Life of St Teresa of Jesus - Teresa of Avila (classic books for 11 year olds TXT) 📗
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enough to understand its state, be the books ever so clear.
11. I wish much that our Lord would help me to describe the
effects on the soul of these things, now that they begin to be
supernatural, so that men might know by these effects whether
they come from the Spirit of God. I mean, known as things are
known here below—though it is always well to live in fear, and
on our guard; for even if they do come from God, now and then the
devil will be able to transform himself into an angel of
light; [4] and the soul, if not experienced herein, will not
understand the matter; and it must have so much experience for
the understanding thereof, that it is necessary it should have
attained to the highest perfection of prayer.
12. The little time I have helps me but little, and it is
therefore necessary His Majesty should undertake it Himself; for
I have to live in community, and have very many things to employ
me, as I am in a house which is newly founded—as will appear
hereafter; [5] and so I am writing, with very many interruptions,
by little and little at a time. I wish I had leisure; for when
our Lord gives the spirit, it is more easily and better done; it
is then as with a person working embroidery with the pattern
before her; but if the spirit be wanting, there is no more
meaning in the words than in gibberish, so to speak, though many
years may have been spent in prayer. And thus I think it a very
great advantage to be in this state of prayer when I am writing
this; for I see clearly that it is not I who speak, nor is it I
who with her understanding has arranged it; and afterwards I do
not know how I came to speak so accurately. [6] It has often
happened to me thus.
13. Let us now return to our orchard, or flower-garden, and
behold now how the trees begin to fill with sap for the bringing
forth of the blossoms, and then of the fruit—the flowers and the
plants, also, their fragrance. This illustration pleases me; for
very often, when I was beginning—and our Lord grant that I have
really begun to serve His Majesty—I mean, begun in relation to
what I have to say of my life,—it was to me a great joy to
consider my soul as a garden, and our Lord as walking in it.
I used to beseech Him to increase the fragrance of the little
flowers of virtues—which were beginning, as it seemed to
bud—and preserve them, that they might be to His glory; for I
desired nothing for myself. I prayed Him to cut those He liked,
because I already knew that they would grow the better.
14. I say cut; for there are times in which the soul has no
recollection of this garden—everything seems parched, and there
is no water to be had for preserving it—and in which it seems as
if the soul had never possessed any virtue at all. This is the
season of heavy trials; for our Lord will have the poor gardener
suppose all the trouble he took in maintaining and watering the
garden to have been taken to no purpose. Then is the time really
for weeding and rooting out every plant, however small it may be,
that is worthless, in the knowledge that no efforts of ours are
sufficient, if God withholds from us the waters of His grace; and
in despising ourselves as being nothing, and even less than
nothing. In this way we gain great humility—the flowers
grow afresh.
15. O my Lord and my Good! I cannot utter these words without
tears, and rejoicing in my soul; for Thou wilt be thus with us,
and art with us, in the Sacrament. We may believe so most truly;
for so it is, and the comparison I make is a great truth; and, if
our sins stand not in the way, we may rejoice in Thee, because
Thou rejoicest in us; for Thou hast told us that Thy delight is
to be with the children of men. [7] O my Lord, what does it
mean? Whenever I hear these words, they always give me great
consolation, and did so even when I was most wicked.
16. Is it possible, 0 Lord, that there can be a soul which, after
attaining to this state wherein Thou bestowest upon it the like
graces and consolations, and wherein it understands that Thou
delightest to be with it, can yet fall back and offend Thee after
so many favours, and such great demonstrations of the love Thou
bearest it, and of which there cannot be any doubt, because the
effect of it is so visible? Such a soul there certainly is; for
I have done so, not once, but often. May it please Thy goodness,
O Lord, that I may be alone in my ingratitude—the only one who
has committed so great an iniquity, and whose ingratitude has
been so immeasurable! But even out of my ingratitude Thine
infinite goodness has brought forth some good; and the greater my
wickedness, the greater the splendour of the great mercy of Thy
compassions. Oh, what reasons have I to magnify them for ever!
17. May it be so, I beseech Thee, O my God, and may I sing of
them for ever, now that Thou hast been pleased to show mercies so
great unto me that they who see them are astonished, mercies
which draw me out of myself continually, that I may praise Thee
more and more! for, remaining in myself, without Thee, I could do
nothing, O my Lord, but be as the withered flowers of the garden;
so that this miserable earth of mine becomes a heap of refuse, as
it was before. Let it not be so, O Lord!—let not a soul which
Thou hast purchased with so many labours be lost, one which Thou
hast so often ransomed anew, and delivered from between the teeth
of the hideous dragon!
