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I Squealed With Them, And then We Were Interrupted By The Bell For Practice. We Walked Through The Front Doors, And Too The Doors To Lead to The Field Out Back. Greg Kissed My Cheek And Waved Me Goodbye As I Walked Up The Bleachers. He Was My Prince Charming, My Night In Shining Armour. I Smiled At The Thought Of Him. The Guys Ran There Laps, The Girls Cheering And Laughing, Looking At There Muscles. The Only Hot Guys Were Ryan, Greg, Carl And Jordin. They All Had Muscle, Nice Abs, but They Weren’t All The Greatest Guys. They Were All Assholes. Except For Greg Of Corse. They All Treated Girls Like Meat, A Dirty Piece Of Meat. I rolled My Eyes At Carl Winking Me From The Field. When Practice Was Over They Ran Through the School In Sweat; Cheering On there Successful “Playbook”. I Tried To Find Greg But There Wasn’t A Sign Of Him. Bell rang For the First Period and I Took My Seat Walking into Class, Art. I Sit Beside Aurora, Who After 15 Minutes Into Class Was Handing Me A Note. Thinking It Was From Her I Smiled And Opened It Only To Read. “Were Over Babe, Sorry”. I Felt My Eyes Welt Up, But I Held in My Breath Hard To Hold From Puking. It Felt Like I Was Dry Swallowing A Big Pill. I Could Feel My Heart Racing, And My Face Getting Red. I Looked Over At Greg, His Smile Went To A Frown At My Sadness. I Felt Water. I Couldn’t Cry Infront Of the Class. They Would All Think I Was Pathetic. I Wasn’t Going To Let Greg Win, Let Him See Me Like that. But He Had Won, And He Would See Me Like That. I Stretched Up My Hand And Asked To Go To The Washroom. The Teacher Nodded Me Acceptance And I Grabbed My Things Rushing To The Bathroom Holding My books Against My Chest. I ran Into The bathroom, Slamming Into A Stall I Locked In And Dropped To The Ground. I Hung My Head Over My Knees, With My Hair Over My Face, I Felt Like Dying. The Tears Wouldn’t Stop. Over A Fucking Note! I Smashed My Head Back Against The Stall Wall A Couple Times until It Hit Me. I Let Him Get To My Head, He Made Me his Little Malibu Barbie, My So Called Prince Charming Turned Out To Be A Conceded Jerk Face With A Heart Of Stone And Soul Of Metal. I Let “Popularity” Get To My Head. All That Skinny Jean, Moccasin, Perfect Shit, All To My Head. I Lost Myself, And Not To Mention For A Stupid Jackass. I Sighed, Slowing Down My Pace. I Swallowed My Tears, And Took In A Breath. I Let In out And Sat There Realizing all I Did, All I Changed, All I … Lost. Thinking Of Logan Made Me Want To Cry More. “How Could I Be So Stupid!” I Screamed To Myself. The Words Echoed The Stalls And So Did A Knock At The Door. I Jumped. Practically Slapping Away My Tears I Stood Up And Unlocked The Stall; Rushing Out. If It Was A Girl, Why Knock? Maybe It Wasn’t A Girl Then. I Walked To The Door And Opened It To See A Tall, Black Haired, Green/Blueish Eyed Former Best Friend. “Iz?” My Tears Poured Again. He Was The Only One Who Called Me “Iz”. Everyone Else Called Me “Izzie, or Lizard”. My Eyes Got Heavy With Water. He Tightened His Grip Around My Waist With One Hand, Rubbing My Hair With His Other. His Shirt Would Be Ruined after I Was done Resting On it With My Black Eyes, And Wet Face. That’s Why I Never Were Mascara. I Let Out A Sigh And Pulled Away Looking Up At Him. “Im So Sorry” I Sniffed In. I Ran Off With My Things And Out The Front Doors. I Didn’t Know Where I Was Going, But I Kept Running. Hearing Sirens At A Distance, People Laughing, And Talking Down The Road. I Stopped At An Old Park Down The Street From School. I Sat Under A Tree And Began With Logan’s Coping Skill. It Worked For him Didn’t It? For A Few Brief Seconds My Heartache Was Gone; But Soon I Was Left With Just Blood, And Tears. I Closed My Eyes, And Collapsed Back Into The Grass. Letting Out Another Sigh, I Felt My Eyes Get Weak, I Knew I Was About To Fall Asleep.
To Deal...


