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of that Jove-like pair

That rules the destiny of our great state.

Col Toady:

Ha, thou hast said! In all the universe,

No other souls, like these, can quick discern

Great worth combined with mental attributes

Which qualify for high official place:

When in these isles a census must be made

Their eagle eyes discerned my hiding place

And then perceiving qualities most rare

Demanded that I serve the public weal!

Sir Henmart:

And me! Hid in my happy prairie home,

They tore me thence, all for the nation's good!

Sir Windbag (striking his manly breast):

I, too, inherent qualities possess

Which caused those mental eyes to hunt me out!

Francos:

But, gentlemen, this state is honeycombed

With treason dark unto the pow'rs that be.

Even our party men, with cold disdain,

Look on our policy with covert sneer.

Some few there are who grovel in the mire,

But most deport themselves with silent mien;

These should be watched, and when the moment comes

Where opportunity her hand extends,

We should her aid accept, and lop those heads

Which placed on shoulders square with spine erect

Dare in the privacy of social life

To breathe disloyalty to us who rule.

Sir Windbag:

Ah, sire, sweet music to mine ears thy words

Do make. Within my university

Some loyal souls have in epistles sweet

Breathed loyalty. Such should the passport be.

And if this document cannot be shown

It were sure proof that in the rebel heart

Treason doth lurk and only hides its head

To firmly hold position, at our hands.

Francos:

But, Windbag, dost thou not perceive that the

Vile press, which here opinion seems to form,

Would placard on its pages with great glee

That civil service hath been swept aside?

No! we must, with the Indian's guile, our track

Cover insinuatingly, and wise.

But vigilance should be our slogan now

That we may spy out each disloyal rogue.

Col. Toady:

This civil service is a brittle shield

When pure Democracy doth wield the sword,

And were it strong, the rebel that it guards

Can be unhorsed by stabbing in the back.

Francos:

O happy thought! within my secret heart

I long have cherished it. Now to your posts—

And for the conflict buckle on the sword.

Disloyalty to Tinio avenge!

Sir Higgs:

While I'll take little part in this crusade,

Still it doth pleasure me most mightily

When I reflect that every head lopped off

Affords much joy to some good Democrat.

'Twere wise to little say unto the mob

For it each idle word will subtile twist,

But smile, and smile, yet keep the guillotine

Well oiled and ready for its cleaning work.

All sing with great gust except Sir Higgs who beats time

with a baton presented by the Secretary of War:

"We're living in a hotbed of sedition;

These "rats" have been infected by tradition.

If we can't smoke them out

And give our friends a place,

We'll plug the rat holes up

And thus we'll save our face,

Hence we must wage the battle stern and hearty;

These posts must serve as flagstaffs for our party."

All Shout:

"Hip, Hip, Hurrah! Hip, Hip, Hurrah!! Hip, Hip, Hurrah!!!

and a

Tammany Tiger!"

Old Fogy.

A Solemn Conclave Dramatis Personae

Ilustrados
Representatives
Count Luie
Tightwad Twins
A Band of Minstrels

Scene: A Garden Bower

A Minstrel sings:

The day hath shed its gauzy veil of light,

As evening's sable gown usurps its place.

Hear the night bird sweetly singing

While through space her way she's winging,

Melody she's gaily flinging

Peace and joy with twilight bringing

If Care's dull day, while beck'ning to the night,

Hath us depressed let Joy now show his face.

First Ilustrado:

Son of Arion, from Castalia's fount

Where melody divine doth bubble forth,

Thou must thy thirst have slaked with copious drafts

For gods alone inspire such sounds divine.

Second Gentleman of State:

'Twere well the cares of day to toss aside

And welcome evening's quiet with a smile,

But we who here in solemn conclave meet

Can squander moment few to court the Muse;

Stern duty calls, and to each patriot ear

'Tis music sweet, to which he quick responds,

Then to the council board let us repair

And these the mysteries of state evolve.

First Representative:

Time swiftly flies with heading on her wings.

From out the eastern skies where Caesar dwells,

The lightnings flash reports that should rejoice

Each loyal heart within this island realm.

Soon, senators with dignity enrobed

Will grace the halls of our enfranchised state,

And then the padlock which our lips now close

Shall like a useless toy to be cast side.

Then can we voice unto the list'ning world

Those noble aspirations long confined

Lest their frank utterance should work us ill

And closer seal the bonds which hold us fast.

For, what concessions our oppressors make,

Can never be withdrawn; and when they see

That folly prompted all, 'twill be in vain,

And we can their discomfort laugh to scorn.

Second Ilustrado:

O, for the days when under Spanish rule

Costumbre firmly anchored on her throne

Disdainfully did innovation block

Whene'er it threatened danger to our peace;

Then every tao in his wonted place

Was taught that sweet contentment with the lot

Which his creator had to him assigned

Epitome of virtue did proclaim.

But now dire discontent doth stalk abroad

And with a vitriol tongue disturbance make

Through pedagogues, imported from a land

Which recognizes not distinction wise.

First Ilustrado:

Thou hast my thoughts in happy words expressed.

When once the tao has his A B C

Well hammered in his stupid mulelike skull

He ever looks on toil with proud disdain

And even for zapatos fondly yearns,

While now that Francos hath the fashion set

By proclamation as he neared our isles

These callow youths may covet stove pipe hats.

Second Ilustrado:

Alas, I fear these happy days when we

Can loll in cooling shades while others toil

For us, on stipends which like widow's mite

Are small: will in the future disappear.

These men who prate of slavery in these isles

Do know full well that witness false they bear.

