Undisclosed Desires - Bridget Kathleen (ebooks online reader txt) 📗

hanging at his side.

"Dis boy don' know when ta quite!" said Racetrack. Everyone laughed.

On their way back to the Brooklyn lodging house Spot put a hand on Sophia's side. Sophia looked up at Spot and smiled.
"You've grown." she told him.

Spot looked down at her. "Have I?" he laughed a little.

This made Sophia blush. Before tonight, Spot had never laughed all that much. What had changed in him? His hair was little longer. A few wisps swaying in the wind on the back of his neck. His body was looking more and more like a grown man each day. "You've changes, Spot?" Sophia suddenly said.

This surprised Spot a little. "What do you mean?" he asked her.
"Everything about you has changed. Your looks, the way you carry yourself. You don't walk all still or as if your pain anymore."

Spot couldn't help but chuckle. "You've changed me, Smalls. You did." he kissed her four head.

When they reached the lodging house, Spot held Sophia's hands as he led her up stairs.

"Your being rather...odd tonight." said Sophia.

"Odd?" Spot acted as if he shocked to hear Sophia say that and then laughed. "I'se just bein' nice, Smalls."

Sophia raised a brow. "Yes, well. This 'nice' is rather odd. Just thought you should know this." she smiled.

Spot then opened the door and let Sophia walk in first. Right away Spot took off his clothes. Sophia turned around to see a Spot in nothing but his underwear and already he was getting ready to take those off too.

"SPOT? What are you doing.

"Ah , don't you'se have a cow. Jus' gettin' ready for a bath is all." he then slipped off his underwear and was now completely naked. Sophia glanced down for but a second and then turned around. Her face was as read as an apple.

"I think I'll just get right into bed." she said and started slipp off her shoes. Spot walked past her and headed right to his washroom. Sophia glanced up and saw a naked Spot butt for a few seconds. She smiled to herself and blushed again. That is a nice butt, she thought to herself and continued to get ready for bed.

Spot on the other hand, sighed as soon as he closed the washroom door. His hands shaking. He was putting on a brave face for Sophia. In the inside he was scared. Terrified in fact. And it was about the baby. Sure he was fine now about having it, but what about Sophia? Lots of woman died giving birth. What id Sophia were to die giving birth? He'd never get over it. He then walked over to the tub and started to fill it up. When it got to a certain height he stopped and slipped right in. He was used to the cold so after a while he sat back, trying to relax.

Sophia sat on the bed, brushing her hair right before bed. When she set the brush down on the dresser a sharp pain ran through her stomach. She leaned forward a bit, holding on to her gut. The pain came again. She stood up fast, now leaning against the dresser with one hand and the other still held on to her stomach. The pain came a third time and finally a release of pain left her body. She felt it trail down her legs and even felt a puddle forming at her feet. She was afraid to look down. She did not want to have to admit what was to come or what had came and was now passed. She closed her eyes tightly and a few tears streamed down her face. Still not looking down she took her free hand and trailed it down to her private area. She was wet. Finally she opened her eyes and looked at her finger tips. Red. Her eyes shot open and suddenly she looked down. A pool of blood circled around her feet. She could feel some blood dripping down. She gave out a loud scream and cried out Spot's name "SPOT!"

Spot shot up in his bath when he heard Sophia. He then heard her call out to him again. He got out of the tub so fast he slipped at first and landed hard on his side. Even though it hurt he ignored the pain and grabbed the towel hanging off the side of the tub and covered himself up. When he burst the door open he stopped. He was frozen with fear when he saw Sophia standing in a puddle of blood. Her blood. She slowly turned her head and looked back at Spot. Tears ran down her cheeks uncontrollably. Her lips quivered, her eyes red and whole body shaking.

"I'm sorry..." she told him, choking out every word. Her eyes then went in the back of her head and she started to collapse. Spot got to her just in time and caught her in his arms. He slowly sat down, setting her down with him and cradled her in his arms. Tears now formed in his eyes and he buried his face in her neck.

"No...I'm sorry...I'm sorry." Spot continued to hold the unconscious Sophia in his arms, repeatedly saying that he was sorry and rocking her back and forth. Spot felt a terrible guilt. He first wanted Sophia to get rid of the baby and almost lost her in the process. Now the baby really was gone and he felt as if he was to blame for the whole thing.
Chapter Seventeen: Bad thoughts.

