The 'she' Recovered: Part II - S. Mariah (e book reader android txt) 📗

A new life is birthing out..…

The ‘chubby’ boots...The super ‘large’ tees…..The super ‘wide legs’ jeans….The ‘spiky’ hairstyle are diminishing in Alice over time. Someone must have swung a magical wand on her??? Her ‘damaged self-image’ is gone, no longer to be seen!!! Thanks to the one who did it! In Part I as you know, Alice had been beholding the ‘damaged’ self-image for just so long, time for her release indeed. Her act of mimicking her favourite male singer was also fading away and something ‘new’ is giving birth inside her - the ‘brand new’ self. She discovered more of her true self and surely the ‘forgiving part’ towards her dad was a great deal and played a significant role in her, not only she felt the burden has been taken down, but also she could feel like a ‘new’ Alice for the very first time.

The memory was still fresh that she recalled the scene of herself punching the pillow for more than an hour, her fists eventually got hurt and the physical pain lasted her for days, the screaming that came directly from her deepest groaning almost took her breath away! Thanks be to God that she finally realised how much she’s loved by her Creator God - ‘beauty for ashes’ and yes, ‘beauty for ashes and this is what my Creator God has done for me. Sometimes, things have to get ugly before it turns into a beautiful thing! Just Imagine for a while, the process of making a stunned-looking vase - It was simply a batch of clay at the start, molded by the potter’s hands and before the clay takes shape into a vase, it has to endure and persevere in the great heat, more like getting trapped in a furnace being heated for a relatively long time and without this heated process, the vase will not even come into shaped. So eventually, after much suffering comes the ‘stunningly most beautiful” vase.

Alice’s dad - the ‘absent’ dad that she used to call him is no longer alive. Alice stopped commenting or thinking her dad so badly - wow, ‘forgiving others’ is indeed a serious business for our health. Once we are able to forgive those who have hurt us, we let go of that particular pain and kiss it a PERMANENT good-bye. It won’t come back and trigger our emotions again. Learning to forgive is therefore a great deal for many and as hard as it might seem, but who loves to carry lots of past baggage? Don’t you love to throw them away some day and be totally free in your mind and spirit?? Which is a better way? Learning to forgive and let go and holding grudges against those who have hurt or harmed you in the past?? You know the better way and I am sure.

Since then Alice’s dad had been returning home from overseas more often because his business was doing great. Alice and her dad could get to know each other more...on one occasion, her dad held her hands crossing the street and she felt so overjoyed with this very first intimate relationship with her dad, only by holding hands she was already overjoyed and yes! It’s a very special time for her and her dad. For many, it’s just something common between the father and daughter relationship. Nothing should surprise you with such a simple act of love and care. Not so with Alice, his gesture of love simply melts her heart and washes away all the hatred she had felt for years towards her dad. For the very first time, she could nod to herself that Alice is a ‘she’ and not a he anymore and she is a true ‘daughter’ to her dad and also to her Heavenly Father. Her dad’s love has warmed her heart like a blanket enveloped her in winter time. Her relationship with dad has never been better and refreshing like now.

Some more changes that amazed this ‘Alice’ in the wonderland? The list was actually unending….her life changes continues on...Oh yes, Alice still recalled the most amazingly crazy feeling in the hair salon - Oh, what about the hair salon experience? Hmmm..I forgot to mention, Alice’s hair started to grow longer and longer without her cursing it - she used to curse herself to be a girl, hate herself to death and that includes her hair, she would definitely cut her hair ridiculously short so to stop it reaching down to her ears and cover them. She literally treated her hair as her own enemy, she would do whatever to block the growth!!! She dyed her hair in white or other colours just to make herself look weirder and weirder...By the way her hair isn’t her only enemy but also the mirror - mirror is an absolute stranger to her that she will never permit herself to have any eye-contact at all. Still there will be times she has to bump into this stranger, and she would simply bypass it quickly and wouldn’t look at it for more than 5 seconds! Never!

