Is This A Good Life?? - Jayden Lottman (book club recommendations .txt) 📗

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

Love is just a word, it doesn’t mean anything. Its just something that people say to one another. A word that everyone thinks is just so damn wonderful. Well to me its like the worst thing you could ever say to me. Everytime I hear that awful word I just want to go up to that person and slap the shit right out of them.

My life can never be the same, after my mom left everything just went wrong. My dad used to drink a little, and not very often, well know he drinks all the time to the point where he is abusive to me. My father tells me that he loves me and that he is sorry, but in truth he absolutely hates me, because I am just a memory of my mom.

I try and stay away from him and this house as much as I can, but once I get home everything just goes bad. My dad goes to work, and then when he comes home, he starts drinking right away. He doesn’t care if he spends all of the money we have that should be for groceries, he just wastes it all on his alcohol.

I always wonder what life would be like if my mother was still here. Would my dad be kind, sweet, and a loving father like he is supposed to be? All these questions that I have wondering, and waiting if my mother will ever come back. 

I try all the time to remember what our life was back when my mom was here. But for some reason I just can’t remember anything. It just hurts sometimes not to know how life should be, when my life feels like a tragedy.  

Enough about my feelings. I think to myself, as I lay on my bed waiting for my alarm clock to go off so I can run off to school. School is basically the only place that I am free. School is where I can feel safe and not have to worry about my father or anyone else. Even though everyone always looks at me weird, just because I hardly ever talk to anyone, and because I always wear baggy clothes.  

The school may get me away from my dad, but it doesn't get me away from the schools most popular girl. Brittany... and her most hottest boyfriend in the world Adam grey. Brittany bullies me, and tries to get inside of my head. She thinks that she rules the whole school, she absolutely hates it when Adam tries and talks to me, when he does do that I basically sit there and just look into his eyes. I know that once Brittany finds out I will regret it but I just can't help myself. He is too darn cute.

I look over at my alarm clock and see that it will be going off in about one minute, So I turn it off, get up and go to the bathroom to take a shower. Once I get out of the shower I go over to my closet and pick out my outfit which consists of a red shirt and black skinny jeans with black boots, and of course a bra and panties. Once I get done getting dress I blow dry my hair and put it up in its usual ponytail. Then I put on some mascara grab my purse and house keys and head downstairs hoping not to see my father. 

I walk slowly down the stairs, and peek down the hall down towards the kitchen, I see that the coffee isn't made, which means that he isn't up yet. THANK GOD! I go over to the fridge, and grab a water bottle and a apple, then head out the door to get to the bus. My father doesn't want me to get a car because he thinks then I will leave, and because he doesn't want to have to pay for a extra vehicle.  

Once I get to the bus stop I see that I was right on time, I could see the bus heading towards me about 2 blocks away. 

Once the bus got to my spot I got on and went to my usual seat at the back of the bus. No  one ever sits next to me because everyone just knows me as the quiet girl that gets bullied by Brittany.  

I was almost at school when we stopped at this new spot. I see a boy standing there. I look around and realize that there weren't and open seats but by me. I turn my head to look out the window when I see that he is walking towards me and the open spot. I hate making eye contact.  

"excuse me can I sit here" I hear a really nice voice say. 

I turn my head to look at him, he has the most gorgeous blue eyes that make me wanna melt. It was ADAM GREY! I move my book bag, so that he could sit down.  

"thanks" Adam says.  

"y-y-our w-welcome" I say 

"I am so glad I could find a spot this bus is so full" He says 

"ya well this spot is always open"  

"why is that" 

I just look at him like he is crazy. I mean like seriously is he dumb or something I mean his girlfriend does bully me and he doesn’t do anything about it. 

"you know why" I say 

"oh ya... Look why don't you just go to the principal about it"? he askes 

"because...Look You don't understand, ok, so just don't worry about it, I don't you need your help" 

"well I think you do because for one nobody should be bullied like you are... and plus I care about you" 

"well I don't....Wait what?" 

