Final Decision Next Week - Rhymeon (books to read this summer .txt) 📗

I was afraid of putting fuel into the car incase I used too much money.
I was afraid of the time coming,
Incase I had to ask to live back at home with my mother,
I know it would break her heart.

I was afraid of not ever getting a chance again,
Many want the job at this level & have experience of working in other industries,
This is all I know, I committed myself to this company years ago.
I was afraid of not getting to the point I dreamt of,
Taking care of my family, being in a position to inspire and be progressing.
I was afraid of going back to the shop checkout job,
I really hated it there.
I was afraid,
of failing to ever convince her parents I was worth some consideration,
They told her to marry a man who can stand on his own two feet.

I was afraid,
Of everyone thinking that I was a fake, I hadn't tried or that I was incompetent.

I was sad and I was angry.
If only I knew how to fall apart,
Maybe I would try it,
Maybe it would be better for me, re-building from scratch.
If nothing was expected of me, maybe everything would fall into perspective.

I was afraid that everyone was colluding against me.
I was afraid of not being strong enough.
I wished I would cry, because at least I would know how sad I was.

A world of seven billion people can feel so lonely.
I am trying to be Positive & trying to find my Smile again.
But something is trying to squash my hopes,
Telling me that every summit I see is a false horizon.
My legs are tired, my mind in turmoil,
Is there anyone who can tell me which way to go?

Because I may not have a job next week.

Publication Date: 11-28-2009

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