'A Comedy of Errors' in Seven Acts - Spokeshave (the chimp paradox TXT) 📗
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That rules the destiny of our great state.
Col Toady:
Ha, thou hast said! In all the universe,
No other souls, like these, can quick discern
Great worth combined with mental attributes
Which qualify for high official place:
When in these isles a census must be made
Their eagle eyes discerned my hiding place
And then perceiving qualities most rare
Demanded that I serve the public weal!
Sir Henmart:
And me! Hid in my happy prairie home,
They tore me thence, all for the nation's good!
Sir Windbag (striking his manly breast):
I, too, inherent qualities possess
Which caused those mental eyes to hunt me out!
Francos:
But, gentlemen, this state is honeycombed
With treason dark unto the pow'rs that be.
Even our party men, with cold disdain,
Look on our policy with covert sneer.
Some few there are who grovel in the mire,
But most deport themselves with silent mien;
These should be watched, and when the moment comes
Where opportunity her hand extends,
We should her aid accept, and lop those heads
Which placed on shoulders square with spine erect
Dare in the privacy of social life
To breathe disloyalty to us who rule.
Sir Windbag:
Ah, sire, sweet music to mine ears thy words
Do make. Within my university
Some loyal souls have in epistles sweet
Breathed loyalty. Such should the passport be.
And if this document cannot be shown
It were sure proof that in the rebel heart
Treason doth lurk and only hides its head
To firmly hold position, at our hands.
Francos:
But, Windbag, dost thou not perceive that the
Vile press, which here opinion seems to form,
Would placard on its pages with great glee
That civil service hath been swept aside?
No! we must, with the Indian's guile, our track
Cover insinuatingly, and wise.
But vigilance should be our slogan now
That we may spy out each disloyal rogue.
Col. Toady:
This civil service is a brittle shield
When pure Democracy doth wield the sword,
And were it strong, the rebel that it guards
Can be unhorsed by stabbing in the back.
Francos:
O happy thought! within my secret heart
I long have cherished it. Now to your posts—
And for the conflict buckle on the sword.
Disloyalty to Tinio avenge!
Sir Higgs:
While I'll take little part in this crusade,
Still it doth pleasure me most mightily
When I reflect that every head lopped off
Affords much joy to some good Democrat.
'Twere wise to little say unto the mob
For it each idle word will subtile twist,
But smile, and smile, yet keep the guillotine
Well oiled and ready for its cleaning work.
All sing with great gust except Sir Higgs who beats time
with a baton presented by the Secretary of War:
"We're living in a hotbed of sedition;
These "rats" have been infected by tradition.
If we can't smoke them out
And give our friends a place,
We'll plug the rat holes up
And thus we'll save our face,
Hence we must wage the battle stern and hearty;
These posts must serve as flagstaffs for our party."
All Shout:
"Hip, Hip, Hurrah! Hip, Hip, Hurrah!! Hip, Hip, Hurrah!!!
and a
Tammany Tiger!"
Old Fogy.
Ilustrados
Representatives
Count Luie
Tightwad Twins
A Band of Minstrels
Scene: A Garden Bower
A Minstrel sings:
The day hath shed its gauzy veil of light,
As evening's sable gown usurps its place.
Hear the night bird sweetly singing
While through space her way she's winging,
Melody she's gaily flinging
Peace and joy with twilight bringing
If Care's dull day, while beck'ning to the night,
Hath us depressed let Joy now show his face.
First Ilustrado:
Son of Arion, from Castalia's fount
Where melody divine doth bubble forth,
Thou must thy thirst have slaked with copious drafts
For gods alone inspire such sounds divine.
Second Gentleman of State:
'Twere well the cares of day to toss aside
And welcome evening's quiet with a smile,
But we who here in solemn conclave meet
Can squander moment few to court the Muse;
Stern duty calls, and to each patriot ear
'Tis music sweet, to which he quick responds,
Then to the council board let us repair
And these the mysteries of state evolve.
First Representative:
Time swiftly flies with heading on her wings.
From out the eastern skies where Caesar dwells,
The lightnings flash reports that should rejoice
Each loyal heart within this island realm.
Soon, senators with dignity enrobed
Will grace the halls of our enfranchised state,
And then the padlock which our lips now close
Shall like a useless toy to be cast side.
Then can we voice unto the list'ning world
Those noble aspirations long confined
Lest their frank utterance should work us ill
And closer seal the bonds which hold us fast.
For, what concessions our oppressors make,
Can never be withdrawn; and when they see
That folly prompted all, 'twill be in vain,
And we can their discomfort laugh to scorn.
Second Ilustrado:
O, for the days when under Spanish rule
Costumbre firmly anchored on her throne
Disdainfully did innovation block
Whene'er it threatened danger to our peace;
Then every tao in his wonted place
Was taught that sweet contentment with the lot
Which his creator had to him assigned
Epitome of virtue did proclaim.
But now dire discontent doth stalk abroad
And with a vitriol tongue disturbance make
Through pedagogues, imported from a land
Which recognizes not distinction wise.
First Ilustrado:
Thou hast my thoughts in happy words expressed.
When once the tao has his A B C
Well hammered in his stupid mulelike skull
He ever looks on toil with proud disdain
And even for zapatos fondly yearns,
While now that Francos hath the fashion set
By proclamation as he neared our isles
These callow youths may covet stove pipe hats.
Second Ilustrado:
Alas, I fear these happy days when we
Can loll in cooling shades while others toil
For us, on stipends which like widow's mite
Are small: will in the future disappear.
These men who prate of slavery in these isles
Do know full well that witness false they bear.
