The Darkness - Jasmine Paddock (autobiographies to read txt) 📗

This World is All Screwed Up

Disease, starvation, dehydration, desperate pleas…
Why is all of this pain gone unseen?
Are there no people who wish the world to change?
Is there no one who will step forward and unshackle the chains?
Death, sorrow, greed, war…
The world cannot withstand much more.
This world is all screwed up.
So many mind are becoming corrupt.
Loss, pain, sadness, heartbreak…
Why are so many people left to feel an unbearable ache?
Where is that hope so many speak of?
Where is the much needed help from above?
Violence, anger, destruction, hatred…
With the way things are going, soon everyone will be dead.
What has this once glorious world come to?
What can any of the peace-lovers do?
Cruelty, abuse, abandonment, hurt…
How can we put a stop to this terrible curse?
This evil needs to be put to an end.
The question is not why… but when.
Bombs, guns, grenades, and knives…
Countless people have given up their lives.
Do we just sit here and cry about our fate?
No! WE MAKE A CHANGE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

The Pain of Death

Her heart races.
It is near.
She has to face this.
Her secret fear.
She turns…
Facing the mountain lion.
Her stomach churns.
This is no dream she dies in.
These nightmares never end…
Each time she can feel it when she dies.
Another death lies around the bend…
She slowly loses her “nine lives.”
She can feel the pain of each death.
She is overcome with fear.
She takes in her final breath…
And the world does not disappear.
The mountain lion pounces onto her…
She feels the pain of it ripping her to shreds.
She feels the unbearable hurt…
Then she is once again dead.

She Pretends to Feel Nothing

She pretends to feel nothing…
But she feels pain.
She is not cheerful.
She is not happy.
She is not at peace.
She wears a mask she has worn so many times before.
She hides her pain so no one can see.
No one realizes exactly how much she is hurting.
She punishes herself when others will not.
She tells herself she is a pathetic excuse for a human being.
She feels she does not deserve forgiveness.
She wants to just give up and give in to the pain…
But she cannot hurt her friends once again.
She feels hatred toward herself.
She wishes she could just lie down and die.
She is killing herself for her mistake…
She is hurting deep inside where no one can see.
She has one good day out of the bunch…
And all assume she is acting like it never happened.
Only has she had one day without any pain…
Physical or mental… perhaps both in time will be true.
She does not deserve to have such great friends…
But somehow they still love her.
She hurts herself when no one can see.
Her heart is so hollow with her own betrayal.
She betrayed herself even more than she did her friends.
She stays as busy as possible without a moment to think…
For a single moment will bring about terrible thoughts…
Thoughts that bring about an unbearable pain.
She cannot have a moments rest…
Or else her mask will shatter to show how she really feels.
Her pain is not one that can be cured.
She lost her own trust too long ago.
She had finally gained it back after avoiding the blade for 6 months…
Until the feeling came again… Worse than the time before.
She hates herself more than ever…
She cannot stand to look at the liar in the mirror.
She once again proves that she does not belong.
All she can do is hurt others and herself…
Perhaps it is because she knows of nothing else.
All she ever felt was pain and hatred…
And now she feels it once again.
Perhaps her birth was nothing more than a mistake…
One that should have never taken place.
She is the black sheep of the world…
Too evil and strange to be loved by people of her own blood.
The pain appears whenever she writes poetry…
Growing more viscous with each appearance.
Eating away at her until there is nothing left…
The pain hurts so much she wants to scream.
She cannot withstand this pain much longer.
It is killing her deep inside…
It is unseen… For she is none other than me.

Too Much Destruction in This Life

There has been too much destruction of this life.
A destruction of a life constantly riddled with strife.
Worn down by years of being unloved…
Her pleas are not acknowledged from the above.

No one listens. No one hears.
No one cares enough to heed her painful tears.
Facing her inner demons every day…
Her resolve is beginning to slowly fade.

Her pain is destroying her heart.
She is often told of how in this world she has no part.
Were her life to end here…
Almost no one would feel the urge to shed a tear.

The Shadows Hide a Secret No One Knows

The shadows hide a secret no one knows…
A secret of closed doors and many blows.
A secret of pain and fear…
A secret of screams no one can hear.

A hidden scream in the dark…
A much worse fear than a simple shark.
Hidden in the shadows this secret remains…
This secret of unbearable pain.

No one knows of the blade slicing across a wrist…
No one knows of the hand that forms into a fist.
A secret of tears running down a face…
A secret of someone who awaits Death’s embrace.

A knife rests in a trembling hand…
The hand of one who is unable to take a stand.
Driving towards a heart this knife goes…
Waiting to drive home that fatal blow.

A knife is held in a tight grip…
The grip of one who wishes to end it.
The secret is of a pain that becomes too much…
The secret is I am the one holding the knife in an ever-tightening clutch.

Hatred For Myself

Hatred for myself…
So hazardous for my health.
I cannot help but feel that way…
Every single agonizing day.
I hurt inside at the 2 friends lost (figured it out now) to me…
Yet they think I must not be sincere in my apologizing.
They do not understand they hurt me even more…
When they turn their backs and shut the door.
I can understand their anger toward me…
But I cannot understand the in-fighting.
Stop hurting each other.
Haven’t you learned anything from your mother?
Don’t lose friends for my sake.
You are making a terrible mistake.
You all used to be such great friends…
Now, at a few words it all ends?
If that is all it takes to turn against each other…
Than you obviously learned nothing from your mother.
If you have nothing nice to say…
Then be quite until your anger doth fade.
Do not hurt each other over such useless things.
Especially over the likes of me.

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