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As I looked out the window I could tell my older brother was trying to tell me something. As I got older I mastered the task of selective hearing. I hardly ever heard him anymore and it made these stupid family trips that much more bearable. Sweat was beading on my fore-head as I watched the green growth pass by out my window. My mother and father were up front arguing about which way to go.
All of a sudden Brady, my older brother, kicked me. I shot a look at him and whispered, just loud enough so he could hear me but not to disturb my parents, “If you kick me again I’ll tell dad everything. Don’t push me.” And then I glanced back at our parents who were still immersed in the road map.
Brady grumbled under his breath at me and looked out his window.
Jerk, I thought.
It’s the annual family road trip. We leave for an entire month and rent a cabin on the edge of Lake Superior. Where the days were hot and the night sky starry. I hated this month. It seemed like every time we went all we ever did was cook out and swim. This is my parents idea of family time even though it’s often my father standing at the grill with my older brother and my mother, and me walking alone on the beach to pass the time by.
We were getting close, even more imminent by the large over growth surrounding both sides of the road. I looked over at my brother who was still sulking about what I had said earlier, keeping his eyes glued to the scenery outside of his window. I leaned my head against the door and tried with all of my will power to fall asleep. We still had a half an hour left and I wasn’t just going to waste it.

***

Brady and I used to be really close. We live in a small town and we shared a lot of the same friends. Where ever I or Brady went the other tagged along. But lately things have changed by my new found attitude and the friends to go with it.
I used to be a cheerleader and on the girls softball team. With all the medals I won from various things my mother found it very easy to brag about me. Brady didn’t mind because he won just as many medals and letters for his varsity jacket. Most people would think we were the perfect little family. We both got good grades. My mother was an active volunteer for the Community Center and my father had a good job working for a paper company. But as most people tell you, you should never judge a book by its cover.
My father got promoted and we moved to a slightly bigger town and by then I was itching for a chance to become someone I wasn’t. To have a make-over. The only thing is, it was a lot harder to make friends and start over then I thought. So, the people that did talk to me were the burn-outs. You know that group that skips lunch and you can always see them by their cars smoking cigarettes and other things not worth mentioning? Yea, that’s where I ended up.
People naturally like to gossip. It’s in their genes. So people talked. I’ve heard some of the rumors but the latest one is that I undergo kidney transplant and am wasting my newly saved life. No, I did not undergo surgery of any kind. What if you were so sick of being that perfect little family? Everyone has secrets.
My mother seems to think that there is something wrong with me. Truth is, I’m depressed. I feel nothing when my “friends” talk to me in school. If you can even call them that. They don’t call. They don’t text. They don’t even Facebook me. I’m just another person to take up space in their minds.
I picked up smoking when my closest friend got me hooked onto it. She told me that it calms her nerves. If it would help the anxiety and depression I had I’d try it. And I did. I’ve gotten myself addicted.
This trip was going to be the worst part of my summer. Not only am I forced to be stuck with ‘the perfect little family’ but I didn’t even fit in with them anymore.
We finally pulled up to the cabin. It was the size of any normal house with paint chipped siding. The whole place looked abandoned but well-kept at the same time. The waves beyond the house about 50 yards were just loud enough to hear in the drive way. The sky was a light blue with only a few clouds dotting here and there. The wind was blowing softly, but at the same time enough to cool us down.
I walked over to my bags in the back of the extended cab truck and followed my mother inside. I walked up to the room I’ve had since I was 8 and just like always everything still looked the same. The same fake wood on the walls and the smell of stale air and dust. I opened my window up wide and the breeze was perfect coming straight in, like it was holding its breath for so long and is finally letting it out. I stood at the window and looked out at everything that I secretly missed.
I heard my mother walk in and she sighed. “It still looks the same. Brings back so many memories of when you were a little girl, Myra.” I turned around and looked at her. She had her hand up to her chest like she was trying to remember exactly how it used to be.
