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the morning then waking up to a knock on the door what seemed to be five hours later, not being totally comfortable with leaving the baby on his own I scooped him up and carefully walked down the stairs with him and opened the door. There in the door way were two coppers, two men, one looked middle aged and the other looked in his early twenties and they both looked very solemn, “urm…hello? May I help you?”
“Miss South?”
“Yes?”
“May we come in?”
“Sure, come on in” I said inviting them in and leading them to the sitting room.
“Is your father home?”
“No, he won’t be back for another month”
“Is there anyway you can contact him?”
“No, sorry, he didn’t leave a number”
The two men exchanged worried looks then “You might want to take a seat” said the younger one of the two, im afraid we have a bit of bad news for you.” As soon as I heard that my heart sank and I could guess what was coming next, so I held the baby tighter and sat down on the sofa and watched as the middle aged copper sat in the arm chair opposite me and the younger one sat next to me
“Is this about my mother?” I asked quietly as I hugged my brother to my chest
“Unfortunately we think we found her body” answered the middle aged copper and the other one sat closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders, “she was found at one this morning next to the railway tracks at central station, it looked as though…it looked as though she threw herself in front of a train” immediately I felt my whole body starting to shake and I only half noticed the older copper take the baby out of my arms, as the younger one tried to comfort me
“No, you have it wrong” I managed to stammer “she is the happiest ive seen her, I mean she has just had the baby”
“It looked as though she had been there for at least a day” said the copper sitting opposite me
“Oh my god” I whimpered as I felt something wet on my face and only realised that I was crying when I wiped it away, they had I wrong anyway, so I don’t know why I was crying, my mum would probably walk through the door anytime now
The younger one moved closer to me and said awkwardly “You will have to come down to the station, to identify the body”
“Ok but I doubt it’s my mother” I agreed awkwardly
After a short discussion the middle aged police man offered to stay with the baby whilst the other one took me down to the station.
It was a silent trip; I was wrapped in my own thoughts, my mum was always happy, I had never seen her sad or angry, she was always the one that held the family together, she was our rock and my inspiration, she was my hero. It wasn’t too long later when I found myself standing side by side with the young copper outside a big metal door he made me jump slightly when he said “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No thanks”
“Are you sure?” he sighed when I nodded “ok” and he pushed the door open for me
I wandered slowly into the room, in the middle of it there was a metal table with a body under a sheet, I stopped as I reached the table and put a shaky hand on to the cold metal of the surface, I looked round to see the copper staring in worriedly through the little window in the door then I turned back towards the table and held my breath as I reached out and slowly pulled the sheet away from the body, I gasped as I recognized the perfect face, everything around me seemed to grow hazy and I swayed a little on my feet, I pulled the cover completely off and just stared at the body of my mother laying soundly on the table, like she was sleeping. I couldn’t see any cuts, bruises or blood on her body it must have been all internal…
“Are you ok?” came a voice behind me, I turned around and stared into the face of my young copper who was kneeling next to me on the cold cement floor, I didn’t know what I was thinking but the next thing I knew I had collapsed into his lap and was sobbing loudly into his chest, he must have had some practice at this because he just held me close and comforted me until I had calmed down enough to make some sense of what I wanted.
“Can you take me home?” I sobbed
“Are you sure you want to go home? I mean is there no one you want to call or anywhere you want to go?”
“No thanks” I replied as I felt fresh tears leak from my eyes “I need to go home”
He nodded once and lead me back out to the car, I didn’t really remember the journey home it was all hazy and dream like, you know like those dreams that wake you up in the night and you barely remember them the next morning, it seemed like no time at all had past when he pulled up outside my house, “Thank you for everything” I said quietly and he opened the door for me.
“I’m really sorry that we had to meet under such tragic circumstances, but look” he said as he held out a see through plastic bag “these are your mother’s clothes and items that were on her body when she was found”
“Thanks” I said appreciatively as I held out my hand to receive the bag and pulled him into a hug, he didn’t break the hug until we heard the other copper, the middle aged one coming down the path
He looked at me sympathetically and then said “The baby fell asleep, I put him in his crib” he patted me on the shoulder and then went and sat in the passenger side of the car
“Thanks again”
“It’s no problem, I’m just sorry that you were on your own”
I shrugged as I felt like I was going to break down again “you have been so good to me and I don’t even know who to send the thank you card too” I managed to choke out
He smiled at me, rested his hand on my shoulder and said “It’s Dylan” he smiled at me again then he turned round and walked slowly to the car and drove off.

