'A Comedy of Errors' in Seven Acts - Spokeshave (the chimp paradox TXT) 📗
- Author: Spokeshave
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(Puts up his hands)
I say, my friends, put up your "dukes" and I will show
How Englishmen resent an insult gross.
(Friends interefere to prevent blows.)
Quezox: Hold! Hold! my friends, sweet Bonset means no ill,
'Twere only lack of polish in his speech.
We Spaniards sweetly phrase our ev'ry word
E'en when we prick one sharply in the ribs.
1st Gentleman (excitedly)
Well, who is this, with dignity enrobed
Who like a fighting cock doth bravely strut?
2nd Gentleman (whispers)
Whist, little friend, this is the mighty Quezox,
Who doth within his hand hold destiny.
Twere best for business purposes to yield
Apparent homage, though we him disdain.
1st Gentleman (turns to Quezox)
Ho! Ho! I did a mistake serious make
In expectation that a mind so great
Would find its home within a form most grand,
But like mine own it chose a cottage small.
Bonset: Well, Gentlemen, so you like not the line,
Proceed to scramble in at your sweet will.
All speak:
A trifling discord doth like sauce in soup
Make betterment. Hence we my now declaim,
In happy vein: "All's well that endeth well."
Francos . . . . . . Governor General of a Province.
Quezox . . . . . . Resident Delegate from the Province.
Halstrom . . . . . Aide to the Governor.
Carpen . . . . . . Executive Secretary.
Filipino Gentlemen.
Muchacho.
Scene I: A garden.
Quezox sits in an arbor with lute in hand; sings.
I.
My lute doth troll the longings of my heart;
Deep-rooted there
Are forms so fair
Whose mem'ry of my life doth form a part.
II.
But like the knights of old, when action calls,
My Lady fair,
With raven hair,
Must be forgot till lovelit twilight falls.
III.
But then those forms angelic in each line,
With happy smile
Which doth beguile,
Appear before me, whisp'ring love divine.
Quezox soliloquizes:
But Venus, though enwrapped by passion's robe,
Like mortals, tires and seeks her restful bow'r,
While duties stern demanding thought profound
So that the morrow's needs were ably met,
Shall for the nonce supplant within my mind
All dreams of those who, fairy-like, do waft
Themselves unbidden to my mental home
Unless most firm resolve doth bar them hence.
But at the throne of Wisdom I must kneel
And suppliant pray for light to guide my steps
For there be deep entanglements to snare
My feet, if circumspection aids me not.
This Carpen hath a sleek and subtle mind
Full well equipped for all stern duty's calls;
Hence we who seek to tread in Freedom's path
Find him a stumbling block to be removed.
But we with clever strategy must work
And hide our deep design in honey'd words,
For he hath wisely kept his lips well sealed,
Thus leaving us without just cause for plaint,
Methinks 'tis hard to gauge this gentleman,
For silence wise is oft misunderstood;
Behind it Wisdom, hidden, may abide,
Of Folly it may make her secret home.
Of import weighty is the post he holds,
But from it we must shrewdly pry him out,
For he may Francos slyly misinform
And so delay fruition of our hopes.
(Claps his hands; enter muchacho.)
Muchacho: What wouldst thou, sir; mine ears did hear the call,
So quick I haste with "Scotch and soda" primed.
Quezox: Go to, thou vermin, that shouldst dare presume
To quick determine what shall quench my thirst.
Hast thou not heard that vintage of the vine
Since Caesar hath th' imperial crown assumed
Is now become the only proper draught
For those who in his favor high would stand?
Hence "grape juice" bring, and speed thee, or the back
Shall feel the stripes thy varlet hide demands.
Muchacho: I beg, Señor, my feeble speech be heard:
Methought that "grape juice" were a childish pap,
But I will bring it and an orangeade,
Thus heaping honors on two noble men.
(Exit muchacho)
Quezox: But thought hath strayed like an unbridled steed,
And I must harness it to work my will.
This Bonset: Francos seems to love him well
And may him thrust in Carpen's cast-off shoes;
My bowels gripe me with suspicion dire
That plans are rip'ning to this very end;
Hence we must pour in an unwilling ear
A weighty protest ere the scheme matures.
An open opposition were not wise
For Francos hath, I ween a stubborn streak
Which might by irritation grow so big
That naught could move it; while a flatt'ring tongue
Might bend him, all unconscious to himself,
To work our every will, while he doth dream
That from his fertile brain the seeds do sprout;
'Tis thus we'll plant our choice in Carpen's place.
Muchacho (bearing grape juice and cigarettes approaches;
speaks):
Señor, an hombre at the portal knocks
Who hath an oily tongue, which wagged desire
To speack with thee, but I all unawere
Of thy design, did ward him gently off.
Quezox: 'Twere well, thus ever do when skins are white.
But did this hombre show a mighty girth?
Muchacho: In sooth he did, Señor; his leg like to
A python gorged with infant carabao
Did to his body make comparison.
Quezox: Ha! bid him hence. I know this hombre well!
Go twist thy tongue into a double knot
So that his importuning I escape.
(Exit muchacho)
The sacred writ doth tell of one who sat
Upon the judgment seat to justice serve,
And when a widow's importuning sore
Did him annoy, to ease his troubled mind,
He listened to her tale and justice gave,
Fearing her sighs and tears, else ne'er would cease.
Hence I must close mine ear lest eager plaints
Should move my tender heart to grant his plea.
(Enter muchacho, speacks:)
Most noble Señor, at the door do stand
Three gentlemen whose color doth demand
Cognition, hence I bade them patient wait
While I acquaint thee of their anxious quest.
Quezox: Thou sayest well; go bid them enter here,
And then refreshments serve, at my command.
