Crossing the Mirage: Passing through youth - BS Murthy (best ereader for epub .txt) 📗

her mother meaningfully. “Moreover, he’s handsome and holds a decent position. Didn’t he say he’s an officer at some bank? It’s a match that would floor anyone. Isn’t that so?”

While the mother placed the cart before the horse, the seed of her daughter’s infatuation got embedded in the soil of expectation. And to the delight of all, the following Sunday, Vasu occupied the outhouse.

“What if we invite him for lunch?” proposed her father.

“Why not?” said her mother. “It will make a welcome gesture.”

It was at the dining table that Nithya was formally introduced to Vasu.

“Nithya cooks deliciously,” said her mother, inviting him to have a go at the preparations. “You can check it for yourself.”

“Then,” he began eating, mocking greed, “I’ve got a job on hand.”

“In that case,” said Nithya getting up in jest, “better I get back to the kitchen.”

“Honestly, you’re marvelous,” he paused, with a morsel in his mouth, “cook, indeed.”

“Thank you,” she said, serving him some more sambaar.

“It’s the other way round,” he said looking into her eyes.

As he ate with relish, she savored the food that pleased him.

Seeing their bonhomie, her parents too were impressed.

‘What a pair they would make,’ felt her father.

‘Won’t he make a loving husband,’ thought her mother.

Soon, the parents were delighted that their tenant was doting upon their daughter. But when her mother sensed that her daughter was neck deep in love, she thought it fit to have a word with her. But by then, even as Nithya’s enamored heart goaded her on the path of love, Vasu had guided her willy-nilly into the vortex of lust. 

“I think it’s time his parents are involved,” said the mother.

“It’s on the cards anyway,” said the daughter coyly.

“You better play close to your chest,” said the mother. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh, don’t I know that!” said the daughter dismissively

“Whatever,” said the mother, “let me repeat that in male-female interaction, physical proximity is but one step away from sexual togetherness and it’s dicey for woman at the threshold of temptation. Man by nature would be eager to press for the final favour and should woman fail to resist, it would be a case of giving away in hurry and repenting at leisure for her.”

“I don't see any problem in that mom,” said Nithya assuredly.

 “But be on your guard dear,” said the mother sounding caution.

All the same, the moment of reckoning for Nithya came soon enough to her consternation.

  

Chapter 10

Absurd Proposal

 

Though not nonplussed at having lost her virginity, Nithya, nevertheless, began pressuring Vasu for the nuptial. Yet, his assurances to tie the knot made her give him more of her own that was till she felt he was taking it easy. When she began denying him the good time to drive home her point that only made him indignant, she could figure out the consequences of his indifference. Thus, feeling vulnerable, she forced herself to humour him even more furthering his fulfillment all the more. But even as he procrastinated over their nuptial, his seed began to evolve in her womb and things came to a head when she missed her periods.

When confronted with the development, Vasu could dodge no more, and spilled the beans.

“I understand your embarrassment,” he began.

“What an understatement!” she said in consternation.

“We shouldn’t have jumped the gun.”

“It’s neither here nor there,” she said, worried over his prevarication.

“Why worry,” he said taking her hand, “as I’m around still.”

“Better you rush to your parents now,” she said as her voice reflected her sense of urgency. “We should get married before my morning sickness shows up.”

“Don’t I know about that, but….”

“But what?” she interrupted him in alarm.

“Why are you so impatient?”

“Do remember,” she said turning apprehensive, “you promised to marry me.”

“I’m here to keep my word.”

“Then why dilly-dally?”

“Our marriage is not the problem,” he said affecting confusion. “The predicament is how to go about it.”

“You always sounded confident, didn’t you?”

“I am all for marrying you,” he said assuming a melancholic pose. “But there are other things in the way. Those that make life what it is.”

“What are you trying to convey?” she became nervous.

“I’m too confused for that.”

“What confusion?”

“Now I’m trapped between two stools,” he said affecting pain. “I can’t extricate myself without disturbing either or both. That’s my predicament.”

“Is it the time to beat around the bush?” she asked in vexation. “Don’t you understand my position? Are your parents against our marriage or what?”

“If it were so,” he said assuming an air of arrogance, “I would’ve walked out on them long back and led you to the Registrar’s Office straightaway. But my dilemma is different.”

“What’s that?” she said, perplexed.

“Promise me,” he said outstretching his right palm, “you won’t take it amiss.”

“Oh, tell me,” she said brushing his hand aside.

“We’ve to contend with Prema.”

“Who’s she?”

“She’s my betrothed,” he said nonchalantly.

“What!” she exclaimed, unable to believe her ears.

“We were engaged shortly before I met you.”

“What do you mean?” she nearly fainted.

“Don’t get upset,” he said, trying to comfort her, “listen to me fully.”

“How could you do this to me?”

“Oh, please listen,” he tried to appease her, “I’ll explain everything.”

“What else can I do now?” she sounded helpless. “After all, haven’t I compromised myself?”

“Don’t get depressed,” he said trying to sound genuine. “I would never swap her for you. I wouldn’t do that even with a Helen for sure. Just try to understand my situation.”

“I’m confused really.”

“Don’t be impatient,” he said. “We’ll sort out things.”

