As The Sun Sets - Erinny Rose (small books to read TXT) 📗

gone off to a museum trip for their history course and I still have no idea where Gabriel is.
“Come on Lana, im hungry!” moaned Bree loudly into my ear
“You go then, just meet me back here when you’re done”
“I’m not leaving you alone, I will be like five minutes at the most” she waited for me to move myself from the radiator but I didn’t budge so she gave me a little push “why are you being so stubborn!” she whined
“Its cold and wet and I don’t like the cold, and I don’t like the wet so when it is cold and wet I tend not to leave the house”
“But, it’s just like a two second walk, come on!! You go out one door and the next second you’re through the other”
“Yes but I have to leave the building, and face the weather, you go. We are in here next anyway”
“Fine” grumbled Bree in defeat and stalked out of the room finally leaving me to my thoughts.
I looked around the now empty class room sighing, it was too much work to explain myself to people and I shouldn’t really need too, I have my reasons for things and that should be enough. I sighed again now thinking about the fact my father was coming home, what did he want and why didn’t he phone me? That thought made me angry and by the time it was time to leave school I was in a worse mood than I was when I left the house this morning.
“Hello” I called as I walked through the front door, then as I took another step I tripped over something and landed flat on my face. I got up slowly trying to stop my head spinning, I could feel a headache coming on and looked around. There were suit cases every where. “Are we moving?” I wandered allowed
“No honey, well you’re not moving.” I looked up to see my dad who was wearing his travelling jacket and holding Dylan who was also wearing his coat.
“What do you mean?” I asked slowly as I stared at my baby brother who was dozing lightly in my fathers’ arms
“I’m moving away and I’m taking Dylan with me”
I blinked stupidly at him, he was moving away? But…what about me? “Dad?” I said “what about me?” the question sounded childish as if Dylan had gotten a present and I wanted to know where mine was.
“Well honey, I figured that your old enough to own a house and I thought that you probably wouldn’t want to leave here, so I have put the house in your name, ive paid off the mortgage, you don’t have to do anything” he said when he saw the expression on my face “I am still going to pay the bills” he paused then added “Sorry honey, I have a car waiting, I must get going”
“What? Get going where?”
“Moving out to Japan to run the business there, sweetie” he said as he handed a few of the suitcases to two waiting men who must have followed me in
“Your, leaving me?”
“Not leaving you love, just helping you along” he kissed me on the forehead then picked up the last remaining case and walked out closing the door behind him with out even saying goodbye.
I don’t know how long I stood there, at first I just felt numb, I was shocked and outraged but…I couldn’t feel it. I blinked away the tears and sniffed.
“Lana…are you ok?”
I turned around to see James standing at the door, I sniffed again and wiped my eyes but no matter how much I wiped my eyes the tears still flowed, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t say a word, all I could do was gasp and sob in to James’s shoulder. I couldn’t think, I felt like some one had stabbed me a thousand times over in my chest, I felt like they had ripped a hole in my heart and left me to die.
It wasn’t too long before I was aware that I was now sitting on my bed in my room on James’s lap, I wasn’t sure when I had moved, I was too over come, my non existent dad had just come home and taken my only source of sanity away. He didn’t even ask how I was, he didn’t even stay for a drink, and he didn’t want to know. “He took Dylan” I finally managed to sob “my dad, he came home and took Dylan!”
“Shhh” soothed James “its ok”
“No! It’s not ok!” I half screamed as I hit him feebly “He took my baby brother, he took my baby!” I coughed and spluttered as I tried to catch my breath “You don’t understand James, I have raised Dylan, my dad had nothing to do with him after and even before mum died, I did all the work, I treated him as my own, I loved him as my own!” I had now worked myself into hysterics and couldn’t breathe at all, “He took my baby” I gasped again as a fresh howl of misery escaped my lips.
“Shhh, breathe, take deep breaths for me Lana” whispered James hugging me tightly and he held me until I cried myself to sleep.
I never knew how it would feel for a mother to be parted from her child, knowing that she would probably never see him again, and I didn’t want to know, this was bad enough. I had taken care of Dylan since he was born, he was my brother but my connection to him ran deeper, he was my baby, my child, not by birth but by blood, because of the death of our mother and the absence of our father, they had given him to me, they had passed him on to me, I raised him and I loved him as a mother would love her child. Giving birth to a child does not make you its mother, even raising that child. The one and only thing that can make you a mother is love, the love you feel is unbreakable no matter what the child may grow up to be, a mothers love is unconditional, irrational and fearless, nothing can get in the way of a mothers love. My grief ran so deep, I felt like I was falling apart and there was no one around to pick up the pieces.


