In her shell - Martina Osterndorff (new reading .TXT) 📗

After those nights abused in her uncle's basement, she closed down her body. Through all her life, she had been able to love, but after the basement love never worked physically, any more. Love turned out to be a spiritual delight like a poets' work dedicated to a lady he would never have.

Her well ordered world turned upside down when she had met Steven. He did what no man had been able to do to her in a while: he frightened her. Steven had the power like noone else to break through the shell she had so successfully built around herself. The worst of all was, that she realized she liked him. He was totally oblivious to notice her dismay thankfully.

Just the two of them happened to be sitting in the car on the way back home late one night. He had offered to drive her home after a long office day and she hadn't wanted to back down. She couldn't tell what made her climbing into his car. All she could say right now was, that she didn't feel too comfortable any more.

They didn't really talk. She still had a problem with silence between them. In her head, silence just didn't go in one sentence with Steven who normally would blow her mind, for he just couldn't shut up when absolutely everyone needed him to be silent just once. He seemed to have something about him that made it easy and sweet to talk with him. But still, he never was easy to handle. Sometimes, he would just keep on stepping on her nerves constantly and would really make her walk on thin glass. She snapped at him a few times. Normally, she never snaps. And afterwards, he used to try to be more appropriate, although that did never last long.

They say that dogs that bark don't bite. But still, she didn't want to be around Steven when he was actually not barking.

They had been in town almost all day and were now driving back to the house. It had been a nice day. She had almost felt comfortable around him all day and felt that there was something shifting inside her. It felt like she was opening up to him. But just yet, those news were too big for her to cope with.

Her state was still so fragile, that it needed little to be scattered. It happened the moment, when Steven slowed down and finally came to to a stop on a parking lot. It had a wonderful view over the whole city now glowing in the million lights of street lamps and lit apartments. “Don't you ever call me romantic or anything, I am so not.“ Steven claimed, unaware of the sudden change of air. “I just need to take my five minutes for a smoke. This place is so awesome. Just look! There is no such a thing as beautiful as the city at night.“ He sighed contently. “Don't you think?“ He opened the car window and lit a cigarette.

She smiled softly. She didn't want to freak out. But she was too aware of the fact that she was totally alone with Steven - alone with Steven in the darkness of the night in the loneliness of a parking lot somewhere in the middle of nowhere, to far away from the shining city lights down there and also still too far from the safety of her lively home on top of the hill.

Rationally, she knew, that nothing bad would happen to her. She knew Steven well enough to be sure, that he was one of the meanest posers she had meet in her life, but still, he would never hurt her willingly.

So she just smiled. “Yeah. I like that, too. It looks great.“ She didn't realize how strongly her body language was giving her away. Had she been sitting comfortably on her seat before, now she was pressed against the farthest corner, arms safely wrapped around her, her feet turned inwards.

It was too obvious for Steven not to see. He furrowed his brows.
They fell silent for a while. He didn't really know, how to treat her right now. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but failed. Finally, he succeeded in saying: “You don't have to be afraid... of me. I won't do you any harm.“ She didn't dare to look at him.

“Look, the car doors are unlocked. Try them, you can leave whenever you want.“
She just stared at him dumbly, like a deer caught in headlight, not answering.
“Try the door!“ he ordered her.
She obeyed, opened and closed the door again without difficulty. That somehow brought her back to reality. She looked around, realizing how lost she had been in her fears.
“Better?“
”Yeah.“ she felt her face growing hot. It had been a while since she had felt that embarrassed.

He extended his hand. “Come on, just take my hand.“
Her eyes grew wide.
“Nothing will happen. I won't move. Just take my hand.“
She grabbed his hand and their entwined fingers fell back on the seat. She stayed folded in her little corner of her seat, he stayed in the driver's seat looking outside, roaming eyes over the city lights.
Finally, he let his eyes flicker back to her. “Feels nice?“ He asked nonchalantly.
“Yes.“ she whispered.
And it was true.

Text: I so realized, that english is not my mother tongue. be patient and please advise me of grammar mistakes and such. thanks:). "In her shell" participates in the summer writing contest.
Publication Date: 07-07-2009

All Rights Reserved