“You should’ve had me,” she blurted out, “only after sorting out things.”

“Well, I'll explain.”

“Does it make any difference to me now?” she said, wearily.

“When I became a probationary officer, Prema was proposed to me,” he said, weighing his words as though he was a tutored witness in the court. “It was a dream match, whichever way one may look at it. We got engaged before I came here for the training. How could I have known that you’d come into my life? The moment I saw you, I was lost in love. The day I was sure of your love, I wrote to my father to cancel the engagement.”

“What did he say?” she couldn’t help enquiring.

“He said it would put him in a spot,” he paused as though to let her prepare for the blow to follow. “He said he used the dowry he took to clear the debts. If I go back now, he will be obliged to return the amount and that would push us back into the debt trap all again. What's worse, it would jeopardize our position in the biradari. So he pleaded that he be spared all this in his old age. Can't you understand my predicament? I’ve a balancing act to do now and you can see how hard it is on me as well.”

“If anything, it’s harder on me, especially with your child in my womb. Its time you realize that,” she said spiritedly. “Well, I see a way out. Let’s take a loan to return the dowry. I'll take up a job and help you tighten our belts as well. It’s only a matter of time before we come out clean.”

“I don't think it's not workable,” he said sounding sentimental. “Besides making me feel like a drag on your life that would only bring me back to square one. Didn’t I tell you I always felt deprived, being born poor? Being a Class One Officer, I still feel insecure. While our tightened belts would only reinforce my deprived feeling, the debt trap could make me feel all the more insecure. Moreover, when the novelty wears off, I may even perceive you as the cause of my discomfiture. What’s worse, our marriage itself could be on the rocks due to domestic discords.”

“All that could be true,” she said, as he felt relieved. “But, what’s the alternative?”

“There is one,” he said seemingly in hesitation, “if you could take it.”

“Tell me.”

“That is, he said, ‘if you believe that I am yours first and last.”

“If not,” she said a little relieved, “do you think I would’ve given myself to you?”

“Prema is stinking rich,” he began taking her hand as though to make her a co-conspirator.

“Now I see,” she said pulling back in vexation, “why you are ditching me.”

“If you think I am marrying her for money,” he said seemingly offended, “she is no less a stunner than you.”

“Oh, the novelty seems to have worn off already!” she said as sarcastically as she could while trying not to feel helpless. “Why not, haven’t you had enough of me already?”

“I’m sorry,” he said cajolingly, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just explaining things. Believe me, life for me without you would be like going through the motions. But without wealth it comes to the same in spite of you. Had you come into my life straight away, it would’ve been like living in heaven in your wifely fold. But this turn of events gave me the opportunity of my life that is hard to miss. And hadn’t you come into my life, I would’ve been happy still, living with her, unaware of what fulfillment could really be with a woman. To be or not to be, that’s my dilemma.”

“Better realize that you can’t have the cake and eat it too,” she said as she readied herself to force the issue. “You’ve to take your pick, now and here. Well, as you have made your inclinations apparent, I won’t bank upon your love anyway. I can only appeal to your conscience, that too because of my condition. If only I were not carrying, seeing how you are dodging, I would’ve walked out on you by now. Now I know what a woman loses by compromising herself. Anyway, it’s too late in the day for me to think of it.”

“I know you’re hurt,” he said. “As I understand your vexation, you should also realize I too have my qualms. I’ve been troubled ever since we’ve got physically close. That very night I thought of running away from you. But your beauty and my love immobilized me.”

“Now that you’re satiated,” she hissed at him venomously, “why don’t you admit it's just lust with you.”

“Even if you take it that way,” he said, “a lifetime of sex with you won’t be enough to quench my thirst for you. And the truth is, I’m passionately in love with you. You know I’ve got addicted to you, thanks to the ardor of your amour. Without you I would go mad indeed.”

“Keeping my fate in balance,” she said in agony, “you’re killing me with your falsity.”

“If you go with my proposal,” he said as if to tilt the balance, “everything would turn out fine in the end.”

“What’s that?” she enquired in spite of herself.

“With your parents’ blessings,” he said taking her hand, “we'll have a civil marriage.”

“What about your parents?”

“We'll keep them out of the loop for a while.”

“But why?” she said removing her hand from his.

“It’s my idea of our love,” he said regaining her hand, “to save our love. In turn, I'll marry Prema without your parents’ getting wiser to it. Slowly but steadily, we can prepare her and all, to the reality of our lives.”

“What an absurd proposal!” she said in remorse.

“I agree it’s unusual,” he said disarmingly. “But that suits us admirably.”

“I will be a game,” she said having read his game in the meantime, “if only you make Prema privy to this plan.”

“It’s an absurd proposal really.”

“Why! Won’t it suit you fine, either way?” she said pinning him down. “If she agrees, you would've us both and should she back out, your father needn’t return the money. Wouldn't that remove the hurdle to our marriage? You know it would.”

“Doubt if it works out that way,” he said lacking any conviction in what he said.

“Why don’t you admit,” she jeered at him, “that you don’t want it that way.”

“When I’m frank with you,” he sounded arguing for a lost case, “I expect a better understanding than that. How do you expect me to tell my betrothed that I’ve