right decesions - cristal santos (best book clubs TXT) 📗

Approximately 4,500 lives are lost every year as suicide has become the third leading cause of death for youth between the ages of 10 to 24,” I wish to continue reading but nausea stops me in mid sentence. I run into the bathroom to check my reflection, a green eyes peeking out of my bangs, pin straight black hair pulled into a ballet bun and a few strands hanging out. I hear the music downstairs pound with every word kesha sings. I fluff my bangs out and reply some lip balm. I look at myself in the full length mirror, I’m wearing black jeans and my sisters tight purple shirt with a white tank top underneath. Because I am thin not too thin but not fat just thin I have an attractive body but really who cares? I take one more look at my self and walk out downstairs to wear my sister is mingling with about 50 students surrounding her. The rest of the 12th graders are dancing to some type of peppy music, I try to tune it out and pull the sleeves over my wrist to cover the scars. My sister is making out with her boyfriend josh on the living room couch while everyone is talking dancing overall everyone smells of alcohol. I go outside to our huge backyard. Money is in our family. We have this huge mansion with a huge backyard. The only reason people used to pretend to be my friend. It’s all a fake. Our parents are off to roma for 4 months and left my sister in charge. Not a good idea. I pass everyone and head over to the lake. I sit on the dock and just stare at my reflection. All I see are sad green eyes and a tired 16 year old. Because off the obvious reason that no one was surrounding the lake and because everyone was either in the house or outside on the deck I pull my clothes off revealing my swimsuit. I don’t get in just yet so I sit on the dock just staring. Staring into the blackness. At nothing.

I get up and dive into the water. I start just floating and close my eyes to the peacefulness I was feeling. I don’t know how long I’m floating there’re but I hear a cough and look up to see someone on the dock looking at me. No not looking staring. I struggle once the shock registered that someone was staring at me. I start drowning but I don’t stop I let the water engulf me. I hear a splash next to me and think its my imagination. I cant seem to know anymore I don’t have any strength anymore. I close my eyes and black out.

I wake up to feel the dock on my back. I groan and struggle to a sitting position. I see a blue towel underneath me and breathing next to me. “What the he-“ I get cut off looking at the person next to me. He’s in my grade he is in the lacrosse team but not the obnoxious one. He the one who plays well but none notices. He’s sleeping next to me his arms on his sides. I look at his sleeping face and curse myself. “ shit I should my god how could I have been so stupid shit omg! I should have-” I get up while cursing myself and because of my jostle he wakes up. I am in midst of picking up the towel and grabbing my pants when he speaks.” Are you okay” I look at him I tug my jeans on and start walking. He gets up and grabs me by the arm. “I saw the marks. Why re you doing this to yourself what wrong everything okay why I mean wh--“ I cut him off and pull my hands away from his grasp. I feel the tears start running down my face and walk away. He hesitates at first but grabs my hands and pulls me to him. I break free and without thinking I start yelling at him” you don’t understand nothings okay, my life is a living hell!!! I wouldn’t except you to understand why are you even talking to me just go fuck yoyour se-“I break down sobbing and fall to the ground. Before I hit the floor he grabs my hand and pulls me to him. He sits down on the blanket cradling me. I don’t even care right now I am just tired. After what seems like hours I stop crying and look up to see him looking down at me. I crawl about of his lap and sit directly in front of him and stare at the lake. I look at my phone to confirm that is 11:20. I yawn. He breaks the silence by speaking.” I’m mason. Who are you?” I listen to him talk to me.” He keeps talking. “ I do understand sometimes I want to kill myself as well while other times I just wonder if anyone will care but I think if I die I will never fall in love I will never see the world so that why I’m here. I guess well I’m not so noticed either so your not the only one. My sister dragged me here trying to get me to be social its just that I hate everyone in that room. “ he sighs and shake his head. “When I came out here I saw you and felt a connection so I was like maybe I actually have a friend here after all.” I stare at him and instantly want to tell him ans so without thinking I do.

“I’m Aubrey I don’t know its just everyone wants to change something of me always something!. I don’t know everyone just is perfect then well theres me. I don’t know I just my parents are always changing something my sister thinks I’m an embarrassment and well I don’t know might as well end this hell.” I look up to see him smiling down at me. We sat like that for a few min and while we sat there he whispered the words I longed to hear.” I think were going to be best friends.” We sat there for hours talking just sitting there and just staring at the sky.


4 months later.

I wake up to see mase on top of me with my toothbrush in one hand and cloths in the other. I look out the window to see some sun streaming in. when I get up I realize it’s the first day of school. In river brook up in New Jersey saddle brook life is going to suck.
I get to the bathroom and yell at mase to prepare my waffles. He yells me back yes. I take a fifteen minute shower and tug on the cloths mase picked out for me. I brush my hair half blind and fumble for my contacts. As I walk out my door I pick up my book bag and stuff some note books in. I get downstairs and I slip on my black flats. Before I have time to put them on mase comes out of the kitchen and takes them. “Hey!!” I protest. He looks at me and shakes his head.” Nope your going to learn how to wear heels. I look at him as if he had there heads. “You’re kidding me right? Your crazy. Are you like sick do you have like Mona or a fever?” I go up and feel his head. He seemed fine. He takes the box out of his bag and takes the shoes out. They are black boots that are heels. There soft and leather. And there black. “You have got to be fuging kidding me.” I look at him back down to the shoes and take them in my hands. I sigh as I tug them on. I walk perfectly in them. He looks at me questionly.” I used to be in this modeling camp with my sister.” I walk to the kitchen and grab a waffle. I sling my back bag on and grab my keys from the door hook. Once i find the right set of keys I walk out to the sunshine. I look back and give a funny laugh. Mase is staring at me like I don’t know it just wasn’t right. I laugh a little uncomfortable and ask” why are you staring at me? Mase! Mase listen to me.” He shakes his head and mumbles an apology. We get into my jeep and drive to star bucks to get our morning caffeine. Before we get out of the car I put on my sunglasses. It was bright out. As walk up to stabucks entryway I see our reflection on the glass wall I almost drop my bag. “Mase what the hell did you pick out for me?!??!?!?!?!!??” I was staring at a thin girl with a black mini skirt a tight pink and black shirt black heel boots and a big frown on her face. I have to admit I looked pretty hot but this was not my style. I look up to see mase staring at me. “I think you look nice.” I laugh and put my sunglasses back on. My bangs get in the way. My hair that ends up bellow my waist sways back and forth with every step I take. I go up to the counter and order my vanilla latte. A group of mase’s lacrosse and football team are there. They yell out to him and he takes both our lattes and drags me over to the group. I grab my latte and start sipping. He walks over and the group keep asking what time do practices time and what not. They don’t notice me until I look at my watch and see were going to be late. “mase.” I softly say. He looks at me and understands. “ oh right we should go were going to be late.” One of the guys asked him.” We?” mase steps aside and everyone than can see me standing there with my ridiculous outfit and sunglasses perched on my head. “ hey” I say softly. Of course no one recognizes me. “ is this a new girl? What your name sweetheart you look nice.?” Ugh. I look at them.” “ I’m aubry. Im not new here and ill be going now im going to be late. I look at mase” if you would like to join me you shall good by.” I turn around and walk out of star bucks. Mase follows and grabs my hand. We hold hands on our walk to the jeep. I start the engine and head off to school.

We get out of the car and walk towards the east office. Mase and I reviewed our schedule and we both have the same classes. We head off to advanced algebra. The day gone off great until last period, sit period at the outdoor library. I love this place. The library is built in a green house so all the walls are glass and when its snowing or raining you can see it. This was the place I would come to