I sniffed as I clambered off my bed, walked over to my dresser and pulled out a see through plastic bag that I didn’t bother to look through a year earlier, I went and sat down on the floor and leaned up against my bed then I rummaged inside the bag and found a white piece of paper, I opened it slowly and read:
To my two beautiful children
Look for me as the sun set’s
Mum
I let my tears splatter on to the page as I traced the words ‘as the sun sets’ with my finger, I didn’t have a clue what the note meant but it still meant a lot to me, it was the last thing my mum had touched, well apart from the train, I put the letter aside and rummaged around a bit more and pulled out the once light blue top that was now a deep red and her favourite pair of khaki trousers that she had been wearing the day that she had died, but both were now just rags, I didn’t mind, I was just glad to have something of hers that hadn’t been washed. her purse that had two hundred pounds still in it and a pair of pink trainers and there at the bottom of bag I found her angel necklace with her birthstone in the middle, I pulled it out, fiddled with clasp and fastened it around my neck, at least now I felt close to her. I sniffed her top ignoring the blood stains, I could still smell the perfume that she had been wearing, it was such a sweet fragrance, the one I had brought for her, I put the now empty bag on the floor and placed mums top on my knees and sat there silently with my head in my hands.
It had been two weeks since my dream, since I really had a chance to think about it, it’s not something I really want to see again in a hurry. But I remember seeing mums body, it didn’t look like she had been hit by a train for all I knew she could have fallen in to some brambles and fallen asleep because all she had on her was cuts and bruises, but I only saw the front of her body, I suppose the train hit her from behind which left the front of her body generally unscathed, but it really wasn’t worth thinking about, was it? She committed suicide so her death wasn’t suspicious.
“Lana! Stop daydreaming” muttered Bree “Miss is looking at you!”
“What?” I had almost forgotten that I was in an English lesson
“Shhh, teacher” hissed Bree as she quickly picked up her pen and started writing
I looked up and was face to face with Mrs Foxworth she wasn’t like most of the teachers here, she was young, just married in fact and genuinely very kind
“Lana?” she asked so only me and maybe Bree could hear “are you ok?”
“Just fine miss” I mumbled
She frowned at me and then said “you always have been a terrible liar” she sighed and then continued “I want to talk to you so please stay behind after class” and then she walked backed to her desk and sat down.
I turned to Bree who was looking at me and mumbled “what do you think she wants?”
“Dunno” shrugged Bree “she’s nice so I doubt that you are in any trouble”
“I guess” I muttered
“Anyway” said Bree as the bell rang “I’ll be waiting just outside ok?”
“Sure” I stayed sitting down as the class slowly filed out of the class room until there was only me, Mrs Foxworth and a skinny boy called Billy was left in the room
“Now Billy”
But Billy interrupted “but Miss it wasn’t me! Well not entirely”
“Billy…” Mrs Foxworth tried again
But Billy interrupted again “it’s not fair! Why did you only call me up? You always pick on…”
But this time Miss interrupted “Billy! Shut up! I don’t care who else was involved, it was you I saw making the stupid noises and so it will be you that will be getting the detention! Maybe it will teach you to act your age.” Then she pointed towards the door which was an obvious dismissal.
Billy turned around with a rather sorry look on his face but then corrected it into an “I don’t care” sort of grin when I realised that I was in the room “alright Lana” he muttered as he swaggered over to the door
“Hurt your leg Bill?” I said smirking
He mumbled something that sounded like “I was just being cool” then stalked out of the room
I raised my eyebrows and looked at the teacher who walked over and sat in Bree’s usual spot to the right of me “What’s going on?” she asked simply “you seem to be daydreaming a lot and it’s not like you, you are a good student but your grades are slipping”
“Not a lot” I replied “just today”
“I meant, Lana, that you missed today’s lesson because you were daydreaming”
“Oh”
“So what’s going on?”
“It’s nothing” I muttered “just a dream I
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