Meant (To Be Yours) - Anaya Phoenix (list of ebook readers .txt) 📗

not really afraid of you. I birthed the freaking Red Luna. I face worse things at 3 in the morning than you on a rage run.” Molly said simply and followed Sarah into the house.
“Molly, shouldn’t you be helping Thomas?” Sarah snapped out as they hit the stairs, she turned to face her friend and found mischievous glint in her black eyes.
“We aren’t really on speaking terms right now.” She said trailing off.
“Because of the Valerie thing?”
“Because of the Valerie thing, yes. That and he’s been being really insensitive about the whole Sammy being heart broken and pregnant thing, really starting to piss me off.” Molly agreed and put her hands in the front pockets of her dark rinse pants.
“Are you… Are you wearing mom jeans?” Sarah said, looking down at her friend with a slight smirk on her friends horrified face.
“No, these are not mom jeans, they’re just a little baggier than my normal- yeah they’re mom jeans. I’m only wearing them because I burned my old maternity clothes as soon as I got back from the hospital… and I need them again.” She said shrugging lightly and smiling a little. Sarah laughed a small happy laugh, then another. Quickly those laughs turned hysterical and soon she sat on the staircase, crying into her hands. She just couldn’t take it anymore. So many things were happening in her life and her string, the one thing she had tied down, was just flying haphazardly in the winds of her new life. The string just dragged her along, making her hit obstacle after obstacle, but yet she wouldn’t let go… couldn’t. If she let go, then how would she remember? How would she remember her old life, the one that made her who she was? She couldn’t let go of that string, because then she’d be no better than her mother. At that thought she sobbed even harder, making Molly wrap her arms around her friend.
“Oh baby, this is it. Let it out, everything. Just let go.” She couldn’t! Nobody understood it, but she just couldn’t! When she was little she never forgot anything, never let go of anything, because everything was too important. A slight breeze on a sunny day in the park, she’d remember, her falling off of a bike and nobody there to kiss her knee because she wanted to be a big girl, she’d remember. She wouldn’t ever forget, couldn’t ever forget, because then it would be like she never lived. Like he was never alive, never there. She let out a heart wrenching sob and they heard a loud howl emanating from outside. She howled under her breath, not wanting to give into his love song.
“C’mon baby, lets get you upstairs.” Molly said, right before she lifted Sarah into her arms and made her way upstairs.

(Molly’s POV)

 

She couldn’t stand for anybody to cry, especially her friend. You’d think a werewolf would be heavy, at least a little, but to Molly it was as easy as picking up her daughter. Sarah didn’t scare her, because she had LunaRosa Green as a daughter. No crying was too much, no glaring was too fierce. She settled her friend into her bed, still quaking and sobbing, and tucked her in.
“Want me to stay until you’ve finished?” She asked softly and Sarah nodded nimbly. Molly sighed softly and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Thomas says that he could never envision you crying, that you’re too tough to cry. That fire would fall down instead of tears. I told him that you only act that way, that your whole tough nut stuff is just a wall. A brick wall covered in the toughest metal that’s been covered in cement. Behind that wall though, you’re just a girl. A girl who’s father was taken away from her too soon, a girl who’s life is complicated and heart breaking. You’re not as strong as you want to be, are you?” Molly asked, rubbing Sarah’s back as she cried into the pillow. Sarah shook her head sullenly and Molly nodded.
“You can’t always be tough, you cannot always be fearless because there is always fear. You fear that you’re not fearless enough, that your father would hate you if you cried. Baby he doesn’t hate you, he never could and never will. I never knew your father, but Thomas has told me stories about him. He said that one time, when you were five, he punched a little kid in the face because he tugged on one of your pigtails…honey that’s love. Love that will not change, not even death can break that. He’s here, right now, because he sensed that you needed him. Every time a tear is shed from one of your eyes he zooms here and sits by you, waiting for it to be over.” Molly said, remembering those same words being told to her by one of the orphan children when she had ran to Texas. Her parents hadn’t been dead, so the words had been changed a little but it had the same effect.
“You think so?” Sarah’s small voice said, a watery eye blinking up at her.
“I know so. If you’d let your mom in you wouldn’t be so alone.” Molly said, discretely putting in the suggestion. Molly had grown to be friends with Sasha and knew she felt pain that her daughter couldn’t bear to be in the same room as her. Molly knew that Sasha had barely been out of her room on the highest level in the house.
“My mom left because she thought she couldn’t handle it… she couldn’t handle the attention not being on her, she couldn’t handle taking care of not only one but two other people. I’m not afraid of being a wimp, because I’m not. I’m strong, and I’m capable. Yeah, I screw up some times but I fix it. Because that’s the Montgomery way. I’m afraid that I’ll be like her. That, when the time comes, I’m gonna run away. That I’ll run away and just forget everything that I’ve worked so hard to accomplish.” That’s when Molly got it. Sarah was stronger than she had thought. Her life had been an array of up’s and down’s but she had strived to keep hold of it. To not forget it. That was her fear. She wasn’t afraid of being fearful, she wasn’t afraid of showing her anger. She was afraid that when everything was said and done and the sun went down, she would forget everything, leave everything behind. For that she truly admired her friend.

