church, passages from the Old Testament from memory, not at all bad. The Chamber of Rhetoricians made me an honorary member. You know, they were assiduous visitors to my brothel, and I gave them exceptional discounts, special rates. I was closer to God among my whores than all those literati with a bad smell under their noses, the ones who came for a good servicing.
āOne day two pilgrims came, sent to me by God. One was Jan Matthys, and the other one was that guy that Ingeās busy massacring on the carpet. Gert, are you still alive? And they say to me, āJan of Leyden, the Lord hath need of thee, drop everything and follow usā.ā
āAnd you didā¦ā
āOf course, because I felt it was the right thing to do, my destiny, fuckās sake, God spoke to me and said, āJan, bastardwomantupper, Iāve shat you on to the earth for a reason, not so that you can roll about in the mud and the humours for the whole of your life! Arise and follow these men, thereās a job to be doneā. And here we are receiving your welcoming committee. And our gratitude, friend Berndt, will follow you to heaven, where you will receive what you deserve!ā
Knipperdolling sniggers with his hands on his balls. āYou are a cunt, Bockelson, but listen, that stuff you were saying about the indigenous people over there, listen, itās bollocks.ā
āAs long as your arm, Berndt, as long as your arm.ā
Knipperdolling grows gloomy. Jan takes a drag from the bottle and sprawls out on the bed. He starts blethering: āWho am I? Guess, who am I?ā
Silence.
āGo on, go on, itās easy.ā He picks up a corner of the blanket with two fingers and slowly begins to cover himself: āWho am I?ā
āDead drunk.ā
He pulls himself up, very serious, wrapped in the blanket. āāCursed be Canaan; a slave of slaves shall he be to his brothers!āā A shout towards Knipperdolling: āWho am I?ā
The head of the guilds looks at me, perturbed and visibly frightened.
Iām about to reassure him when Inge raises her head, turns towards Jan and says: āNoah.ā
Mļæ½nster, 28th January 1534
Mļæ½nster has a fascination all of its own, narrow alleyways, dark houses, the Market Square with the church of St Lamberti rising at its edge: the architecture and the arrangement of the buildings, everything seems casual, chaotic, and yet as the days pass you realise that thereās a hidden order in the labyrinth of streets. I have spent my free time getting to know the city by wandering aimlessly for hours, losing myself in the maze and then getting my bearings back, always at different spots in the city. I discover half-secret passages, I chatter with the tradesmen, the people here are open with strangers, perhaps because Anabaptism came here on the feet of wandering Dutch prophets. I have met one of them, Heinrich Rol, who has been assigned a parish inside the walls. We spent a long time talking about Holland, he told me the names of brethren from there, I didnāt recognise any of them. They say that Mļæ½nster has fifteen thousand inhabitants, but on market days it must be more than that. The burghers here are the kind that travel, textile factories, loads of workers. Getting rid of the bishop allowed them to abolish taxes on textiles and compete with the products of the monasteries: the friars have a tough time, the merchants get fat. Iāve learned how to harness the strength that comes out of places, those walls exude excitement, discontent, life: itās a major crossroads, between Northern Germany and the Lower Rhine, but thereās a vital energy that comes from the city itself, from the conflict that is being born among the dirt and the cartwheels.
Mļæ½nster is one of those places that gives you the sense that something is bound to happen sooner or later.
*
Iām dashing through the mud of the street, already enveloped in darkness, paying no heed to the dirt splashing my trousers, Iām flying fast, on the tips of my boots, all the way home. It was Knipperdolling who sent us to get everyone, they found me in the inn, lingering over a theological dispute between two blacksmiths. Quick, quick, big trouble, the boy who tracked me down told me to run to the house of the leader of the guilds, and to wear the pin on my coat, a little piece of copper showing the acrostic of our motto: DWWF, The Word Made Flesh, without which I wouldnāt get in.
Three knocks on the door, and after a moment a voice asks, āWho are you?ā
āGert from the Well.ā
āWhatās the password?ā
I show the brooch: āThe Word made flesh.ā
Bolts running back: Rothmann nods to me to come in, a rapid glance at my shoulders before closing the door again.
āItās a stroke of luck that we found you. Thereās a nasty wind blowing.ā
āWhatās happening?ā
āHavenāt you heard?ā
I shrug my shoulders in apology.
Worry is clearly apparent in his face. āThe bishop, that son of a bitch, has issued an edict: heās taken away all our civil rights, from us and anyone who supports us. He threatens repercussions on the townspeople if they continue to cover for us.ā
āShit.ā
āVon Waldeck is preparing something, I know him, he wants to divide us, he hopes he can win the Lutherans over to his side and leave us isolated. Come on, weāve called this meeting to decide how to react. We need everyoneās opinion.ā
The dining room is already crowded, about twenty people are crowding around the circular table, the noise is like the sound of the market from a distance. Knipperdolling and Kibbenbrock are whispering among themselves, the purple faces of the two representatives of the weaversā guilds speak for themselves.
When they see me, they gesture to me to sit down next to them. I push my way through, Bockelson is already there, a grave nod of greeting: āYouāve heard about the edict?ā
āRothmann told me, I didnāt know anything about it, Iāve been farting around all day.ā
Rothmann calls for silence with broad gestures, the other brethren hush one another.
āBrethren, this is a serious time, thereās no point hiding it, von Waldeckās offensive is aimed at isolating us in the city, putting us outside the law so that we can be persecuted, possibly with the connivance of the Lutherans. Tonight weāve got to decide how to defend ourselves, now that the bishop has shown his cards and is giving battle, and we face great danger.ā
A knock at the door, startled faces, someone runs to see, the password echoes through to us, more than one, there are a few of them.
About a dozen workmen, hammers and hatchets in their hands, at their head a tiny, thin, dark man, a huge pistol in his belt, the face of a right bastard, rapid movements. Itās Redeker, highwayman by trade, who joined the Baptists to relieve the rich of their purses, and then converted to the common cause. Rothmann himself baptised him a few days ago, after he had given proof of his affability by donating to the Baptist fund the proceeds of his most lucrative plunder: five hundred gold florins taken from the bishopās knight, von Bļæ½ren, a memorable enterprise.
Rothmann rages at everyone with his expression. āWhat does it mean?ā
āThat people donāt want to sit twiddling their thumbs while the noose is being tightened around their necks.
āIt isnāt a good reason for coming armed into Knipperdollingās house, brother Redeker. We mustnāt give our enemies a pretext for attacking us.ā
āItās going to happen anyway, what do you think?ā The little man is black with rage. āStrike at the right time, thatās what weāve got to do, and soon. The Lutherans are ready to kiss von Waldeckās arse and sell the lot of us! Theyāve seen weapons being transported on the other bank of the canal, to ļæ½berwasser monastery: theyāre preparing to attack us.
āRedekerās right, fuck it. We canāt wait until they come through that door to slit our throats!ā The echo comes from everyone whoās been listening, a chorus of incitements. āThatās right! Letās give it to them right now,
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