Cliche - ninja jinx (the two towers ebook .txt) š
- Author: ninja jinx
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You know those clichƩ stories where the popular guy gets the nerd. Where they go through all this crazy drama, with orange bleached blondes and face a life and death situation. Where the guy proposes his undying love and then they run off into the distance?
Well what happens if I told you that this nerd was my best friend and this popular guy was the bad boy who put his act together. Or that the nerd turned beautiful and turned her back on me. Changing herself to someone who she wasnāt. Changing into the āfakesā who we always made fun off.
No one of course noticed these changes till it was too late. Gone was the shy quite and feisty nerd, and in her place was this crazed power hungry girl, with two sides. It wasnāt long before she started sleeping around the football team. Before the bad boy returned and stirred trouble.
Thus this clichƩ story which was the envy of many turned into a disgusting fantasy. And I unfortunately had a front row seat in watching it all play out.
Now youāre probably really confused in how I come into this. Well I was a bystander, a friend and companion who went to the nerdās house to give her a shoulder to cry on when the bad boy āsupposedly cheatedā on her, you know the usual. However if I had known she would have turned into a backstabbing bitch, I would have slapped her and left her to rot.
Donāt get me wrong, I love, no adore my best friend, but all the cruel things sheās done drew the line. Like the time she poured milk down Barryās back. Poor kid was only a little overweight and had to face her wrath because apparently, āhe was being to fatā, which was against the popularās rule book.
I donāt even get that. Itās absurd and weird, but that was high school. And this is my story. (Wow talk about clichĆ©)
Oh wait did I mention it all started with āIām pregnantāā¦.
The really long prologue....
The really long prologueā¦.
Ok how do you start a prologue?
Whatās even the point of them?
Frankly I think there a waste of time. Like what do you write, how do you start, where is the starting pointā¦.You know what, how about we get down to business instead? Iām going to have to start from the start; itāll give you a background.
Is that was a prologue is?
Anyhowā¦.
It started as any day hadā¦for me that is. I woke up to birds chirping and the sun streaming through my curtains, the smell of freshly made pancakes drifting to my nose. It was heaven- wait hang on. You seriously didnāt believe that crap did you? Are you high? Who wakes up to that perfection?
Ok this is how it really happened.
I wake up to underwear on my face. Yes, you heard it (or in this case read it) I woke up to the fresh smell of dirty underwear. Superman underwear to be exact. And it certainly wasnāt mine!
So whose may it be, you ask? Well my dear idiot-of-a-loser brother, Jon. It was an ordinary three letter word name, simple so my brother can spell it. He was stupid of course, and had the brain of a pea, and the looks of an ass. So I guess mum must have known when he parachuted out of her, that he would need a simple name.
Itās beyond me how girls, and I quote, find him āto die forā, and āsexy as hellā, when he couldnāt even do simple mathās and had to repeat a million times. They must be stupid, and blind, and stupidā¦oh and did I mention stupid. Because all he knows is how to color coloring sheets, and even then he canāt color in-between the lines! Itās sad, wait no, unbelievingly sad, cause truth be told he doesnāt even have a mental disability!
However either than the sad case, our family is pretty average; in my terms that is. Everything you expect a typical family not to be. One my mum is always bent over the computer and typing away on, I have no clue about. And my dad is frying away on the stove top in his frilly pink apron. He says itās āvery now a daysā, whatever that means. So really the roles are reverse with them.
Oh and me, well Iām just your typical nerd. Ok, no Iām not. Yes Iām smart, and yes I wear glasses, but isnāt that normal after you read āhow to kill a mocking birdā about a billion times in the dark? Really I only got my glasses three weeks ago, and itās my entire dadās fault.
He went into this mode, where he does crazy things. Itās like a mood swing, but can last about a month or something. And when you donāt do what he wants, well letās just say he goes into a pregnant women slash period era, and hell it gets ugly. So the best thing to do is follow the instructions to avoid bloodshed and world war 3.
For example, last time I didnāt he went into a full on hissy fit with his hands flying everywhere. Then he burst into tears and ate, no devoured our chocolate pile! And if we tried to save some, he would bitch slap us to China and back.
So like I said, I was wearing glasses because apparently he wanted to āsave the environment by not consuming any energyā. That meant no electricity after 9pm and no air conditioning in the summer! It was above forty in the damn house, that I could have fried eggs and bacon.
