Life of St Teresa of Jesus - Teresa of Avila (classic books for 11 year olds TXT) 📗
- Author: Teresa of Avila
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and holy presumption, in order that they may never return to the
flesh-pots of Egypt. And if through weakness and wickedness, and
a mean and wretched nature, they should fall, as I did, let them
always keep in mind the good they have lost; let them suspect and
fear—they have reason to do so—that, if they do not resume
their prayer, they may go on from bad to worse. I call that a
real fall which makes us hate the way by which so great a good
was obtained. I address myself to those souls; but I am not
saying that they will never offend God, nor fall into
sin,—though there are good reasons why those who have received
these graces should keep themselves carefully from sin; but we
are miserable creatures. What I earnestly advise is this: let
there be no giving up of prayer; it is by prayer they will
understand what they are doing, and obtain from our Lord the
grace to repent, and strength to rise again; they must believe
and believe again that, if they cease from praying, they run—so
I think—into danger. I know not if I understand what I am
saying; for, as I said before, I measure others by myself. [6]
6. The prayer of quiet, then, is a little spark of the true love
of Himself, which our Lord begins to enkindle in the soul; and
His will is, that the soul should understand what this love is by
the joy it brings. This quiet and recollection and little spark,
if it is the work of the Spirit of God, and not a sweetness
supplied by Satan, or brought about by ourselves, produces great
results. A person of experience, however, cannot possibly fail
to understand at once that it is not a thing that can be
acquired, were it not that our nature is so greedy of sweetness,
that it seeks for it in every way. But it becomes cold very
soon; for, however much we try to make the fire burn, in order to
obtain this sweetness, it does not appear that we do anything
else but throw water on it, to put it out. This spark, then,
given of God, however slight it may be, causes a great crackling;
and if men do not quench it by their faults, it is the beginning
of the great fire, which sends forth—I shall speak of it in the
proper place [7]—the flames of that most vehement love of God
which His Majesty will have perfect souls to possess.
7. This little spark is a sign or pledge which God gives to a
soul, in token of His having chosen it for great things, if it
will prepare to receive them. It is a great gift, much too great
for me to be able to speak of it. It is a great sorrow to me;
because, as I said before, [8] I know that many souls come thus
far, and that those who go farther, as they ought to go, are so
few, that I am ashamed to say it. I do not mean that they are
absolutely few: there must be many, because God is patient with
us, for some reasons; I speak of what I have seen.
8. I should like much to recommend these souls to take care that
they do not hide their talent; for it may be that God has chosen
them to be the edification of many others, especially in these
days, when the friends of God should be strong, in order that
they may support the weak. Those who discern in themselves this
grace, must look upon themselves as such friends, if they would
fulfil the law which even the honourable friendship of the world
respects; if not, as I said just now, [9] let them fear and
tremble, lest they should be doing mischief to themselves—and
God grant it be to themselves only!
9. What the soul has to do at those seasons wherein it is raised
to the prayer of quiet is nothing more than to be gentle and
without noise. By noise, I mean going about with the
understanding in search of words and reflections whereby to give
God thanks for this grace, and heaping up its sins and
imperfections together to show that it does not deserve it.
All this commotion takes place now, and the understanding comes
forward, and the memory is restless, and certainly to me these
powers bring much weariness at times; for, though my memory is
not strong, I cannot control it. Let the will quietly and wisely
understand that it is not by dint of labour on our part that we
can converse to any good purpose with God, and that our own
efforts are only great logs of wood, laid on without discretion
to quench this little spark; and let it confess this, and in
humility say, O Lord, what can I do here? what has the servant to
do with her Lord, and earth with heaven? or words of love that
suggest themselves now, firmly grounded in the conviction that
what it says is truth; and let it make no account of the
understanding, which is simply tiresome.
10. And if the will wishes to communicate to the understanding
any portion of that the fruition of which itself has entered on,
or if it labours to make the understanding recollected, it shall
not succeed; for it will often happen that the will is in union
and at rest, while the understanding is in extreme disorder.
It is better for it to leave it alone, and not to run after it—I
am speaking of the will; for the will should abide in the
fruition of that grace, recollected itself, like the prudent bee;
for if no bees entered the hive, and each of them wandered abroad
in search of the rest, the honey would hardly be made. In the
same way, the soul will lose much if it be not careful now,
especially if the understanding be acute; for when it begins to
make reflections and search for reasons, it will think at once
that it is doing something if its reasons and reflections
are good.