18. You, my father, must forgive me for wandering from the
subject; and, as I am speaking to the purpose I have in view, you
must not be surprised. What I write is what my soul has
understood; and it is very often hard enough to abstain from the
praises of God when, in the course of writing, the great debt I
owe Him presents itself before me. Nor do I think that it can be
disagreeable to you; because both of us, I believe, may sing the
same song, though in a different way; for my debt is much the
greater, seeing that God has forgiven me more, as you, my
father, know.
1. 2 Cor. v. 14: “Charitas enim Christi urget nos.”
2. See ch. xvii. § 12; Way of Perfection, ch. liii., but xxxi. of
the old editions.
3. See Relation, i. § 12.
4. 2 Cor. xi. 14: “Ipse enim Satanas transfigurat se in
angelum lucis.”
5. See ch. x. § 11. As that passage refers probably to the
monastery of the Incarnation, this must refer to that of
St. Joseph, newly founded in Avila; for that of the Incarnation
was founded a short time before the Saint was born; and she could
hardly say of it, now that she was at least in her forty-seventh
year, that it was newly founded. The house, however, was poor;
for she says, ch. xxxii. § 12, that the nuns occasionally quitted
the monastery for a time, because of its poverty.
6. See ch. xviii. § 10. In the second Report of the Rota,
477—quoted by Benedict XIV., De Canoniz. iii. 26, n. 12, and
by the Bollandists in the Acta, 1315—we have these words, and
they throw great light on the text: “Sunt et alli testes de visu
affirmantes quod quando beata Teresa scribebat libros, facies
ejus resplendebat.” In the information taken in Granada, the
Mother Anne of the Incarnation says she saw the Saint one night,
while writing the Fortress of the Soul, with her face shining;
and Mary of St. Francis deposes to the same effect in the
informations taken in Medina (De la Fuente,
vol. ii. pp. 389, 392).
7. Prov. viii. 31: “Deliciæ meæ esse cum filiis hominum.”
Chapter XV.
Instructions for Those Who Have Attained to the Prayer of Quiet.
Many Advance So Far, but Few Go Farther.
1. Let us now go back to the subject. This quiet and
recollection of the soul makes itself in great measure felt in
the satisfaction and peace, attended with very great joy and
repose of the faculties, and most sweet delight, wherein the soul
is established. [1] It thinks, because it has not gone beyond
it, that there is nothing further to wish for, but that its abode
might be there, and it would willingly say so with St. Peter. [2]
It dares not move nor stir, because it thinks that this blessing
it has received must then escape out of its hands; now and then,
it could wish it did not even breathe. [3] The poor little soul
is not aware that, as of itself it could do nothing to draw down
this blessing on itself, it is still less able to retain it a
moment longer than our Lord wills it should remain.
2. I have already said that, in the prior recollection and
quiet, [4] there is no failure of the powers of the soul; but the
soul is so satisfied in God that, although two of its powers be
distracted, yet, while the recollection lasts, as the will abides
in union with God, so its peace and quiet are not disturbed; on
the contrary, the will by degrees brings the understanding and
the memory back again; for though the will is not yet altogether
absorbed, it continues still occupied without knowing how, so
that, notwithstanding all the efforts of the memory and the
understanding, they cannot rob it of its delight and
joy [5]—yea, rather, it helps without any labour at all to keep
this little spark of the love of God from being quenched.
3. Oh, that His Majesty would be gracious unto me, and enable me
to give a clear account of the matter; for many are the souls who
attain to this state, and few are they who go farther: and I know
not who is in fault; most certainly it is not God; for when His
Majesty shows mercy unto a soul, so that it advances so far, I
believe that He will not fail to be more merciful still, if there
be no shortcomings on our part.
4. And it is of great importance for the soul that has advanced
so far as this to understand the great dignity of its state, the
great grace given it by our Lord, and how in all reason it should
not belong to earth; because He, of His goodness, seems to make
it here a denizen of heaven, unless it be itself in fault.
And miserable will that soul be if it turns back; it will go
down, I think so, even to the abyss, as I was going myself, if
the mercy of our Lord had not brought me back; because, for the
most part, it must be the effect of grave faults—that is my
opinion: nor is it possible to forsake so great a good otherwise
than through the blindness occasioned by much evil.
5. Therefore, for the love of our Lord, I implore those souls to
whom His Majesty has given so great a grace—the attainment of
this state—to know and make much of themselves,
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