Past Life - Elinor Skinner (beach books .txt) 📗

Table of Contents

Change                                                    Not Living Life

Childhood                                                 Tomarrow

Lawyers                                                   Friends

Death                                                      Freedom in the Rain

Dreaded Feelings                                       Warmth in the Night

Ice Rain                                                   Undesireable

Love's End                                               Nothing

Change

He turned away from me,

left me under a tree.

 

I wonder if I did something wrong,

nothing left but heavy stillness.

Then the silence is broken by laughter.

Why are all of them laughing?

 

The other kids are playing soccer

in the same field like it was normal.

I hear my name in the wind as though

it is telling me to come home, to be happy.

 

Happiness was calling me somewhere.

The rustling of the leaves made me forget

as if the breeze could lift the burdens of this

world. As if flying were possible.

 

Hiding under the shade of tree, behind a high fence,

I stood as a solitary statue on a little hill.

Invisible and stone cold inside.

His back and his friends' backs.

Then he looked over his shoulder

as if to say he was sorry.

 

I didn't feel like laughing like everyone

else, and age doesn't have a say

when you grow up.

 

The wind tells me in my ear;

I'm still young, There's still time.

But didn't time just stop?

 

I will always be little, carefree,

this moment never happened.

This memory is a dream.

 

Singsong breeze are you telling

A truth or a lie?

I want to believe you.

 

Happiness's voice is still so far away.

Maybe if I could be like the birds,

it wouldn't take so long to find it.

 

 

Childhood

    The heart tears, as the eyes tear,

for the daughter to watch her empty family home

hurts less than the breath-taking cherry tree. Insanity.

Life of beauty,

rather than overshadow, the petals cast a glow

a softness of pink like how one would blush,

to support the crisscrossing of the flower dome

the trunk stands as a lone pillar into the ground,

where the deep roots lie, tunneling underneath,

swallowing the recent rain, rain which washed away;

the chalk from the sidewalk, the dust in the doorway,

and the footprints like no one ever lived there.

It should be replaced. It should be brought back;

the good times are part of yesterday's sunset,

the gray sky with the coming of sunrise,

the cherry blossoms appear transparent yet strong,

a scent present yet faint, windows clear from dirt yet

clouded by the cold like one's memory over the years – insanity

life of stillness into the air itself, making one's breath still,

her breath still, as even the pink glow cannot return

the color to her face, even though it surrounds her

and casts a magic over the house,

the enchantment has long departed

without a trace.

Lawyers

Everyday I hear people say they don't like lawyers.

Well, Why?

For they go through thick and thin, they see the ugly side of the world.

Upon evidence is: bloody footprints, guns, blades, images of victims.

They see witnesses crying, agony in their voice.

Ones who have heard lies and screams, seen the results of thefts, rapes, and murders.

The lawyers see this side of humanity.

 

There are the prosecutors who present the inhumanity with confidence.

They put the rapists and the murderers behind lock and key.

Then the defenders of the framed and innocent and spare them.

Sometimes they flip,

The innocence is sent behind the bars and excuted when they have done no wrong;

Other times the guilty are set free to touch and to end other lives.

It is a daily horror for the lawyer. Yet they are no different from us.

 

You see a lawyer's wife has past away, so he took care of everything.

One night his daughter came home crying;

"Why the tears?"

"Daddy I didn't want him to, I told him no..but."

"What happened?!"

Her boyfriend had raped her. And a case followed suit.

 

The lawyer wanted to put him away, but she pleaded.

"Daddy, please defend him!"

"Why?! He hurt you."

"But I love him, he just couldn't wait. Please Daddy, please!"

"I can't."  

"You CAN !! Please Daddy, I love him, I really do."

The lawyer bit his lip with tears held back in his eyes.

 

So the hammer hit and the court was silent.

In the back of his mind: he cursed the boy, but only spoke of his false innocence.

It was hard, the evidence firm, but held ground.

Even his daughter was forced to speak at the stand.

Yet the lawyer continued defending him to the end.

 

"NOT GUILTY." the jury declared the boy.

Once they were dismissed, the lawyer went to his daughter.

"Hey man, she's my girl."

"Not anymore."

"WHAT?!" his daughter glared at him.

"You didn't listen to me, but my father did."

"So? Come on."

She smiled, "I'm daddy's girl now."

The lawyer wept as he embraced his daughter.

 

You see lawyers are not different from us.

For they listen to thier children, because they love them.

Death (August 26, 2006)

Draining color turning you pale,

The world is turning black,

Inside you is becoming as cold as hail,

Pain draw throbbing, your limbs are now lack,

But dying is waiting for the next adveture! 

Dreaded Feelings (Aug. 26, 2006)

Creepying icy shivers,

Llike being watched,

Fear grips your heart,

Eyes wide and darting,

Then prickling slivers,

Something wretched,

Tasting strong tart,

This you can not escape, this very feeling!

 

Ice Rain (Sep. 21, 2006)

Cold, Frozen, Unreal Pain,

Just Like Winter Rain,

Pouring, Dripping,

Here the ending.

Love's End (Mar. 5, 2008)

In a Darkened World,

Icy Rain Falling, Alone.

Sheding Tears of Sorrow,

Screaming out Pain,

Laying There Dying.

 

Then I Realize No One To Lend A Hand.

 

I Picked Up My Fallen Self,

Wipe My Tears,

Hush My Screams,

And Keep On Moving On.

 

So You Tell Me..

 

How can You Break My Heart if it's already been Broken, and Thrown Away By Someone else?

How can You see My Soul Being Eaten Away in My Eyes,

If it is Shattered and Gone?

How can You Tell what I'm Thinking about what You said, or Done to Me,

If I lost My Mind So Long Ago?

 

How can You Destroy something that has already been Destroyed?

                    In Endless Darkness...

Not Living Life (Jul. 21, 2008)

The world seems to be so misunderstanding, I try to figure it all out,

and yet It spins out of my control, far beyond my own reach....

Never ever waits for me.

 

I guess the world doesn't care to stop,

Even if I fall back into Darkness.

 

It goes on while I continue to cry,

Being able to live a life is so confined in time.

Just as confining as Darkness is to my Soul.

 

Beginning to swallow me whole,

Into