11. The only reason that ought to be admitted now is to
understand clearly that there is no reason whatever, except His
mere goodness, why God should grant us so great a grace, and to
be aware that we are so near Him, and to pray to His Majesty for
mercies, to make intercession for the Church, for those who had
been recommended to us, and for the souls in purgatory,—not,
however, with noise of words, but with a heartfelt desire to be
heard. This is a prayer that contains much, and by it more is
obtained than by many reflections of the understanding. Let the
will stir up some of those reasons, which proceed from reason
itself, to quicken its love, such as the fact of its being in a
better state, and let it make certain acts of love, as what it
will do for Him to whom it owes so much,—and that, as I said
just now, without any noise of the understanding, in the search
after profound reflections. A little straw,—and it will be less
than straw, if we bring it ourselves,—laid on with humility,
will be more effectual here, and will help to kindle a fire more
than many fagots of most learned reasons, which, in my opinion,
will put it out in a moment.
12. This is good for those learned men who have commanded me to
write, [10] and who all, by the goodness of God, have come to
this state; for it may be that they spend the time in making
applications of passages of the Scriptures. And though learning
could not fail to be of great use to them, both before and after
prayer, still, in the very time of prayer itself, there is little
necessity for it, in my opinion, unless it be for the purpose of
making the will tepid; for the understanding then, because of its
nearness to the light, is itself illuminated; so that even I, who
am what I am, seem to be a different person. And so it is; for
it has happened to me, who scarcely understand a word of what I
read in Latin, and specially in the Psalms, when in the prayer of
quiet, not only to understand the Latin as if it were Spanish,
but, still more, to take a delight in dwelling on the meaning of
that I knew through the Spanish. We must make an exception: if
these learned men have to preach or to teach, they will do well
to take advantage of their learning, that they may help poor
people of little learning, of whom I am one. Charity is a great
thing; and so always is ministering unto souls, when done simply
for God.
13. So, then, when the soul is in the prayer of quiet, let it
repose in its rest—let learning be put on one side. The time
will come when they may make use of it in the service of our
Lord—when they that possess it will appreciate it so highly as
to be glad that they had not neglected it even for all the
treasures of the world, simply because it enables them to serve
His Majesty; for it is a great help. But in the eyes of Infinite
Wisdom, believe me, a little striving after humility, and a
single act thereof, are worth more than all the science in the
world. This is not the time for discussing, but for
understanding plainly what we are, and presenting ourselves in
simplicity before God, who will have the soul make itself as a
fool—as, indeed, it is—in His presence, seeing that His Majesty
so humbles Himself as to suffer it to be near Him, we being what
we are.
14. Moreover, the understanding bestirs itself to make its
thanksgiving in phrases well arranged; but the will, in peace,
not daring to lift up its eyes with the publican, [11] makes
perhaps a better act of thanksgiving than the understanding, with
all the tropes of its rhetoric. In a word, mental prayer is not
to be abandoned altogether now, nor even vocal prayer, if at any
time we wish, or can, to make use of either of them; for if the
state of quiet be profound, it becomes difficult to speak, and it
can be done only with great pain.
15. I believe myself that we know whether this proceeds from the
Spirit of God, or is brought about by endeavours of our own, in
the commencement of devotion which God gives; and we seek of
ourselves, as I said before, [12] to pass onwards to this quiet
of the will. Then, no effect whatever is produced; it is quickly
over, and aridity is the result. If it comes from Satan, the
practised soul, in my opinion, will detect it, because it leaves
trouble behind, and scant humility and poor dispositions for
those effects which are wrought if it comes from God; it leaves
neither light in the understanding nor steadiness in
the truth. [13]
16. Here Satan can do little or no harm, if the soul directs unto
God the joy and sweetness it then feels; and if it fixes the
thoughts and desires on Him, according to the advice already
given, the devil can gain nothing whatever—on the contrary, by
the permission of God, he will lose much by that very joy which
he causes in the soul, because that joy will help the soul,
inasmuch as it thinks the joy comes from God, to betake itself
often to
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