Standing Close To The Edge(Finished) - Danielle Palmer (shoe dog free ebook txt) 📗

purse on the table and dug in it until I found my phone. Ignoring all the missed calls I had, I went to my contacts. Scrolling down until I found his name I clicked call and let it ring.
“Adrian! Where are you?” He sounded out of breath and worried. “Liam I'm fine. Tell everyone to go back to the hotel. I'll be there later. I just want to be alone for right now.” He sighed and I could picture him running his hand through his hair. “At least let me know where you are.” I looked around for a street name but didn't see one. “Honestly I don't even know where I am. I'll find my way back though.” I laughed a little but I didn't hear him laugh back. I guess that wasn't funny. “What if you can't find your way back Adrian?” He sounded angry and I don't blame him. I would be angry to if the situation was switched but they needed to understand I need time. “I will. Send everyone home please. I promise I'll be there later.”
Hanging up before he could answer, I shoved my phone back in my purse. I leaned my head on my arms that were on the table and sighed. My breath came out shakily as the tears made there way down my cheeks. I could barley cry anymore, there was only a few tears shed and my head was pounding for all of it. I don't even know what to do anymore. I know someone told Zayn about what happened in my past. Either it was Harry or Liam and that just added on more stress. Knowing that Zayn now knows what happens in my past is scary. It can either make or break our relationship. If he didn't want me after this I guess I would understand. Who would want me? I'm broken and my mind is fucked. I have nightmares every night and I cut myself. I'm running from my own mind.
Breathing in slowly, I cleared my mind of everything. Thinking about Zayn and I's relationship was making me worry even more. I couldn't just sit here and wait for what's coming. I needed to face the facts and not run from my problems anymore. Pulling out my phone I realized it had been 30 minutes since I talked to Liam. I sighed and stood up stretching in the process. I looked around for a second and found the way I came before walking that way. Finding the hotel took me another 30 minutes. What made me find it after awhile were the fans standing outside the lobby door. After finding the door in the back I started to the elevator and up to our floor.
Finding myself standing outside the hotel door I couldn't seem to get my hand to move so I could knock. My heart was beating abnormally fast and my palms were sweating. Turning away from the door I looked at the empty wall in front of me. My phone rang loud throughout the hallway causing it to echo. I cursed under my breath and dug around for it. Finally spotting it, I quickly pulled it out and looked at the name. Of course she would have to call and make my day worse. I sighed clicked call making the loud sound end. “What?” She had the nerve to call me. I can't believe it. “Now is that anyway to talk to your mom?” I heard her laugh and for the first time in awhile it made me smile. It wasn't one of those evil laughs. It was an actual giggle that I haven't heard in almost a year. She actually sounded sober and happy.
“Mommy?” I whispered. There was a sniffing sound on the other end like she was crying. “Yes baby girl. I'm so sorry for how I treated you since your father died. I know you are no where near forgiving me and I understand but I just wanted to tell you I'm in rehab. Me and Todd are still together. He was the one that told me I needed to get my life back on track and I knew you were the most important thing and I didn't want to lose you. I just want a family. One with you in it.” For a second my heart almost jumped at the opportunity to be a family again. Then I thought to about the family I had made. The people who never once hurt me. Yeah she was my mom but I didn't want to be in her family. It just wasn't a 'family' without dad and he wasn't coming back.
“You're right. I am no where near forgiving you. I'm happy you have someone in your life that cares enough to send you to rehab. I am proud of you but you have to understand that even if you are my mom I've lived on my own for awhile now. I've made friends and basically a family that will never hurt me like you did. I would love to be in your family but it just won't feel right.” Her breathing was shaky and I knew she was crying. My heart broke but I didn't cry. I stood strong. Maybe I was being to harsh but she had to understand it's going to take awhile for this relationship to work.
“I understand. Well I got to go honey.”
“And mom.”
“Yes love?”
“I- I love you.” I don't understand why it was so hard for me to say it. I know I meant it so that's all that matters. “I love you to. Goodnight.” There was a click and then the line went dead. I let out a breath that I felt like I was holding for awhile and turned towards the door. Harry was standing there smiling, leaning one shoulder against the closed door. His hair was messy and he was still in his regular clothes. I smiled as he walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug. “You really consider us your family?” I pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes. “Yeah. I guess I do.” He smiled brightly and squished me up against his chest. “You're our family to. Stuck forever.” I giggled and pushed him away causing him to chuckle.
My smiled faded when I looked back at the door. I knew Zayn was in there and I don't really know if I could handle seeing him after everything that happened today. It wasn't like I never wanted to see him again it was just the fact that I knew he knew about my past that scared me. “He's sleeping.” I looked up at Harry and saw him nodding towards the door. I guess if Zayn was sleeping I would see him in the morning. By then maybe it wouldn't be that awkward. He's probably tired from everything that happened today. I know I am.
Following Harry into the hotel room, I was hesitant at first. He pulled me along behind him all the way into the living room. The floor was still covered in the blankets from last night but they looked straightened up like they had been remade. Liam, Danielle, Niall, Alexis, and Louis were all sitting in a half circle with a bunch of food in the middle. The TV was paused on a title of a movie which was Forest Gump. There was two seats left open for me and Harry on the end. Danielle, being the first to see us walk in, jumped up and hugged me. “Don't ever scare us like that again.” She whispered. I pulled back and held my pinky out. She wrapped hers around mine and we both kissed our hands. That was what me, her, and Alexis made up couple days ago. I hugged everyone else before I was pulled to my seat. “Movie time!” Louis yelled making me laugh. They always knew how to cheer me up.

