Sonali's Suitors - Bharati Rose (best pdf ebook reader for android TXT) 📗

Sonali’s Suitors: Chapter Three

I walked into my room once again and slumped into a chair that stood facing the laptop screen. I clicked on the button that said short-listed matches and pulled up the profiles of those 10 guys my mom had hand-picked for me to consider.

I vowed to look at their faces last because of my fear that seeing them would sway my conviction of rejecting them. Some faces just had that capacity to draw you in by a subtle smile or deeply expressive eyes. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t have got the number of responses I had if it weren’t for my mother putting up a picture of me in a green beaded silk sari with a rose snugly tucked into my braid. I don’t particularly like that photo because I don’t generally dress up like that and it feels too fake. A guy should want to marry me even after having seen me in sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt.

I had only worn a sari and braided my hair on that particular occasion on the request of my cousin and best friend. I fondly call him Neelu when I’m happy or moti when I get angry. He’s a bit on the chubbier side. His full name is Neelakanthan Naresh Iyer. I had the affection of everyone in his household, especially my aunt Mahalakshmi Iyer. She’s the only lady that I will let boss me around, with a bright smile. Since she and her son had demanded that I dress like a girl for once in my life, especially at Neelu’s wedding, I surrendered. Or else, as Neelu had threatened, I would not be invited or even allowed into the banquet hall. He had imposed a dress code he warned.

I had challenged him that I would wear a black tie and suit after cropping my head to the nape, so that he wouldn’t recognize me and see his stupid wedding. He only laughed and wringing my hand behind my back, told me that if I ready did come like that to the ceremony his bride-to-be would leave him and marry me, and then he would definitely go to jail on charges of murdering me. He always did say I would be one good-looking guy. To prove it he used to draw moustaches on me from black soot while I slept soundly as a child.

Touching balled fists to my forehead in a sign of repenting for my sins, I reluctantly gave in. To tell you the truth he had me relenting when he asked me initially itself. I just liked to annoy him. His friendship and mine spanned our entire childhood. Or more appropriately worded my childhood and his adolescent period. Our relationship was more of a brother and sister bond, always elbowing each other in the stomach and cracking stupid jokes. They were only funny to us.
I began to read the contents of the first profile.

Profile No 1:
Viraj Sukumaaran
Age: 28
Education: CGA, B.Com
Occupation: CRA Taxation Auditor
Origin: Pallakadu, Kerala
Place of residence: GTA, Canada

Description of bride:
We are looking for a homely young woman with good cultural values, good-looking, educated and simple. She should be able to cook relatively well and maintain a household effectively. After marriage the bride will be expected to live in a joint family and stay at home as a homemaker. If you can abide by these expectations please contact us via the matrimonial bureau website.

I was slightly confused. How was a guy who came from Kerala listed on a Tamil matrimonial website? I guess he must be one of those Tamil people who settled in Kerala. Can’t they find a good malayalee girl for him then? Who knew whether he could speak Tamil at all? I recall my father saying that the dialects were not much different in any case though. So I guess I wouldn’t have much of an argument there.

He was five years my senior. I didn’t like that either. If he was so much older than me he would definitely try to dominate in the marriage. At least that’s the vibe I get from the description of the desired bride anyways. In times when couples have broken into nuclear families the condition of having to live in a joint family is peculiar. Nonetheless, I applaud their unity if it was a bondage formed by love, unlike others that stay in such families because they are expected to in their traditional societies. However, I would never be able to imagine living in such a family, I valued my individual freedom too much. No doubt if I entered their house as a daughter-law, I’d have to tell them even when I went out to buy some personal things.

His occupation did not seem pleasing at all. I used to have a professor who taught be corporate and personal taxation when I was doing my undergraduate. I absolutely hate tax. He was a whiz at taxation though, but bit of an odd ball. I remember him telling me that when he would go to audit public companies, they would give him his own personal office room and never voluntarily approach him once he was there. Whether he was ugly or handsome, coloured or Caucasian, and male or female did not matter, they just did not want to be associated with him. The proof of that was when he came outside to get some coffee and he wasn’t sure how to operate the expresso machine. Despite asking an employee nearby all he got was a shrug, even though the dude obviously had a cup of piping hot espresso in his hands. I don’t ever want to be ostracized simply based on what I do for a living. I had a slight feeling that he’d dump the tension of being disliked at work at home.