Looking back, Alice had been carrying that broken image of herself for just so long and aren’t you glad for her magical wand type of release?! The femininity in Alice just oozing out ever so naturally now...She looked intently at herself in the ‘stranger’ for the first time in her life, “Wow” she exclaimed amazingly. She gazed herself a second time in the ‘stranger’ and started to smile, this girl in front of me was indeed ME! What a girl!! This almost took her breath away, that miraculous-looking girl right in front of her! Her hair was way past her shoulders, there’s no sign of her ears that she could peek into for a brief look. “Unbelievable, is that really my real image at all?” her mouth was wide-opened in balloon-shaped. In all her amazement, she was stricken by the gentle ‘male’’s hands behind her back - her hair was handled with such great care that her long hair got a nice first class blow-dry and cut. The hairdresser spoke softly to her and asked what hairstyle she would like to have with her long hair. That feeling got her goosebumps as she has never experienced anything like this before. Most hairdressers in the past treated her hair rather roughly as the hair was just so short by the way, simply shred it all off her head, this is it!! Her usual spiky hairstyle wouldn’t take much time to get done by the way. You reckon??!LOL!!

What an experience? She felt like a princess or a VIP being served on the plane for first class service! She felt her femininity oozing out again from top to bottom, enveloping her with great sense of purpose and life meaning. She also nodded herself once more that she is indeed a precious jewel to her Creator God. She might not yet be anyone’s jewel, she is definitely one with God. Mind you, when you read till the very end of Alice’s story. She is already married with a Godly man after God’s own heart. She is indeed someone’s precious jewel. Hallelujah.

And yes, ‘Alice’ is hand-crafted to be a beautiful girl in the eyes of her Creator! She is ever so special in her heavenly Father’s eyes. In truth, we are all special and unique in many ways, believe it or not. You cannot find someone exactly like you. You are a ‘special’ You. Just like Alice in the story, she was so blinded to see the real ‘her’, she rejected and cursed herself so much in the past, she failed to realised she is so loved by her Creator God, she didn’t see her true ‘worth’ and think she didn’t deserve anything good at all. By knowing her true image is founded by her loving Father God is the beginning of her new birth, her new life journey….She also acknowledged that this God, her Creator God has never left her alone in all her struggling years when she was living in her ‘wonderland’ wandering and struggling. ‘Beauty for Ashes’ - God is her Potter and She is simply the Clay.

It seemed her life was wasted for long time - all her childhood, teenage years and early-adulthood all because she pretended someone she was not (act, think and dress like a boy); her refusal to accept her own identity as a female; cursed herself to death that she had lived a life full of condemnation and confusion. Thank God for restoring her true identity and giving her a new sense of worth, with a purpose and meaning. The broken image is no longer hers. How about your life? Is your life well so far? Are you confused? Do you have a habit of commenting yourself harshly or negatively? Is your self-image healthy?

Cheer up! We all have a good purpose and meaning in life. You might not realise it now, but soon you will! Alice’s experience is just one of the many miraculous testimonies in Christian community. You can be included in this amazing experience if only you trust the God who created you. Alice’s story doesn’t end here, she has already got married and been living happily with her husband in Australia.

More to come in Part III, you can expect to read more miraculous changes in Alice’s life and her learning journey of the ‘new’ and ‘true’ self also. Moving away from her long-term deception will take time and there’s a lot of ups and downs along the way for sure. She would be a liar if she said she has never experienced the ups and downs in her walk with God. The focus is in fact on God not on all of us. God is the Almighty God, He is able to come and help us in our weaknesses. We simply ask God for help and He will come and rescue us. Drawing the strengths from God is a crucial part of Alice’s victory, she cannot overcome evil by her own strength but God’s, she cannot change herself but only God.

So, I invite you to join Alice’s learning journey in Part III soon. “Life is indeed an ongoing learning curve, never ending” - her ‘new’ life has officially birthed out, Oh how glad and how thankful is she. All praises, glories and honour belong to my Creator God, Amen.

Publication Date: 09-11-2020

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Dedication:
Her wounded self-image is recovered..... Would you join Alice for her transforming life journey again?