We buy not souls and on the record place
Their names among the chattels which we own,
But their life's labor for a certain sum
We purchase, when in times of sorry stress
They fain prefer it thus, rather than starve;
But slavery! The Orient knows it not.
Third Ilustrado:
And usury! 'Tis an offensive word:
Our enemies, like arrow from the bow,
Are aiming it to pierce our very heart
While 'tis a practice which costumbre shields.
The slothful servant, so the Good Book says,
Was he who in a napkin hid his gold;
But he who shrewdly other talents made
The Master praised, and to him also gave
The unused talent which he wisely took
From him who slothfully no effort made
To double that which in his care was placed,
And thus by usury much wealth amass;
Yet the Americanos from this learn
No wisdom, but forthwith condemn
The teachings of the Savior of Mankind
Which we with thrift and energy apply.
First Ilustrado:
And so again the Bible aptly says
That he who careth for his family not
Is worse than he who infidelity
Doth to his breast with loving arms enfold.
Second Representative:
Alas, 'tis innovation they enthrone
Within the halls of science where they steal
Our trusty dogs to torture in the name
Of progress, while our hearts indignant burn.
First Ilustrado:
Again, in terms opprobrious they mouth
Anent our noble elevating sport
Where our illustrious citizens do meet
And in the cockpit spend a happy hour.
Third Representative:
And while we read that patriarchs of old
Did revel in the arms of beauty fair,
But now when we queridas do embrace
Like lions caged Americanos roar:
Our customs sacred made by hand of time
Are most irrev'rent treated by these men.
O, for the day when Spain did rule supreme,
For they, the "haughty Dons," did sympathize
With us in taste, and in our native sports
Joined with a hearty zest which proved them men;
But now, where'er we turn, obstacles rise
To curb and mar, until our lives seem drear.
Second Gentleman of the State:
Alas, our beardless youths seem satisfied
With club in hand to pass at fleeting ball
Or chase it, monkey-like, in open field
Thus throwing dignity unto the winds.
First Twin:
And those who from the hand of Boreas filched
Congealment's art, which did dinero put
Within their well filled purse, as day by day
They fattened on the appetites of those
Who loved a cooling draft more than the pelf
Which is alas the seed that germinates
To form a mighty tree which time enfruits
With greed which sours the eager mouth it feeds.
We did a statute draw with cunning hand
To guard this enterprise of worthy aim,
But now the enemy hath broke our guard
And Ice a gold mine now no longer is;
Hence we must hedge our various rights about
With laws, as soon as Jones hath made his play.
No Filipino hunts the hills for gold.
Americanos show this vulgar greed,
And so we'll tax them: tax them till they squeal!
Then they may in disgust depart this land,
While we, just for a song, may gobble up
The claims which they so long uncertain sought.
Second Twin:
Francos is honest, hence were easy fooled;
But we suspicion in his mind must plant.
We are but few who hold the purse strings here,
And union sweet: we to our aid must call
Those who have tarried long within our walls.
The saints, be praised, are weak and pow'rless now,
For Francos stubbornly disdains them all,
And hence our scheming he will ne'er discern.
First Twin:
Well said: the vultures which are nested here
Have eyes that cat-like pierce the deepest shades,
And were these men in high official place
'Twere vain attempt to work our deep laid plans.
First Ilustrado:
We long have profit made from rentals high
And quiet sat, while, like the cormorant
We gulped sweet morsels from their quiv'ring flesh;
But soon we must their very forms devour.
First Representative:
But we must ever wear engaging smile
While poisoned chalice off'ring to their lips;
Hence we should caution woo, lest she doth warn
Him who the offered cup would fool-like taste.
Count Luie: Enter: with fanfare: bowing right and left.
First Twin:
But honor ever should be kept in view—
No spot should tarnish her encircling robe.
Count Luie (grandiloquently):
But what is honor? 'tis a slip'ry word
Which oft is used vile turpitude to hide;
She smiles on those who Mount Parnassus climb;
On those who fail, she casts disdainful frown.
O, fickle world, which kneels before success
No matter how its Idol was enthroned!
Hence, one to pow'r attain should scruple not,
For it were balm which cureth ev'ry ill.
Great Sensation
Second Twin:
Here speaks a friend of those who do aspire
To build a nation from these many isles;
His mind doth soar above all selfish thoughts;
Doubtfully
But Windbag, at the club, with honeyed tongue
Did seem to love the Filipinos well,
But when a high official his support
Did need, rumor doth says, a scowling face
He turned upon him, and he e'en did threat
That prosecution might be his stern fate;
And had not Francos wisely intervened
This noble Ilustrado might e'en now
Be close entombed in Bilibid!
First Twin:
But here Americanos showed their hand
And were disloyal to their bureau chief:
But had escribiente's of our race
Unseated been, then all indeed were well.
Count Luie:
But, friends, this Windbag is no Democrat—
In school Republican, he hath been trained.
That spark divine of loyalty to friends
He knoweth not, else he had Francos-like
O'erlooked with kindly eye the trifling graft
Of scheming for the welfare of his friends.
That perquisites of office do allow
Much freedom is a Democratic creed.
Second Ilustrado:
But Windbag said they know just what they want
And strongly urged that our desires be met.
Count Luie:
But friends, he like all converts new, did try
To prove his loyalty to his new creed.
Those words were only chosen to arraign
His predecessors at the homeland bar;
Thus politics doth in its various forms
Seem quite erratic to the layman's mind.
But trust in ME! I from my southern home
Have come to dwell in this God-favored land,
And when those men have hied them to their homes
I still will like a rock breast every wave
And on my judgment clear, in state affairs,
The grateful Filipinos may depend.
All
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