The next day I woke up with a stiff back. I usually never sleep on my back but it hurt my ribs when I sleep on my side. Sitting up slowly I twisted around trying to get my back to crack. When I looked around the living room was empty of everyone. All the trash was picked up and all the blankets were out of sight. The living room was spotless and the only thing that was in here was my pillow and blanket. I listened closely but didn't hear any movement in the hotel. Where was everyone? It's 11 in the morning. Sighing slightly, I stood up grabbing my blanket and pillow before walking upstairs. I stopped in the doorway of my room when I noticed a body under the blankets. I instantly knew it was Zayn by his hair. Plus this was OUR bedroom. It didn't look like he was awake so I tiptoed over to the bed and put them down before walking back out the door.
Once I got around the corner I ran down the stairs and back into the living room. Sitting on the couch, I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. There wasn't much to chose from so I just put on a random channel. My phone went off telling me I had a text message. Peeking at it, it showed a envelope that read text message and then under it said Hazza

. All the guys plus Alexis and Danielle had special names in my phone. Harry was obviously Hazza

. Liam is Li

. Niall's is Nialler

. Louis was Lou

. Zayn's well his is weird but I still like it. It's ZaynieBoo:]

. Danielle's is obviously Dani

and Alexis, her's is Allie

of course. All pretty natural except Zayn's.
Clicking read I skimmed over the message and replied a simple 'Kay'. All it said was they were shopping and they'll be back after 2. Also that they were going to take Zayn but he was still tired. I knew he felt bad about leaving me with Zayn but it didn't matter. I wasn't mad at Zayn actually quit the opposite. I missed him. Yeah he crossed the line when practically calling me a whore but it was just the heat of the moment. The only thing that still pissed me off though was how he asked if I was pregnant with Harry's baby. Maybe I did spend a lot of time with him but he made me feel better. It was easy to talk to him. I could only hope it would be as easy to talk to Zayn as it is to Harry. He obviously knew everything now and I couldn't hide it from him anymore. We were going to have to talk I was just to chickened out to make the first move.
“What are you watching?” I jumped and grabbed my heart. It was beating fast in my chest. “Oh my god you scared the shit out of me.” I laughed under my breath as I turn to face Zayn. His hair was messy but still managed to look sexy. All he had was a pair of green plaid pajama bottoms on leaving his chest in view. I quickly turned away, blushing, before he could tell I was gawking at him. “Sorry I didn't mean to scare you.” He slowly walked over to the couch and plopped down. By the way he looked and walked I could tell he was still tired. “You can change it. I- I'm not really watching anything.” I don't know why but being around him made me nervous. Maybe it was the fact that he now knew my whole past.
Instead of changing the channel he turned it off and turned his body towards me. He grabbed both my wrist softly making me turn towards him. I leaned my back against the arm chair