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A long time ago I saw the daylight. Everything was so new and exciting for me.
Thousand of tastes swirling around me. Bright lights blinded my eyes. Often there was a mess of different voices which where strange and often frighten. When it come over me, I always searched for the warm and fluffy coat of my mother.
So, many times I wished that the humans loved me and that it might be forever.
But I grew up into a handsome dog and learnt to know the bad sides of my dog life. And so it happened that I came as a quite young dog in a home for animals.
This was filled with young, old, healthy and sick animals but finally there were louder stray dogs.
Each of us had a little outfall and friendly people who looked after us, but we still lacked something like love.
Always people came, often children. They walked past the cages and took one or two of us away. How many times I wished that the door would be open and finally someone would point at me.
But whenever someone walked past my cage, I could hear that someone say, that I would be a difficult case and they should choose you prefer a quiet family dog.
My heart was terribly hard on those days and I had almost given up hope, when they opened the door.
One day a young woman with red hair and blue eyes smiled at me lovely. Again I heard someone telling, that I was still quite, wild and not very obedient. But the young woman said: only this dog, he stole my heart. I couldn’t believe my luck when she took the leash! I was finally able to get out of here.
From now a new life started for me!
Thousands of new hands stroke me; they gave me food and a place to sleep.
Everything was new for me, everything was so strange but I felt save from the first second in my new home.
This connection was followed by long walks to places that were so beautiful that my heart beat often somersaults. I crossed with excitement and a frantic pace the meadows and forests and sniff everything that was still different and unknown.
I enjoyed every minute and every second that I get to experience.
I was the best friend from my lordling and I was a faithful fellow.
I have seen the mountains they were so high that you could see the half of the world from there. There were meadows and forests, bursting with life and the lakes were so blue and clear that I could reflect me there. Never in my life, I will forget this moments and feelings. In the evening I slept beside my lordling on the couch, where she always caresses my head softly.
Later, a young man came into our family; he spent me much of his time.
The years went by. So I went onto the mountains and in summer I swam in lakes, it took so long, that I was really shaking, when we went home.
Sometimes I was sick and my family had to bring me to the doctor and took care of me until I was really healthy again.
If I were able to speak, I would tell them how grateful I was, for all that they have done for me.
So I could show it only when I’m fond cuddled and licked my lordling hands, when I realized that she was not feeling well, or she was in pain.
But I think they understood me and knew that this was my way of gratitude.
Time passed and I grew older, until finally it was Christmas. I was sick, my lungs no longer functioned properly and even then I knew that my time had come.
But although my lordling had fought, I knew my time was come and I knew that I
couldn't leave her alone.
Always I was weak, had barely the strength to stay on my feet, but I couldn't die. That would be too painful for her.
I couldn't, and so I had to wait until my two lordlings went out to work. I wanted to spare them the pain and sorrow.
I enjoyed the last days of my life to the fullest. I put me in the warm summer sun, and held for the last time my nose into the wind. I tasted all the wonderful scents of the world.
Oh, beautiful world, but how much it hurts to walk.
My last day came and I felt so happy that my family was so nice to me, that I could cry.
It was sunny and the light wind was so delightful on my skin.
My breathing was heavy - I knew it was time.
When I could read my own thoughts, all of my images shot in seconds through my mind, all the memories of this beautiful life, how it makes so hard that I can't go out of this life. The doors opened for me between two worlds, a new life and my pain and so I set all this an end. And yet it is such so hard to go this step. All the things I remember and that I couldn't stay here filled me with infinite sadness.
I wouldn‘t let my family alone, not so early.
But I didn’t have the power to make that decision.
I had fought long enough, I was tired.
It was the only way and I knew I had to follow it.
As I ran to the other side of the creek, there was my thought on my family and now everywhere I think about them and they are forever with me.
I ran and ran, and with each step I felt my legs were weak and my heart beat more slowly.
My breathing slowed, and a pleasant feeling went through my body.
So it was, when my life came to the end.
I heard a car coming, heard my lordlings.
I saw my lifeless body lay there in the grass. I saw her tears, and felt her pain.
How gladly I would lick her in the coming weeks once the comfort of her hands. But I could take just her pain and give her love with in her life.
But I was with her, as she has buried me. She ran to the creek to let her grief run wild.
I was always there, looked like she was crying, I saw how much she missed me.
I know how great the pain of losing someone is. So, two souls who have searched in the darkness of life, to bring a light that shone upon us both.
And souls don't die.
We will find ourselves at some point of our end of life. She will see in my eyes, because there is the light that shone upon us, it was many years ago, but it is always be there forever.

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Publication Date: 04-26-2012

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