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Just So You Realize...

I just want to tell you a little bit about me. 

I am a very colerful person and can forgive easly. The people around me have a lot of influence to my life. 

When I was young I was abused and I will never forget that, nor do I want to. 

It tells who I am, and what I over came. 

Do I want you to feel bad? 

Heck no!

I am proud of all the things in my life that have happened. 

The things that inspire me to be me. The things that have formed and shaped me. Every person in the world knows somebody. 

Wait! No, I don't. Do I? 
     Yes, you do. If you read a story. If you talk to people. If you look around you know someone. And sometimes the people around you are part of who you are and you can never change that. 

Things happen in the United States that Americans will never forget. But that is who we are and what we may or may not stand for. 

What in the world does this have to do with you? 

Everything. 

That is who you are. How you are raised. Who your friends are. Why you like the things you do. Why you are alive. 

Hold on! 

Don't space off and think off all the things that have changed you. They are there, weather you know it or not. 

And yet again you don't know anybody or you don't want to? 

Well, to bad. Because you are going to know me and some of the people that have changed me. This is my ranting and my writing. How I keep hold of the edge of the clif. 

The same clif that was made for us to climb and conquer. The one that we will. In our own way. Weather you share or not, you will know your story. 

I'm sure you have a way to tell other people about yourself, but this is my way and I hope that you like it. 

Enjoy!

Thanks for all the support, I owe you. 

By the way I have some ramdom thoughts and stories in there and poems that have changed me. 

Feeling Poems

One Look

 

I have to say

I had a good day

It was because of you

Day after day

 

You make me see

That you can see and be

All that you plee

 

Flying through the Sky

Whooping in the willow trees

Whispering in the wind

Wishing to a stat

 

You like to joke

Even when we poke

Wrapping us in an invisible cloak

One that can’t be broke

 

You give me that look

Knowing you can’t be shook

Your sturdier then a book

 Wall it took was that look

For me to have a good day 

 

    This is for one of the best teaches I have ever had, she truly inspired me every day and was one of the people that helped me make it through life. I'm not sure if she relizes it or not. 

 

 

 

Cold 

 

Gold leaves falling to the ground

Winter calling to be heard

Snowflakes falling to be found

Cold coming to be absurd

 

Christmas coming

Carrales calling

Snowflakes flaring

Me not really caring  

But for the blare of cold

 

Rain for rainbows

Rot and restlessness

Mosquitoes and misleadings

Depression and darkness

Sadness and sorrow

 

Cold is dark and dumb

Instead of cold we need to see

Sun not snow

Heat not hail

Rainbows without rain

Just to be fair

Because I really care

 

I hate everything that has to do with cold. Winter, rain, hail, fall and yes, snow. Yes, some things are beautiful but like the cold, they can be stupid. Sorry about being hateful, but the cold is really dumd, at least that's what I think. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Guilt 

 

Grinding of the Gut

Heart pounding in pain

Feeling the sorrow of shame

Every story’s not the same

 

I can remember the time

When I took something that wasn’t mine

Only if I was worth a dime

It was a tiny crime

But I still had to do the time

 

You were bad

That makes me mad

I cry to the man who calls himself principal

Saying  I was unthinkable

 

I cried and cried

My eyes were never dry

I can remember the pain from that day

I have to say that I changed

I stayed all that day

Thinking of what was done

Coping with the pain

And the grinding of the gut we call guilt

 

What did I take what did I take! 

Oh that's easy. 

It was when I was in third grade. We had those open desks and I just so happened to see one of those nice pens sitting there. Of course I took it. There was really nothing else to do really. And so I put it in my pants. Yes I said pants. But it was only on the sode, don't worry. And then it took 3 days for them to figure out it was me. But it was one pen. 

      I had to sit in the office over lunch to think of what I should have done instead. 

      Yup, I should have taken them all. Then they wouldn't have known he had any in the first place, wow I am just so smart. 

      The worst part wasn't sitting in the office. It was the fact that it was on my birth day. I stayed in the office, ON MY BIRTH DAY! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

School

 

The building is a pillar of knowledge

Whispering in the wind it’s wisdom

Waiting to be wanted

Always there watching like a hawk

 

It calls to them to get to class

As the wisdom is wasted

The whining of wounded up teens

Zigzags through the halls

Flying  like butterflies and humming like bees

 

It’s a place here and there

And almost everywhere

Where you learn and grow

Where you cry and shout

Whine and pout

 

It hears the sighs and happy cries

When the day is done

And they leave to see the sun

The School says bye as they go to have fun    

They will come back

They don’t think it’s good or cool

But it’s the school

 

    That was me everyday in school. But most of the teachers hate us anyway and know I'm at the age that I know that school is a good thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See You and Me

 

You and Me

Are meant to see

And there will be all those

Weeping willow trees

 

Me and Myself

Can very well sit on the shelf

Thats whats meant to be with me

It’s not like I’m an elf

 

They and them

Grew like a stem

 

Us and we

Can climb that tree of misery

Look about without a doubt

 

You are meant to see with me

Go to the shelf with myself

Go like a stem with them

Climb that tree of misery with we

 

It’s like a bell and you can tell

Ringing with me

Marvlus for myself

To the tree with we

We were always meant to be

But you don’t seem to see

 

I think that every one in the world has a crush once that didn't like them back. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lies 

 

Why there is no point

There is always pain

There is no pride

You sometimes do cry

When you decide to lie

 

When you don’t care to share

It is not only you that will seem so care

Because when you play truth or dare in life

You take the dare

Because you didn’t want to share      

 

Just open your mouth

Make your choice to let it out

Only when It’s a lie does it not count

They will feel your loud voicing dout

 

What wrong with the truth

Like babe Ruth

You always look to the truth

 

If you lie then you will die

There will be no good bye pie

You will cry for what you have done

All because you decided to lie

Maybe you will just die inside




Yes, I’m sure that you’ve heard not to lie. Everyone is told that, but not all listen. I’m not saying that I don’t lie. I’m saying that I do. That’s why it has such an impact on me. Because I told a lie and I did indeed die inside a little bit. I got in even more trouble for telling the lie then I would have for the action. We all lie and now it is time for you to accept it and tell the truth.

 

 

Friends

Do I have a lot of friends?

No I don’t, but the ones that I do have matter everything to me. They were the ones that got me through everything. And friends like that are always true to you and what you stand for They are the ones that accept your weirdness and roles with it. They accept you so you do the same. Over time me and my friends grew closer and closer. It was so much fun and I did learn a lot to.

Crap, that’s basicly my little pony all over again. Yes, i watched that, but only because I had a younger sister.

So me and my pony friends all had the magical power of friendship. And somehow everything was so much more dramatic than it had to be. And then one of them became princess and then ond was a party planner. And somehow everything stopped making sense when everything got to dramatic and stupid.

So… yup that’s my life. My little pony in real life.

Just add people. And boys. And real life. And a little more drama. And don’t forget the stupid people. And the part in life when sometimes you weren’t meant to be friends.

And I would love for you to know a little bit more about the people that have been there for me.  

 

 

So lets start with a rescent memory.....

 

 

You look over the steep hill and dread you choice. You want to go back, you will die if you go down. There are arms reaching out to grab you on the way. You don’t know it but the monsters are behind you. You look at the slick icing cover

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