Torture, pure torture.
It also was because of him I got an āBā instead of an āA+ā. Stupid man. (Though if heās reading this, all I have to say is āsorryā)
Now where was I in the story; sorry I seem to get carried away sometimes. One of the many downfalls of me.
Oh yeah, so like I was saying. I woke up with two thoughts in my head.
1) Why the hell was there underwear on my face
And
2) What was for breakfast
Ok so the second thought wasnāt important, but living with my family this becomes a daily occurrence. So just brushing of the item of clothing from my face, I got up and stretched.
I would like to say I was average in height, but I, being only 5ā2 at the age of 17 would make that complete bullishit. And I donāt want to lie to you, because we all know lying in a no-no.
So like I was saying, I went through my daily routine of having a 3 minute shower (another thing my dad restricted), brushed my hair and grabbed my water proof, seal tight, black, $39.99 bag. If Iām going to be nerd, might as well act as one, right?
If you ever come to my house and happen to walk out of my room first; for some weird reason. Then the first thing you would notice was the state of it. It wasnāt covered in grim and looked like a tornado hit it, then a monkey came with an ape friend and pooped all over it.
Truth be told, it was clean as a hospital.
White walls, white tiles, white flowers, and even a damn white cat! It was all white. No color. No pictures. And it was a wonder how I havenāt gone crazy yet! You would have thought that, with an artistic dad and all, the walls would be covered inā¦inā¦something!
But my mumās the man or she-man of the house and governs everything. This was the only thing she puts her foot down on. Says something about ākeeping appearanceā and all that shit. Doesnāt make sense to meā¦
I walk downstairs, combing my hair with my fingers and balancing my bag on my shoulder while holding my shoes, textbooks, laptop and aā¦sock?
You know how I said that the house was freakishly clean, well implied it. Well my room is like a tornado hit it, followed by a nuclear explosion from Hitler and a strip dace from my brother. And this āsockā was one of the many I had lost.
See not all nerds are clean, and keep tags on everything with those weird stickers stuck onto diaries!
I grab the piece of offending cloth and put it in a hamper which my mum leaves downstairs, ācos apparently she predicts that Iāll always come down with a piece of clothing stuck to my assā. (Mind my French)
Maybe sheās right. Ok, sheās always right. Sheās one of those people who knows what to say all the time. Gets annoying sometimes because rarely anything leaves her speechless, unless of course itās the new harry potter book.
Leaves her so excited she could pee her pants. Sheās a secrete fan. Has all the movies on blue ray and video, and even has her own costume with the wand and broom stick. She even tried making me a fan! Of course I saw the effects and refused.
Iām not saying the books or movies are bad. In fact there good, that sometimes I invite Sarah to come watch them. We have a marathon with chips and the usual junk food. That was before everything spiraled out of control of course. When we were still friendsā¦
So as I said (or wrote) I put the āsockā in the hamper and walked into the kitchen, where my dad was preparing his special. Wait for itā¦ āEggs with soya sauce, grated cheese and olives. Burnt bread (says it gives a sweet bitter taste) with jam and sugar, and a glass of milk.
Thinks he could win a cooking title with thatā¦aā¦ āThingā of a creation. He probably could, but a title of the worst cook. He doesnāt get that he canāt cook to save his life, or that he would get us all sick if we ate that.
And truth be told it happened to Jon once. Stupid boy ate dadās creation, and was rushed to hospital and put in intensive care. Was knocked out for three days from food poisoning. So mum sneaks us some money to go to the coffee shop down the street and buy some edible things. Though Jon just goes to the shops and buys some cigars. Makes him look ācoolā. Bullshit.
For one, he doesnāt even use them and just gives them to his mates, who give them to their mates. It probably gets passed on, like pass the parcel. Till of course it reaches the schools bad boy. The ultimate dark horse or black stallion of our school. The hottest of the hot, the devil in all his glory, the dark angel from hell, theā¦you get the point.
The point is heās feared, envied and lusted over. Ok, I admit it, for one time in my short life, I liked him. But gosh if you were to ever see him; either on the street or something, you would too! Itās a normal female reaction, and luckily I got over him a day or so later. After of course he destroyed the school science lab, stopping me from finishing my project which was
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