Muchacho: Si, Señor, si; I grape juice will prepare,
Quezox: Hold! These are men with red blood in their veins,
Hence wine were fitting bev'rage for their needs,
With cigarettes and black cigars galore,
For we may lengthen speech till morning's sun
Shall bid the anxious night give place to day.
(Enter Gentlemen)
Quezox (with outstretched hands):
Señores, ye I greet! All that is here is yours.
'Tis said the walls have ears, hence it were wise
To make this trellised bow'r our council house.
For here no spy can crouch behind a screen
And through his ears store up our treasured thoughts.
But let us to the point, which magnet-like
Did so resistless draw thee to this place
To problem solve which doth much thought require.
1st Gentleman:
Good Quezox, tell us, doth our plan seem ripe?
And can we trust this Governor to do
Our will, when Carpen shall be ousted from
The nest in which he snuggles restfully?
2d Gentleman:
The question were most apt, for we would name
Him who shall hold the secrets of the state.
3d Gentleman:
And sanitation! Should we not declare
For one of our own blood, whose sympathy
Doth bind him to our customs which we love
And so uproot the follies of the past?
Quezox: Señores, we as serpents must be wise.
To quick reveal all hidden in our hearts
Would long delay the time of which we dream;
Hence we must center now on Carpen's case
Our every energy and clear the path
Of one who ever wields a mighty pow'r,
And his fat place on one we trust, bestow,
For thus we breach shall make within the wall.
To speak of sanitation were unwise
For Francos, in his heart, a mighty dread
Doth feel, lest microbes in his castle hide;
And so distempers of most deadly forms
Engender; and great trust doth he repose
In squirting medications through a hose
So that these bugbears find no resting place,
To propagate their kinds within his home.
1st Gentleman:
But Quezox, this Governor hath Bonset
Chosen, I do fear, to fill the place
When Carpen doth step out, and all our plans
May come to naught unless we sharp protest.
2d Gentleman:
Mayhap 'twere best to earnest recommend
Carpen and Bonset each for some fat berth
Which carries not such import in its wake,
Till time the opportunity may give
To toss them overboard and clear the ship.
Quezox (Claps his hands and the muchacho appears);
Haste! For the inner man refreshments bring,
For vino and cigars may clear our minds.
(Exit muchacho)
Reflectively:
My firm insistence did one cancer cure
But when my mem'ry speaks of vandal hand
Which once did throttle me in vulgar strife
My vitals gripe me with a righteous wrath.
I did presume that Seldonskip would feel
A proper rev'rence for officials high,
And fear on God's anointed, to bestow
A mighty kick upon his nether parts
But these Americanos know not fear
And each one feels himself, belike, a king,
Hence it were wise, by strategy and guile
To circumvent them not by open strife.
Ah, so it is: the Filipino gentleman,
Unlike the boor, disdains to war with fists;
But place a keen-edged bolo in his hand
And he comports himself most gallantly.
3d Gentleman:
We must with wisdom guard our every act
Lest a suspicion dark fill Francos' mind.
Thus far, he like a well trained niño, hath
With rev'rence bowed assent, to our demands.
(Muchacho returns with refreshments)
Quezox: And flattery. Like child its mother's milk,
He doth gulp down and eager cry for more;
Hence dose him well; you'll puke his stomach not.
But let's to bed, the morrow brings its cares,
And we must freshened be to work our ends.
(Exeunt omnes)
Scene 2: The Executive Room
Francos: Well gentlemen, I see insistence grows
Anent the humble office Carpen holds.
It seemeth to me that without his aid
I like a desert wanderer am lost.
Quezox: But Sire, a man of parts can fill his place
And of the varied strings of business tie a knot
Which will hold state affairs in proper place,
For they depend not on an special one.
1st Gentleman:
Sire, shall we, like the child, forever creep?
It is not thus the limbs find strength to walk.
2d Gentleman:
The mother thrusts her birdling from its nest
And thus it learns to wing its heavenward flight.
3d Gentleman:
The doting father who trusts not his son
But anxious coddles him from ev'ry care
Can never know what possibilities
Do dormant lie within that stunted brain.
Francos, hesitatingly:
But Quezox, when the father's anxious eye
Doth quick discern some symptom which doth like
The weather-cock, respond to ev'ry breeze
Prudence would whisper, "It were well to wait."
Quezox: Ah, Sire, Procrastination is a thief
Which steals the treasure hidden in the brain,
While if it were supplanted by stern acts
Like to the sword 'twould ward off ev'ry foe.
Francos: Ah lack-a-day! Uncertainty doth fill
My mind. I would not aspirations block
With idle fears, but still I must beware,
Or when too late, these fears may take on life.
All speak:
Fear is a coward word and always flees
When Action shows himself armed cap-a-pie
And thus prepared to wage aggressive fight.
Hence, honored sire let's throw it to the dogs!
Francos, fretfully:
Well, have it as thou wilt, and on thy heads
Blame shall her thistled crown with pomp bestow
If Failure thrusts her grim and wrinkled face
With grinning smile to comment on our work.
All: Thanks, and again more thanks, most noble Sire!
The sun of Freedom shows her smiling face
Above the horizon of discontent,
Portending happy day so long delayed.
(Exeunt Quezox and Gentlemen to waiting room)
Scene 3: Waiting Room.
Quezox: 'Tis done, and, Gentlemen, this doth reveal
Most aptly how sweet concert for the time
Doth work our purpose on this pliant soul.
So long as he from contact with his kind
We can prevent by flattery and guile;
He, like to wax within the moulder's hand,
May form a figurehead of brave design,
But statue-like it were an empty house.
1st Gentleman:
I have a thought, sweet Quezox, and must voice
It in thine ear. Soon, from that distant land
Where our oppressors dwell, others will hie
Them to our shores; and they may be of mould
More stern, and thus impediments
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