We buy not souls and on the record place

Their names among the chattels which we own,

But their life's labor for a certain sum

We purchase, when in times of sorry stress

They fain prefer it thus, rather than starve;

But slavery! The Orient knows it not.

Third Ilustrado:

And usury! 'Tis an offensive word:

Our enemies, like arrow from the bow,

Are aiming it to pierce our very heart

While 'tis a practice which costumbre shields.

The slothful servant, so the Good Book says,

Was he who in a napkin hid his gold;

But he who shrewdly other talents made

The Master praised, and to him also gave

The unused talent which he wisely took

From him who slothfully no effort made

To double that which in his care was placed,

And thus by usury much wealth amass;

Yet the Americanos from this learn

No wisdom, but forthwith condemn

The teachings of the Savior of Mankind

Which we with thrift and energy apply.

First Ilustrado:

And so again the Bible aptly says

That he who careth for his family not

Is worse than he who infidelity

Doth to his breast with loving arms enfold.

Second Representative:

Alas, 'tis innovation they enthrone

Within the halls of science where they steal

Our trusty dogs to torture in the name

Of progress, while our hearts indignant burn.

First Ilustrado:

Again, in terms opprobrious they mouth

Anent our noble elevating sport

Where our illustrious citizens do meet

And in the cockpit spend a happy hour.

Third Representative:

And while we read that patriarchs of old

Did revel in the arms of beauty fair,

But now when we queridas do embrace

Like lions caged Americanos roar:

Our customs sacred made by hand of time

Are most irrev'rent treated by these men.

O, for the day when Spain did rule supreme,

For they, the "haughty Dons," did sympathize

With us in taste, and in our native sports

Joined with a hearty zest which proved them men;

But now, where'er we turn, obstacles rise

To curb and mar, until our lives seem drear.

Second Gentleman of the State:

Alas, our beardless youths seem satisfied

With club in hand to pass at fleeting ball

Or chase it, monkey-like, in open field

Thus throwing dignity unto the winds.

First Twin:

And those who from the hand of Boreas filched

Congealment's art, which did dinero put

Within their well filled purse, as day by day

They fattened on the appetites of those

Who loved a cooling draft more than the pelf

Which is alas the seed that germinates

To form a mighty tree which time enfruits

With greed which sours the eager mouth it feeds.

We did a statute draw with cunning hand

To guard this enterprise of worthy aim,

But now the enemy hath broke our guard

And Ice a gold mine now no longer is;

Hence we must hedge our various rights about

With laws, as soon as Jones hath made his play.

No Filipino hunts the hills for gold.

Americanos show this vulgar greed,

And so we'll tax them: tax them till they squeal!

Then they may in disgust depart this land,

While we, just for a song, may gobble up

The claims which they so long uncertain sought.

Second Twin:

Francos is honest, hence were easy fooled;

But we suspicion in his mind must plant.

We are but few who hold the purse strings here,

And union sweet: we to our aid must call

Those who have tarried long within our walls.

The saints, be praised, are weak and pow'rless now,

For Francos stubbornly disdains them all,

And hence our scheming he will ne'er discern.

First Twin:

Well said: the vultures which are nested here

Have eyes that cat-like pierce the deepest shades,

And were these men in high official place

'Twere vain attempt to work our deep laid plans.

First Ilustrado:

We long have profit made from rentals high

And quiet sat, while, like the cormorant

We gulped sweet morsels from their quiv'ring flesh;

But soon we must their very forms devour.

First Representative:

But we must ever wear engaging smile

While poisoned chalice off'ring to their lips;

Hence we should caution woo, lest she doth warn

Him who the offered cup would fool-like taste.

Count Luie: Enter: with fanfare: bowing right and left.

First Twin:

But honor ever should be kept in view—

No spot should tarnish her encircling robe.

Count Luie (grandiloquently):

But what is honor? 'tis a slip'ry word

Which oft is used vile turpitude to hide;

She smiles on those who Mount Parnassus climb;

On those who fail, she casts disdainful frown.

O, fickle world, which kneels before success

No matter how its Idol was enthroned!

Hence, one to pow'r attain should scruple not,

For it were balm which cureth ev'ry ill.

Great Sensation

Second Twin:

Here speaks a friend of those who do aspire

To build a nation from these many isles;

His mind doth soar above all selfish thoughts;

Doubtfully

But Windbag, at the club, with honeyed tongue

Did seem to love the Filipinos well,

But when a high official his support

Did need, rumor doth says, a scowling face

He turned upon him, and he e'en did threat

That prosecution might be his stern fate;

And had not Francos wisely intervened

This noble Ilustrado might e'en now

Be close entombed in Bilibid!

First Twin:

But here Americanos showed their hand

And were disloyal to their bureau chief:

But had escribiente's of our race

Unseated been, then all indeed were well.

Count Luie:

But, friends, this Windbag is no Democrat—

In school Republican, he hath been trained.

That spark divine of loyalty to friends

He knoweth not, else he had Francos-like

O'erlooked with kindly eye the trifling graft

Of scheming for the welfare of his friends.

That perquisites of office do allow

Much freedom is a Democratic creed.

Second Ilustrado:

But Windbag said they know just what they want

And strongly urged that our desires be met.

Count Luie:

But friends, he like all converts new, did try

To prove his loyalty to his new creed.

Those words were only chosen to arraign

His predecessors at the homeland bar;

Thus politics doth in its various forms

Seem quite erratic to the layman's mind.

But trust in ME! I from my southern home

Have come to dwell in this God-favored land,

And when those men have hied them to their homes

I still will like a rock breast every wave

And on my judgment clear, in state affairs,

The grateful Filipinos may depend.

All

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