Success Spelt Wrong - Kalai Selvi Arivalagan (small books to read .txt) 📗

Success Spelt Wrong

When I spelt success wrong

ticking seconds blushed in silence

Are you so careless to spell it wrong

to drag your days with choking failures?

Aimlessly my fingers tap the keys

and spell it out wrong again.

Next time when you type

touch the keys correctly for the first time

Never wait for another chance

for loving success decides your life.

 

Review 1:

 

Content:

I can relate to this poem, on a superficial level, simply by being an atrocious speller. Double letters, the s/c thing—success is hard! However, your poem is not just about that. It uses the word as a symbol fir actual success. The layers of this piece appeal to me.

 

Emotions:

The idea of focusing all sources of distress on a single mistake is familiar, and fairly heart wrenching. The matter-of-fact presentation intensified this.

 

Clarity:

I missed a few of the details. I think I understood the underlying message (but you tell me) but phrases like "ticking seconds blushed in silence" and "for loving success decides your life" went over my head.

 

Sound:

I'm not sure whether this is called "free" or "blank" verse, but whatever it is worked; it sounded controlled, passionate, and musical, all at once. Taliah I

 

Review 2:

 

Kalai, what an interesting poem. You would never think of what could happen if you spell success wrong. Your poem reaches down into the depths of the psyche of how a person views their fate if they cannot spell success right in their mind. Because the thoughts are the road path to the conscious and subconscious mind. The author explains the failures that will be heaped upon you if you spell success wrong in your thinking.

 

This poem is an in depth meaning poem with the actual meaning of success to tapping the keys to your future with success. The author warns the reader to be careful to tap out the correct spelling of success and not to wait so that you can live your live with love.

 

Summary: A very unique and intriguing poem with a very complex meaning of success. When you first read the poem you would assume the author is writing about typing on typewriter keys. But when you delve deeper into the meaning you can decipher the meaning of what you have typed mentally into your own mind. Success or failure! I liked the author wrote something with an entirely different perspective on success. Well written! Bravo!!! I applaud the author. Goldylocks

 

Review 3:

 

I chose to review this poem because of the paradoxical title and who is not interested in 'success' anyway?

 

Your poem is about those little, careless slips - which are not, in themselves, so important - but perhaps indicate a prevailing mood or a loss of aspiration, which could spiral away. At least, that is my feeling from your poem. I think you are a little hard on yourself there! I particularly liked this line: "ticking seconds blushed in silence" and I could feel your embarrassment.

 

I also liked the image of 'choking failures' because failure really can affect us in very physical ways, it is not just a mental reaction when something goes wrong. Who has not gasped in horror at a really bad mistake? I thought your poem was emotive as well as giving a warning about carelessness.I cannot agree with your last line - only my opinion of course - as 'success' as a sole aim can lead to self-obsession and other less admirable results.

 

That's just me, probably, as I like most things in moderation! I wonder if you could have avoided using the word 'wrong' twice at the end of lines one and three?This was a good poem and a timely reminder in general.I hope you found this review encouraging.  Regards Diane

I am Sham

Worn out, shabby, weak, old

time has thrown me out.

 

Thinking my days of early twenties

when no one considered

either my skills or perfectness -

devoid of flesh on bones

no one ready to choose me.

 

Fate moved me into married life

if he liked or disliked

we have crossed the span.

With the old age setting in

when withered spirits engulf life

I am called 'Sham'

 

Never learned to be false

I always believed to be frank.

Biased or not to call me 'sham'

slapped on the face.

Never should I believe again

'I have achieved'

 

The word hitting on my nerves

spreads pain everywhere.

It let my eyes open wide.

Would I ever be treated so

for life is false at all levels -

 

You are here today -

you will be gone tomorrow.

 

 Review 1:

 

First Impression/Thoughts:

I should tell you upfront my personal prejudice - I'm not a fan of free verse. That said, I quite enjoyed this probably because I found it honest and - yes - I could identify with it *Smile*.

 

Creativity/Impact:

Honesty is always creative and the doubts and feelings you share are uniquely you. You can't get much more creative than that.

 

Message/Theme:

This was a poem that thematically expresses your doubts about the road you've traveled in your life. It certainly is specific to a relationship you've had over many years that has deteriorated with age, with familiarity, with complacency.

 

Technique/Technical Notes:

I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words.

 

Title - "I am Sham" The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title invited the reader in to explore what brought you to this point - what falseness you felt had earned you the title. I'm sure some will look just to see what you're talking about. You did incorporate the title into the poetic content as well which I thought was an excellent use.

 

Grammar/Wording - You use bitter words to describe where you find yourself at this point. The words reflect an emptiness you feel although there's a level of doubt that you deserve such a moniker. I think to some degree, that's where I felt conflicted about your poem. In verse 3 you wrote "if he liked or disliked." It seemed to just hang there without connection. If he liked or disliked what? Marriage? You? As I read your poem, the emotions are clear but the connections between the emotions and the meanings of the lines sometime fade. Perhaps the visible example was the dichotomy of being called "a sham" and "never learned to be false." I think you answered your own question: Who can tell me? You can.

 

Form/Flow - I'm sure I've said this before; free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. It still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic norms, or simply the use of poetic lines. That's what I look for when reading. In free verse; every single line should be written and placed for a reason. I think you did a good job of both making this feel like poetry and flow like poetry.

 

Poetic devices - I thought your use of enjambment was very effective in pulling the reader from line to line. I thought your use of assonance also made for a pleasing and flowing read.

 

Emotion/Imagery - Emotion is the center stage for this write. There is a sense of outrage that someone you've been with so long could label you a sham; yet, you seem to accept it albeit with indignation. You know the truth as only someone who's lived it can.

 

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this for the honesty I felt you wove into each line. I think that you knew exactly what you were feeling and had a lot of emotions in your mind as you wrote this. I feel that in the moment of writing, you forgot that we - the readers - don't have access to all those feelings and, with the passage of time, you can now go back and relook this from our perspective. This is a good poem but it felt like there was something missing that would allow the reader to fully understand what was driving you. Thank you for sharing your vision and talent with me today.

 

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

 

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best, Ken

 

 

Imprint

Publication Date: 04-14-2015

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Success