LITTLE GIRL LOST - SARAH BETH LEE (tharntype novel english .TXT) 📗

laughing green eyes. She had enjoyed herself more than she should have but he had been so quirky and funny how could she not join in his easy laughter and endless chatter?

After he had left her life had been long and tedious. She had cleaned the apartment, finished her laundry, shopped for groceries and found a certain blue eyed face invading her thoughts at odd times throughout her day. She tried to ignore it but the feelings that followed were so powerful and overwhelming that she couldn’t pretend they weren’t real. Hannah had tried to keep herself busy but she found her mind constantly thinking of Nick. She had no doubt in her mind that he existed and that he was out there somewhere waiting for her. She knew she had about a million in one chance of finding him but she had hope and with that hope she promised herself she would not give up. She walked around her bedroom randomly touching things and thinking of times gone by. She stopped and ran her finger over the fragile Angel that sat on her bedside table. She knew it was supposed to be a Christmas ornament but she had never been able to box it up and hide it away after the holidays were over. She could feel the smooth cool surface as her finger grazed the angel’s wing. She realized that she felt save with it by her side as if the angel were watching over her while she slept. She knew this too was silly and she had no way of proving it but she was sure that Nick had sent her this all those years ago. She had felt that Nick had wanted her to feel safe even without her dad there. Hannah swiped at the tear that silently trickled down her cheek. She raised her head to the sky and prayed for strength.

Hannah was still trying to figure out what was going on with her life. She had always taken comfort in being alone where no one could invade her personal space or hurt her on an intimate level. She had thought that by keeping people away she would never be hurt again when someone left or worse died. But now she wasn’t so sure if her plan was so great. She had never felt so out of sorts or so alive. She found herself laughing more and smiling at random strangers for no reason at all. She wondered if Maddie was right maybe she wasn’t broken just a little lost. As Hannah’s thoughts drifted to her best friend she glanced down at her watch, it was 9:30 she was supposed to meet Maddie at 10 am for brunch.

She grabbed her jacket and called down for her car. Hannah gathered her things and left the apartment. She tapped her foot as she waited for the elevator. She knew that the best apartments were the ones at top but man waiting for the elevator sucked. As the doors slid open she stepped inside to see Zach. She was a little surprised she had never expected to see him again after the other night.

“Hey Peyton isn’t it?”

Hannah could feel the blush creeping up her face. She sucked on her bottom lip should she tell him who she really is or let him continue to believe she was someone else all together? She would avoid telling him for now. She still found it rather odd that she had bumped into him twice in such a short time, really what were the odd?

“And your Zach right?”

“You remembered so how’s your morning going?”

“Well if you consider falling asleep at 4am and getting up at 6am good then good and you?”

“I am okay, stayed up way too late last night but this was by far the best weekend of my life.”

“Did you win the lottery or something?”

Zach laughed as thoughts of Beth filled his head causing him to smile like a lovesick teenager. He had never entertained the idea that she would say no but after he said the words he had suddenly found his palms sweating and his throat as dry as the Sahara desert as he waited for her to say something.

“In a manner of speaking yes, I got engaged. Beth saying yes was worth so much more than any amount of money.”

Hannah could see the silly smile that simply refused to leave his face and she knew that Beth was a lucky girl. She found herself smiling back at him and she wondered if she would ever find her Zach.

“Congratulations you look like the happiest man alive right now. I hope you know how lucky you are.”

“Oh I know trust me.”

“I’m serious some people wait their entire lives to find what you guys have so don’t ever take it for granted.”

“I know trust me, I know.”

“So you aren’t dating the super model across the hall from me so what brings you back this way?”

“I was just checking on some cameras and feeds.”

Hannah looked at him as if she had no idea what he was talking about and then she remembered the business card he had given her. He was a security specialist.

“You do the security for the building?”

“Guilty as charged. I was working that Friday night so I figured since my night was blown and Beth was working I mine as well work on my paper for school.”