Chapter Thirteen

January 14th 2009, Dear diary, yesterday my dad came home, he had been away since September and hadn’t even made the effort to come home for Christmas. It was a brief visit, but one that would stay with me till I die. You see my father has broken my heart, he left me yesterday, taking Dylan with him, his only son whom he had not held for more than five minutes in one go, the child he had ungratefully abandoned, his only reminder of his wife, a widowed man also heart broken had also abandoned me. He left me to raise his baby son; Dylan is now one, turned one last month. He is such an amazing child, you can never get bored around him, so full of surprises, said his first word three weeks ago he said ‘Baa Baa’, he was referring to his toy sheep, which he carries around as a security blanket, I taught him to walk and I had only just started to potty train him. A bit early right? But I thought that if I started early then maybe he would catch on that bit quicker. Dear Diary, I have nothing to do now, my world had centred around my baby brother since he was born, he was my life line after mum died, he looks so much like her, he has the same colour hair, blonde with strands of brown and red and the same sparkle in his big brown eyes and the same cheeky grin. Dear diary my father has broken my heart.
I didn’t get much sleep, I had exhausted myself beyond sleep and every so often when I finally managed to stem the flow of tears I remembered that James was still with me, I kept meaning to thank him but then I remembered and the tears would flow freely again. It was a long night and the prospect of having to get up for school tomorrow didn’t excite me in the slightest, but some how in the night whilst I was drifting in and out of consciousness I unconsciously pushed the events of yesterday right to the back of my head. I am…will be ok, I will keep my pain on the inside and not let any one know. The only one who I would allow to see me fall apart is James and that is due to his imperfect timing. I didn’t know how many hours, minutes or seconds later but I was aware that it was around my ‘waking up’ time, but I didn’t move, my head felt like a dead weight and I could tell that my eyes were red and puffy due to the soreness I could feel around them. I forced myself into a sitting position and stared around my room, as I looked at my sofa under the window and noticed that James was curled up on it sleeping soundly I felt my chest swell up with love, he had not left me, not for one minute, he was prepared to spend all night with me, he was prepared to give up his own time for me. I prized my sore eyes away from him and decided to go and bathe, it was only seven so I could have a good hour in the tub.
“Oh James, your awake” I said as I walked back into my bedroom rubbing my hair gently.
James didn’t say anything he just kept his face on mine “What?” I said feeling slightly self conscious as I was only in my bra and bed shorts
“Are you ok?” he asked me slowly
“Yeah, thanks.” I paused for a moment to think “James, I want to forget last night, if you don’t mind” I said quietly staring at my bare feet.
He frowned at me “are you sure? I mean with these sorts of things its not good to just ignore, it could really mess you up”
“Quite sure” I answered as I sprayed on my deodorant and pulled on my orange t shirt with butterflies along the bottom
“Fine” he said still frowning, he obviously didn’t like my decision.
“Do you need a lift to school?” I asked
“No thanks, I don’t need to go in on Wednesday’s”
“Ok a lift home then?”
“That would be nice” he said with a dazzling smile
“Thanks, by the way” I said blushing once we were in the car and just minutes from his house
“For what?” he asked as he turned to look at me
“For staying with me last night, you didn’t have to”
All of a sudden he looked angry “You don’t actually think I would have left you in the state you were in do you? What kind of friend would that make me?”
I didn’t talk again until I had pulled into his driveway, I didn’t know what to say to him except thank you again, so I turned to face him and his answering gaze shocked me. He was staring back at me with blazing eyes, it was obvious what he was going to do, but my brain had gone in to slow motion and I reacted a little too late, his right hand was already placed gently on my cheek and he was pulling me in, I closed my eyes as his soft lips touched mine. The electricity was threatening to take over, it was overwhelming