Chapter 19

(Sarah’s POV)

 

It had felt good to finally let everything out, without fear of sounding shallow. Molly gave off the air of a peer mediator, someone you could talk to easily. Her door opened a little and a blond head poked in.
“Mom, can I hang in here with you guys?” Samantha’s voice had changed significantly since Sarah had last heard her. This time it was stronger, more mature.
“Sure honey.” Molly said and scooted over on the bed, patting the empty space where she once sat. Sam’s small body entered the room and Sarah barely held in a surprised gasp. The girl’s stomach had a small lump, barely the size of a basketball but very easily recognizable. How long had it been since she’d last seen her? Two… three weeks? Her belly shouldn’t be that big at three weeks. Sarah knew that wolves grew faster, therefore had lesser time in the womb. But regular wolf moms held their babies for 3 months, at three weeks their belly was the size of a large orange. The only way her stomach would be that big would be because… but that was impossible he was just a kid. Molly sent her a look and Sarah snuggled deeper into the comforter. It seemed her and Sammy had all too much in common.
“Hey Sarah, haven’t seen you since you were wiping tears off my face and telling me he didn’t deserve me. How’s life been treating you?” Sammy said lightly and Sarah peeked at her behind her wall.
“Sucky huh? Same here, this little guy never stops kicking. Can never get a break, how about-“
“Time for lunch Sammy!!” Molly yelled, cutting the girl off. Sarah furrowed her brow but said nothing. She’d come to terms with the fact that Molly was weird and nobody could do anything to change that.


She came down later just to get food, when her ears caught something, something masculine and feminine all in one. That was impossible… right? She followed the sound to a slightly opened door further down the hall from her room. She looked around and hoped nobody saw her spying, not that she cared, but she still hoped no one saw. Pushing the door open just a crack she sucked in a breath at what she saw. There, kissing another man, was Jared. They looked to be getting really hot and heavy so she backed away, closing the door carefully. Jared was gay!!! She hadn’t seen that coming, that was the worlds biggest curveball. She’d heard him having sex with girls, seen him make out with girls, hell she’d been one of the girls he’d hit on! Shaking her head she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was in there, peas on his cheek, but she didn’t care. She merely went to the fridge and took out some of the refrigerated beef stew that had been saved, grabbed a spoon, and turned to go back upstairs. He didn’t try and stop her and she knew why. He could sense that she needed “time”, as he so called it, and he wasn’t going to bother her until he felt that she’d had enough “time”… Whatever. She didn’t need “time”, she needed something else. Something normal people like to call truth. As she walked back up the stairs her hearing picked up on something else. It wasn’t on her floor, it was on the floor above them. The elder’s floor. She quickly blocked it out. She couldn’t handle too many surprises in one day, it would drain her mentally and she was already pretty tapped out in that department. Her stomach grumbled loudly and she put her hand over the flat canvas. She hadn’t been eating regularly, which wasn’t a good thing when it came werewolves. They tended to be rude and volatile when hungry. She high tailed it to her room and sat on her bed in the dark. She took a deep breath and opened the Tupperware container and dug in.


She woke up before the sun rose feeling energetic but crummy. How that happened, she didn’t know. She moved to get up but only realized that she was held down, by a big caramel arm blocking her from rising. Anger and sadness arose in her and she moved his arm from around her waist, longing for it’s comfort and warmth. She couldn’t find it in her to fight with him today, her wall was coming down. She was just too tired to go through it with him, for today. Tomorrow, though, she’d kick his ass back and forth for this. In this moment, this selected time slot, she would let him have this small victory. She looked at