Once Upon A Time... - Kim J (books to get back into reading .TXT) 📗

Hoping against Hope

     Among all things, as chaotic as they might be, I had clarity about two things- I was in love and hopelessly.

 

    As the daylight entered my room, I winced at it. Not that it cared, of course. The best thing about the sun is that whether you want the night to go on or you are waiting for a new day to start, the sun will rise and set when it has to. No amount of wealth and power can bend that one. Speaking of which, I was at a time when my self-esteem was miserably low and I did not have any of my wits around me. Let it be said at the outset, I am an intelligent girl by all means. But these past few days, I did not feel wise, I felt dumb.

Modesty is not my best trait

 

High time I introduce myself- I am Kim. A 25-year-old female. Black eyes, black hair, 5 ft 5 inches, hour glass figure (I am clearly not a modest person), clear complexion, by all means a girl who the society enlists as the ‘beautiful girl’ they look for their ‘handsome son’. And yet, I had no suitors. Apparently, nobody wanted to marry me. The country I come from, girls usually get ‘settled’ by this age. And by settled, I mean married. Everything she has worked for, right from Kinder garden to the Post Graduation, it all comes down to this. Sad, but I will leave it at that since I did not want any suitors. The idea of marriage repelled me, filled me with sadness. It was only a representation of what I couldn’t ever have- A-happily-ever-after!

A Dream and a Song

  

What was it that he was looking for? What was it that I did not have in me? What should I do to make him realize that I’m ‘the One’ for him? Did I do anything wrong? And many more questions like these flooded my mind- a hundred times in a day. But they never, ever, even once brought answers. I had never felt so lonely and depressed in my life. I had hit rock bottom and so had this relationship.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

 With fake courage, I ended the relationship as it was leading to nowhere and I was already in deep shit. I maintained a dairy at that time. I used to write down whatever was in my mind, whenever I felt the slightest urge to talk to him or meet him. I smoked at least one pack of cigarette a day (P.S. I am a non-smoker) and drank neat scotch every day. I just felt the need to torment myself physically, so that the soul feels numb

Good-bye

  

My life went on like this for a couple of months. He was leaving country for a long time and wanted to meet me one last time. I obliged (I was dying to see him anyway). That night, we met and we made crazy, passionate love. It just felt so right and so natural. At the risk of sounding filmy, I felt like I know him from before, from another lifetime, like we are meant to be. It made saying goodbye even harder that night at the airport. I came back home, crying all the way in the cab. I had said my final goodbye!

You learn to live

 

Another couple of days passed, I had reunited with all my friends from before. I had established my favorite scotch. I had started almost liking wallowing in self-pity and that life. That is when he decided to come back. I started receiving texts from him, calls which I never took (so much work done on my self-control) and then, even more messages. I agreed to talk one last time.

Am I day dreaming?

 

I cannot forget that day. He was in tears on the video call and he told me that he couldn’t live without me and he had decided that he had to be with me forever. That’s when the proposal came. I was the happiest and scared at the same time. I could not trust him. Even if I wanted to be with him, I simply couldnt. My heart had been broken. And I couldnt remember the number of times. It meant I could be with him forever. He was proposing marriage. He ahd left me high and dry so many times. Was I going to trust him and risk my heart again? Or was I going to blow him off when he was at his weakest and hurt him? I chose to put my heart in jeopardy. So great was the love I felt for him that I just could not see him hurt. The romantic that he was, he sent a diamond ring followed by the proposal. I gladly wore it and couldnt wait for him to come back. He came back in  a few months and we were the happiest that day. 

I really did know him from before

 

To cut a long story short, I married the love of my life in a private ceremony in November 2017 and we now live in the hills in a cozy house, with two dogs. We fight every day, we make love (almost every day-Lol!) and we are going to grow old together. At the end of the day, no matter what you do or don’t, destiny prevails!

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Publication Date: 10-12-2018

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