“I’m going to go for a walk mom. I’ll be back in like a half hour.” I said as I walked past her as she was still dazed looking into the room.
I walked along the beach for a little more than an hour. When I finally got back to the cabin my father was already settled in at the grill with my mother lying down on the deck with a book in her lap. The latest love story.
“Where’s Brady?” I asked. My mother looked up at me while shielding her eyes. She finally said “I’m not sure. I think he went into town to get things for smore’s tonight.” She looked back out to the water.
I walked up to my room and unpacked my things. There were only a couple suitcases of things that I brought. My laptop and a few books being among them. My mother told me to keep all electronics at home but I knew Brady and my father had both brought their cell phones and laptops. I opened my laptop and pulled up Facebook. Thank god our neighbors still had Wi-Fi. I logged in and of course no new notifications. I still had all of my old friends from my other home added as my friends. But none of my friends from my new school. All of my other friends from my other school seemed to be starting out their summers great. Updating their status’s to things that said “Pool party last night was gr8! Can’t wait until Kelly has another one <3” and “Going to Dayton’s bonfire tonight. See everyone out there.”
I missed being able to go to Kelly’s pool parties, and spending most of my summer doing nothing with people who cherished my company. It seems like everyone has taken me for granted lately.
I hurriedly shut my laptop and shoved it under my bed when I heard steps coming up the stairs. My brother entered my room as I let out an exasperated sigh. “What do you want?” I said looking at him. Brady didn’t seem like himself. He was nervously looking down at his hands and biting the corner of his lip. When he finally said “Hey.”
I replied back with “It seemed like it took a lot to work up to that one word. Think you may have something else to say?” as I showed a sly grin.
“You know what? Just forget it Myra. I thought for once you would stop acting like a bitch and help me out.” He said as he started turning away. Now I felt bad. I didn’t want to alienate the one person who I’m going to be hanging out with for the rest of the summer.
“No, wait.” I said looking down at my hands. “I’m sorry.” I looked back up to him as he stood half way in the door way and half way out like just at any second he was going to bolt. “What’s up? What do you need?” I finished.
“Are you sure? Because I can just leave and come back another time if that’s what you want.” He said smirking.
“No, it’s fine.” I said as the feeling came back to my stomach. It felt like someone just punched me in the gut.
“Well, alright.” He came in and closed the door. “I need a favor, and I’ll pay you 30 bucks if you can pull it off. Mom won’t believe me that I want to go for a walk on the beach tonight alone because that’s your thing, so I was thinking that you could say you’re coming with me.” He stopped and waited for a response. I just looked at him waiting for him to get to the point. “Well, when I went uptown today I met this girl and she invited me to a bonfire. It’s only like a half mile down the beach from us it turns out.” He started fidgeting again waiting for a response.
“So, you want me to lie to mom so you can go to a bonfire?” I asked.
“Well, that’s the thing. You can come too and I know if I ask she will say no.” He finally went still.
If I do this then he owes me I thought. Finally I said “Yea, I’ll do it.”
Brady looked at me as If I just granted him a wish. “Thanks My.” He said.
I cringed when he called me that. The last time he or anyone for that matter called me ‘My’ was my birthday. Last year.
I thought about going to the bonfire and making friends. I played with the idea and figured it was probably best if I don’t get my hopes up.
Ten O’clock rolled around and Brady started getting amped up. He was high fiving our father while watching him cook and being extremely nice to our mother. I finally told my mom I was going for a walk on the beach and Brady jumped in and said that he would go with me. I looked at mom and she gave me the approving nod.
Brady and I set out for out walk down the beach at some local’s house. The sun was just fully setting into the sky when I finally saw on the horizon a light glow. As we came closer the glow turned into being a pretty big fire with tons of people all around it. Some were crowding around a radio dancing and shaking their bodies. Others were surrounding a keg filling up plastic cups.
Brady and I just sat around the edge of the party watching when some girl with blonde curls

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