How To Be Merry - B. Merry (ebook reader online txt) 📗

me one lesson. She has always told me to be nice to everybody, no matter what! Here is a story of what happens when you take this philosophy to heart:

During my freshman year of high school, there were two mean guys that I shared a few classes with. But I noticed that they were particularly mean to me. I would say hello and they would tell me that they hate me. It was an odd case because I had never met someone that could be so mean while I was just trying to be friends with them and get to know some people during my time in high school. I asked my mother what she thought I should do and her simple answer was to keep being nice to them. At the time I trusted my mom’s judgment but at the same time I was getting a little bit skeptical. Maybe these young men are just mean spirited and there was no way around it. I had tried being nice to them and after months of being ridiculed and made fun of, it still had no affect. But, like I said, I trusted my mother, so I kept at it. I would greet these two kids very cheerfully every time I saw them. The affect it had was incredible. One day I walked in to my science class and one of the young men looked at me and said, “Hello Brian!” and not in any sarcastic tone or anything. I was a little surprised so I greeted him back and asked how his day was going. He responded with a very nice response, and then sat down in his seat. Then the other mean kid walked into the room and greeted me with the same, “Hello Brian!” and sat down next to his friend. What was going on? Was the apocalypse among us? These kids who I didn’t believe had a mild mannered bone in their bodies turned into nice guys. They only got nicer, as the next day they both walked into class together and sat down at my table and struck up a nice conversation and we shared a laugh. And that’s the end of the story.

My theory for why there was such a drastic change in these two boys attitudes towards me was because I think they realized that I was being nothing but nice to them. I just wanted to be friends, and they looked at themselves and saw that they were just being very mean to me for absolutely no reason at all, and I’m sure they even talked about it with each other like, “Hey maybe we shouldn’t be so mean to Brian. He never says anything mean to us.”

Before meeting them I didn’t even know that these two kids existed, because we didn’t go to the same middle school. I am not sure what they were judging me by, but by the end of the school year I had killed (figuratively) the bully inside of those two, using the powerful weapon of kindness.

If I had tried to be mean to them back it would not have ended so well. I probably would have become even better friends with them because at least we would’ve had our mean spirits in common. But that would have been a very mentally weak thing for me to do. I would have allowed their mean spirited will to be imposed on me and that would have changed this whole situation. I might not be writing this book today if that had happened. My basketball coach always said that to be successful we needed to impose our will on opposing teams so they had no choice but to give up. I definitely imposed my will on these two young men and it turned out great for me and even better for them. Never give anyone a reason to hate you or be mean to you. Only then will you “kill ‘em with kindness.”
"Oh I'm Stressed!"--Jerry Seinfeld

Stress is a difficult concept to really wrap ones brain around. I think people get stressed out way to easily and for no reason. Everyone gets stressed out! Some people deal with stress better than others, but I’m just going to let you in on some of the things I do to decrease my stress level as quickly as possible.

Let’s be honest: school is stressful, with all of the quizzes, the studying, and the homework, dealing with your teachers, dealing with your classmates. It’s hard! So what do I do to reduce this stress? I just take a step back and put things in perspective. I may have a lot of homework I have to finish but in reality it isn’t that much because I have done this much homework before! I just have a little less time to complete it all. No big deal!

I like to prioritize and plan out how much time I need to spend on each subject of homework I have. I might spend an hour on math and 30 minutes on language arts and an hour on another subject and 20 minutes on another. Once you plan all of it out then you realize, “Oh! If I get started right away I’ll be done by 10:30! That’s not so bad,” and the stress will sort of melt away.

If you are stressed about something that doesn’t involve school then my only tip is just to relax. Take a nap and just stop thinking about what is stressing you out for a little bit! It is most likely that whatever you are worrying about will be over soon and you probably won’t remember it years from now. I can think of a specific example of something that I was VERY stressed out about. My cousin asked me to go to prom with her. The thing you have to understand about my cousin is that when she was a little younger she began to have seizures and the doctors noticed that she had other psychological issues as well. She became manic-depressive and was on anti-anxiety medication. I was a little stressed out about going to the prom, not because I was going with my cousin but just because I didn’t know a lot of people in her class. Who would I talk to? Who would I dance with? So the night came and went and it turned out fine. I found a group of kids in my grade that ended up being there and it was fun! My cousin danced the entire time so she had tons of fun! And the stress was over. The stress only lasted a short time and it was a great experience in the end.

If you are stressed because you are overworked then I suggest, again, relaxing for a couple days. All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy! After a few days of rest you will feel ready to get back to work and you’ll realize that the stress was not that big of a deal.
These are a few things I use to reduce my stress and if you choose to use these I hope they work well for you.

"Order In The Court! Judge 'Everyone' Presiding!"

Why do we have inhibitions? Why do we think about what we do, before we do them? What, sometimes, keeps us awake at night? What causes low self-esteem and lack of confidence? There is only one right answer that fits all of these questions and the answer is… Because we worry about what others think of us, or that we are being JUDGED. Before you wear that certain shirt or that pair of shoes you think to yourself, “What is everyone going to think of me? Are these shoes cool enough? Do they attract too much attention? Are they too popular for me to wear? I want to be an individual and not just a face in the crowd. What do I do?” And don’t say you have never done this, regardless of if it’s with clothing or actions or virtually ANYTHING, you have worried about being judged. Regardless of if we like it or not people are passing judgment on us with every step we take, every breath we breathe.

The affect of this judgment can be extremely harmful. Young adults, just entering the real world have even taken their own lives because they have felt judged to the point where they do not want to live anymore. But to an almost equal degree everybody loses their sense of self the minute they feel the least bit judged. The greatest affect of this is a lack of what everyone deserves to have and that is confidence. Confidence is what allows us to tell that joke without worrying, “what if they don’t laugh?” And confidence is really what makes us unique. It gives us the power to know that we can be ourselves. All too often people act against the way their mind tells them to act simply because judge them. THIS IS DISGRACEFUL!

I have a few tips for overcoming your inhibitions due to feeling judged. My first tip is a simple concept and when put into use can be very affective. In fact, many stand up comedians use this technique whenever they go out on stage! Its called the Don’t Give A Rip Method (because this book is for ALL ages ;). Simply stop caring about what other people think of you and just be yourself! Wear what you want! Speak your mind! It’s easy to do but most people just never seem to get it. I suggest this method of practice: when you find yourself approaching a group of friends or acquaintances that you feel may judge you at times, remind yourself of the D.G.A.R. Method and release all of