Hannah looked at her feet and hated lying to Zach about who she was. She found that she really liked him and would love to meet his Beth. She had never actually felt the urge to make friends but she felt so at ease with Zach and he was just nice.

“Smart man you use your time wisely.”

“So where are you headed today?”

“I am having brunch with a friend and then I have a meeting.”

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor and the doors slowly opened. “Well this is my floor. Have a good day and call me sometime I would love for you to meet Beth.”

Hannah found herself nodding her head, “Ok someday soon.”

Zach smiled back, “Soon.”

Hannah waved as the doors silently slid closed. She waited for the elevator to descend to the lobby and as the doors began to open she was already filling lighter somehow, happier. She bounced out of the elevator and headed to the front door. She waved at Carson as she passed the open office. He was talking on the phone and waved absently as she continued to the car waiting out front. Hannah handed Russ a tip as she jumped in and took off. She hit shuffle on the CD changer and waited to see what song came on. The bittersweet notes of Back to December filled the car. She found herself humming along with the song and wishing she could go back in time. If she could change things she would go back to a warm summer day in June and make everything alright, oh how different her life might be now. She could feel her good humor slowly slipping away as she remembered the hospital, beeps, flashing lights, and the sound of pounding feet running across the hall from one room to another. Nurses and doctors telling her everything would be alright but little did they know how wrong they were.

Hannah pulled into a parking garage and killed the engine as the silent tears fell endlessly down her face. She wished she could forget it would be so much easier if she could but her heart would never let her forget what had happened that day and how if she had done even one little thing differently the outcome of that fateful day might have been different. She reached in the glove box and pulled out a Kleenex and dabbed at her cheeks. She caught her reflection in the rearview mirror and cringed at the sight of her tear stained face. She grabbed her makeup bag out of her purse and tried to hide the truth under fake smiles and powder. She sighed as she knew that Maddie would see right through her veiled attempts to hide the truth of whom and what she was. She snapped the mirror closed and dropped it in her shoulder bag and climbed out of the car.

Hannah walked down the block to the café on the corner and saw Mad already sitting in the tiny outdoor garden. She waved like a mad man as she rounded the corner. She stood by the table as Maddie stood to hug her close.

“Hannah what’s wrong?”

Hannah laughed a shaky laugh as she shrugged her shoulders, unsure how to answer the simple question. She trusted Maddie with her life and her most intimate secrets but she had never really let Maddie see who she really was. In all honesty no one knew the real Hannah for she had buried her so far beneath the pain and grieve that even Hannah couldn’t remember who she really was or who she might have been had her life been different.

“Maddie I suppose I am just feeling sentimental, now tell me what are you doing sitting outside in the cold?”

Maddie laughed at the expression on Hannah’s face, “We’re not eating out here but I was walking over from the office and saw you coming around the block so I waited.”

Hannah nodded and smiled as Maddie took her hand and pulled her to the door. She could smell the rich aroma of coffees, nuts and hot chocolate her one weakness. She ordered a cup of cocoa and a bran muffin. She half listened as Maddie chatted with the owner about Thanksgiving and the rush that would be the rest of the Holiday season once Friday hit. Hannah wasn’t concerned about shopping or presents she did all her gift buying on line and she only had two people to buy for anyway so it was rather easy for her. She walked aimlessly around the room looking at the pictures that dotted the walls of times and events in the history of the family business. She sat by the big picture window watching as people walked down the busy sidewalk she wondered who they were and where they were going. She could see a mother with her twin boys walking to the bus stop and a man in a Bradbury coat talking furiously on the phone. She tried to imagine what he might be saying, was he talking to his wife who he loathed while his sexy mistress waited on the corner for him to join her? Was he yelling at his personal assistant for scheduling his lunch meeting at noon instead of 1? Or maybe he was hearing the inevitable truth that his girlfriend was a lying cheating witch. She was brought out of her wool gathering by the sound of the chair across from her scraping the floor as Maddie sat down.

“Sorry about that Martin is such a nice guy; his family has owned this place for over fifty years. I love