I Woke Up, Under The Tree, Looking Like A Dirty Hobo. People Were Starring Me Down. I Didn’t Care? I Don’t Care Anymore. I Got Up And Walked A Bit Along The Path. Everything in The Distance, Sounds, People. I Stopped At A Old Water Fountain And Rinsed My Face, With The Water I Held In My Cupped Hands.. Holding On The Edges of The Fountain I Took In A Deep Breath. I Felt Light Headed. Dizzy. Tired. Weak. I Looked Down At My Dried, Blood Filled Wrist, And Hung It Under The Faucet, Letting The Water Rinse Off The Blood. It Became More Red, And Flowed Down My Arm, Dripping On The Cement Pathway. I Remembered Everything By That Time. The Break Up, the Bathroom, Logan, The Cuts. Only Thing I Could Do Was Cry. My Eyes Got Glossy, And Blurred over. I Blinked And A Single Tear Fell Off My Cheek. It Hit The Puddle Of Water In The Bottom Of The Fountain With A Splat. It Was Silent To Others, But To Me, It Was Like I Could Hear It A Mile Away. I Sniffed In, Let Out My Breath, And Tried To Relax. Only To My Misfortune I Let Back In My Pain And Ended Up Palming The Edge Of The Hard Rock Water Fountain. I Stormed Of Slapping Away The Tears Off My Face. I Knew I Would Have to Deal. I Had School? I Can’t Drop Out Over A Fucking Idiotic Jock. Time To Change Back To The Old Me. Time To Find Logan. I Walked Back To The “Bed Time Tree” to Grab My Books. Looking At My Phone I Had A Hour An A Half To Get To School. I Was Only 15-17 Minutes Away; Tops. So I Ran Off Home To Change. I Was Wearing Slut Clothes. If I Was Going Back To The Old Me, I Had To Change My Appearance. I Was Thinking Black? I Walked About 2 Blocks, Then Got To My House. My Mom Still Wasn’t Home From Work, Business Trip I’m Guessing. So Unlocked The Front Door, And I Walked In. She Was Never Home. When She Was Home, She Gave Me Cool Things Like Phones Or Laptops. I Went Up Stairs And To The Bathroom. I Had To Wash Off , So I Took A Quick Shower, Then Put On Black Jeans, And A Grey Tank Top. I Unwrapped The Towel From My Head And Scrunched My Hair Into It. I Messed My Hair in My Fingers, It Was Wet, Wavy, A Down. I Took A Few Locks And Made A Small Side Bang Braid then Twisted It Around My Head And Clipped It Tight. I Put Some Light Eye Liner, To Bring Out My Eyes; And Looked In The Mirror. “Its Just School” I Said Under My Breath. I Ran Downstairs, Put On Some High Converse, Grabbed My bag And Started Walking To School. I Was A Little Late, I Walked In The Front Doors, To The Office To get My Late Slip, To My Locker Then Stopped In front Of My English Class. Both Greg And Logan Were In This Class, Greeeeat. I Sighed. I Turned The Knob Slowly, And Walked In. Mrs. Pugh Was Standing There, Head Turned To Me, Hand On Her Broken Hip. “Sorry I’m Late” I Said Quietly as I Placed the Slip on Her Desk. “Nice Of you To Join Us, New Look Mrs. Elizabeth?” She Said In A Rather Calm Tone. “Yeah, I Suppose” I Smirked At Logan. His Eyes Locked At Mine. I Really Felt Bad That I Betrayed Him. When We Were Little It was Always “We’ll Be Best Friends Forever” I broke That Most Important Promise. I Sighed In My Head, I Sat At My Seat, In the Back, Near No-one. In My Other Classes, I Sit With Preps. English Is My Favorite Class Though. I Was Good At It, I Understood It, And The Teacher Wasn’t Bad Either. The Picked Students Handed Out The Sheets, And Text Books, When I Got Mine, I Was Finished In Less Than 20 Minutes. Class Was An Hour long. So I Handed In My Paper, And Rested My Head On My Desk. I Kept Thinking About Greg. I Looked Over At Him. With His Much Too Friendly Chick, Gnawing On His Ear. Kissing His Cheek. Brooke. A Slut. I Loved Him And He Broke My Heart. I Did Everything Right For Him, I Even Changed For him. I Felt A Tap On My Shoulder. I Turned To See Logan, With A Worried look On His Face. I Said The First Words. “Can We talk At Lunch?”… I Asked. He Nodded And Left Class. Apparently I Feel Asleep For The Last 40 Minutes. I slid my books of the Edge of the Desk and Walked out The Door Bumping Into Greg. He Stopped Me As I Tried To Storm Off. Grabbing My Wrist I Jerked His Arm Off Mine. “Don’t! I Calmed My Voice, Touch Me.” I Said Strongly. “What’s wrong!?, What’s Up With You Wrists!” I Screamed. All Eyes Were On Us. Kids in This School Are Waiting on People like Me to Make a Scene with the Popular’s. Only I Used To Be One, So More People Watched. “What’s wrong?! Pfft!, And Nothing Is Wrong With My Wrists, You’re a Jerk” I Screamed. Trying To Walk Away He Stopped Me Again. Logan Looked At Me With Sad Eyes, That I Avoided. I Looked Back At Greg. “How Am I A Jerk? It’s Not My Fault Your Sensitive!?” He Said. “Sensitive, You Dumped Me, Randomly, And You Expect Me To Be Calm And Rational!?” I Said Back. More And More People Started Starring As Our Voices Got Stronger And Higher. I Definitely Wasn’t Going To Let Him Win, He Humiliated Me Once, And I Was Going To Do The Same To Him. “I Wasn’t Into You Anymore, I Moved On, And Yes You Should Be Calm And Rational!” He Said Laughing. “Oh, Right, you moved On To The Next Slut You Can Get your Hands Onto” I Rolled My Eyes. He Looked Over A Brooke, Who Had A Rage Bolt Right Down Her Middle. “Don’t Give Me That Look, you’re a Slut And You Know It” He Face Grew Red And Her Clung To Greg Stopped. Greg Snickered. Your Laughing At Her? You’re a Slut Too, Technically Speaking, You Tried To Get In My Pants Many Times, But Your Balls Shrunk Each Time I Sacked You For Trying, So Stay Away From Me, And The People I Love” I Glanced At Logan Slightly Than The

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