Spot stayed by Sophia's side as she laid in bed. She had been laying there for two days now. The doctor said that she lost a lot of blood and no boubt, lost the baby in the process. This made Spot cringe. What if she never wakes up? Spot thought to himself. For the past few days, Sophia had only awaken a few moments and only for so long till she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore and she could hardly stay awake when Spot tried to feed some broth. She often fell back to sleep, listening to the sound of Spot's voice. What if she stays like this until she really does die? Spot did not want to think about death, especially now, but he could not escape from it. It continued to poison his mind.

Suddenly, Sophia stirred, grabbing Spot's attention right away.
"Smalls?" he said quietly. She moaned this time. "...Sophia?"

Finally her eyes fluttered open. She remained staring up at the ceiling. "Spot?"

Spot inched closer to her, grabbing her hand and holding on to it. It was cold, but Spot was sure his warm hands did her some good.

"Water." Sophia said slowly. Her voice cracking.

Spot hurried and grabbed a tall glass of water. He lifted her head and tilted the glass so that the water flowed into her mouth slowly. When she had drank all that she could, Sophia rested her head back down again. This time though, she did not fall back asleep.

"How long as it been?" she asked Spot.

"Two days."
Sophia made no movement or comment on his answer but continued to talk. "I'm sorry, Spot."
Spot gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?" he was startled by her question.

"For losing the baby." she said quietly, her voice sounding a little better than before.

Spot shook his head. "No, no. That wasn't your fault. That was no one's fault. If anyone's it be me own fault."

Before Sophia could utter another word, the lodging house keeper walked in. He slowly walked up behind Spot. He glanced down at Sophia and smiled warmly. He then turned his attention towards Spot.

"It's pay day, Mr. Conlon." and he reached out his hand. Spot sighed and dug and through his pants pocket, pulling out a dollar. He slapped into the old man's hands and sighed. The lodging house man looked back at Sophia and smiled again and then he was off.

"How much money do we have left?" asked Sophia.

Spot slouched in his chair, ran a hand through his hair and said, "Two dollars."

Sophia's eyes widened. "What?"

Spot gave in. He decided to give in and let Sophia in on the news. "I'se hasen't been sellin' very many papes lately. I mean...I try every day, but...I jus' can't seem ta sell 'em all in one day."

"It's stress." Sophia stated. Spot said nothing.

After a few moments of silence, Spot crawled into bed with Sophia and put his arms around her. There they fell asleep within seconds.

Later that night, Sophia woke from her deep sleep. She looked over at Spot. He was still sleeping. She then looked out the window. It was still dark. Figures, she thought. Memories of the other night then filled her mind. She started to cry, but suddenly stopped. She was tired of crying, tired of being and getting hurt all the time. Tired of everything. Sophia quietly slipped out of bed. It was then when she noticed that she was wearing one of Spots larger shirts. It was a grey and buttons up shirt that reached to her knees. The floor was cold and she could feel the cold air seeping through the cracks of the window. She wrapped her arms around herself, but it was no use. She let her arms fall and decided to take on the cold.

She walked over to the door leading outside of her and Spot's room. She reached for the handle. At first she hesitated and looked back at Spot. Afraid that he would wake up and stop her from going out. He did not wake though and she turned her gaze back on the knob. She placed her hand on it. It was cold as she turned it and opened the door. It creaked it. She looked back again, Spot hardly moved an inch. He must be really tired, she thought.

Sophia walked out of the room and down the stairs. They seemed to creek more this night. It figured, but no one woke up from it. She peered into the other newsie boys rooms. They were all dead asleep. She closed it and took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Sophia then made her way to the front door. She stopped for but a moment and then opened it. A gush of freezing cold wind blew in, making her shiver to the bone. She stepped outside and quietly closed the door behind her. Not a single soul lingered in the streets or alley ways. The night was far too cold and anyone out at this time of night was crazy. She laughed to herself then. Perhaps she was going crazy.

As she walked she got closer to the Brooklyn bridge. The magnificent bridge looked lonely in the dark even if the stars were out and shining brightly and the