"what?" 

"y-you s-said you care about me" 

"oh ya well I do...I mean as a friend and stuff...you should always look out for your friends" 

"oh ya right" I say...I could feel my face getting really hot. I turn my head back towards the window. A few minutes later I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look at Adam and he is sitting there staring right ahead.  "can I help you" 

He looks at my like he doesn't know anything  

"what?" he asks 

"you tapped my shoulder" 

"no I didn't" 

I look at him with a ya right face. 

"whatever" I say and turn back around.  

Once we get to school I get up to get off the bus but then I feel a arm wrap around my waist and they pull me back to their chest. 

"I wanna help you, I really hate what brittany does to you and I wanna make it stop" Adam whispers in my ear. My face gets really hot. I turn around and pull down my shirt where it rode up a little.  

"If you really wanna help then just stay away from me because if she sees us together then It will just make it worse" I say and turn around and walk away.

Chapter 2

 

Chapter 2 

Its 7th period, last period of the day. I was sitting in my SRP, (directed studies) Just waiting for the day to be done. I wasn't looking forward to the bus ride home, I really didn't want to even see Adam. He tried talking to me like 3 times today, each time I just turn around and walk the other way.  

I think that someone told brittany that Adam was talking to me, because everytime she see's me in the hallway she glares at me.  

I get up and walk to Mr.Will's desk.  

"how can I help you Abby" he says while looking up at me.  

"Can I use the restroom?" 

"Yes just go ahead and take your stuff with you the class period is almost over." 

"Ok thanks, see you tomorrow." 

I grab my stuff and head out of the room. Once I start walking to the bathroom I see Brittany and her friends standing by the bathroom door. I already knew that this wasn't gonna turn out well. 

"look at what we got here, the tramp that is always hitting on my boyfriend" Brittany says. 

I just walked by her into the bathroom. I was hoping that she wouldn't follow me in here. The door slammed behind me.  

"You seriously just can't stay away from Adam can you? Do you seriously think that he would ever want anything to do with you? Guess what honey, your just a little whore that wants attenion."  

"you know Brittany maybe if you weren't so stuck up in your fantasy life, you would realize that I am not the one that talks to him, he talks to me" I said 

She walks up to me and gets close to my face.  

"Wow the bitch can actually talk" 

"I am not the bitch you are, I am not the one that walks around hurting and bullying people they are jealous of" 

As soon as I got done saying that, she punched me right in the face.  

"You don’t talk to me that way you fucking little slut" She said.  

My anger was boiling in me, I don't know where all the confidence came from but I like it.  

"Nobody likes you, you are just a little.." 

She didn't get to finish her sentence, because I slapped her so hard she went stumbling back. "don't tell me no one likes me because I really don't care you don't know me"  

She comes fast at me and punches me right in the gut, I fall to the ground. She kicks me over and over until I can't feel anything anymore. She grabs onto my arm and pulls me up. "Don't you ever fucking hit me again". With that she punched me again, I fell to the ground passed out.  

"Where am I" I thought. 

I slowly open my eyes and realize that I am still at school in the bathroom. Flashbacks of what happened go through my mind. I quickly get up and a sharp pain goes through me, I lift up my shirt my whole right side is bruised. Every time I breath it send a sharp pain throughout me. I walk over to the mirror, my left eye is puffy and black. Just fucking great.  

Tears start form and I quickly rub my eyes. I grab my bag and phone and see that, it's 5 o'clock. I have 20 minutes to get home and have food on the table for my dad, otherwise he will flip out. I rush out of the bathroom and run down the hallway out the  door, ignoring the pain that is corrupting my body. I keep running until I get a block away from school, I am out of breath. I grab my phone and see I have 15 minutes. There is no way I am gonna make it home, it takes 10 minutes from my house to school riding the bus, and about 20 if I