Lastly I moved my attention to the photo affixed to the upper-left hand corner of the page. I had tears in my eyes from laughing. These people were obviously fibbing. This guy looked close to 40 years old at least. He was nearly balding and had on glasses that looked to be the size of very thick bottle caps. Were my parents seriously considering him? If I left the selection up to them, I was a goner for sure. All the conditions these people had. Which girl would want to stay at home her entire day cooking and cleaning for not prince charming but Rumpelstiltskin. Except if you wanted a loaded groom, he definitely had wealth. I couldn’t marry for security alone like some girls.

Hence, Profile Number one, Viraj Sukumaaran was officially rejected. They should call him Virus. I still could not stop smiling.

Profile # 2
Srinivasan Iyer
Age: 26
Education: MSc in engineering
Occupation: Site Engineer
Residence: Brampton, Ontario

Description of Bride:

I am seeking a bride who has a good educational background and is fluent in English. She should be comfortable with me working odd shifts as per the requirements of my job. If you’re interested, call me at the number below to arrange a face-to-face meeting. I do not want to make my decision based on a profile alone. Thank you for your responses.
Contact number: (647) 976-4233

It appeared to me that Mr. Srinivasan Iyer was a straight-shooter. Worded differently, what you saw was what you got. He was bold and blunt. I admired people that could be that way. However, people who were that blunt could easily injure others.

I remember I had a physics teacher once who had a child like him. He would never hide his opinion of you, even if he could have spared your feelings by not sharing it openly. One time a classmate of mine had gone up to him and told him how intelligent he seemed. He said he was sorry he couldn’t say the same thing about her and moved away. The girl stood there dumbstruck and near tears after he said those words. My heart went out to her. Although I knew she was none too bright and had excessive acne grazing her forehead, she was the sweetest girl someone could ever meet. I don’t know why this guy reminded me of Mr. Darcy, but he did, and Mr. Darcy was my least favourite character in Pride and Prejudice. I may be making false assumptions about this individual here, but I had already convinced myself that no one was going to gain my approval.

I turned my attention to his photograph. He was the average Joe. He was not particularly hard on the eyes, but he was no Ryan Reynolds either. I wasn’t looking for a dashing groom so he would qualify. I proceeded to more closely inspect the picture. He had good skin, and a very sharp nose. His eyes were a hazel color. He looked distinguished with his brand name specs and dark blazer. The only problem with the photo was the missing smile. I could not understand people who did not smile even for pictures. He immediately got on my nerves.

Srinivasan Iyer was a goner. His application has been hereby denied because of his bluntness and inability to offer up a smile in photographs.

Profile #3
Govind Srivastav Iyer
Age: 24
Education: Bachelor’s Degree in Information Technology
Occupation: Research in Motion Research Analyst
Residence: Downtown Toronto, Ontario
Hobbies: Traveling, hiking, mountain biking


Description of bride:

Looking for someone who shares my passion for travelling around the world and engaging in adventurous activities. I would appreciate someone who has the capacity to assist me in generating work-related ideas. The person on the whole should be, fun-loving, humorous, modern, adventurous and good-looking. If you can fulfill these expectations please contact me immediately. I’d love to meet you!

Here was the direct opposite of Mr.Darcy. I personally loved the idea of travelling, especially since I longed to visit the canals of Venice, but that did not mean I could live an entire life travelling. I was a huge fan of the creations that RIM launched but what ideas could I give him. It made me think the guy was quite lazy himself. I had my own studies to attend to, and didn’t intend on doing another nitwit’s job at the same time. I was terrible at multi-tasking. Whoever raised the bar saying that women could do everything simultaneously, I curse you with eleven children, a naggy spouse, and always intervening elders. Let’s see how effectively you can conquer your household and bring about world peace then. If some woman proves me wrong, I’ll be more than happy to touch their feet and pay my respects. My argument however, is that Govind expects too much, and I’m no superwoman.

Looking at his picture revealed that Govind was a good-looking guy. He was definitely built and he looked great in his tracksuit, posing beside a mountain bike. It was too bad that I had already made up my mind about rejecting him, Govind, the travelling analyst. I wondered if this guy was into social service too. It would be nice if he was. I knew there was similar name, Govinda, “the cow finder”. I imagined him in pastures moving the cows with a twig in his hand, and a cloth wrapped around his forehead to protect his head from the sun rays. I laughed contemplating the image. My mom always told me that if I didn’t study well, she’d send me to India and have me run after cow herds, and pat cow