Undisclosed Desires - Bridget Kathleen (ebooks online reader txt) 📗

moon, big and full of light. Very little clouds showed though. She took her first step onto the bridge. It was icy and the air smelt salty. Sophia looked down at the water. It was half frozen. She then got an idea. That water sure looks nice and cold. She swallowed hard and grabbed onto the railings. She pulled herself up onto the top of the railing, while still holding on to some bars. She looked down at the water again. She lifted her foot, ready to jump. The water seemed very welcoming.

She could do it. She could it now. End it. End it all. All it took was one jump. One step. Suddenly the wind blew hard and she lost her footing a second, but that second cost her. Within seconds all her thoughts of Tommy, her family, Spot. Her baby, all the newsie and even her uncle flooded her mind. In the last second she grabbed on to the railing, the rest of her body dangled in the air, high above the icy water. She was so consumed with fear that she couldn't cry out. She felt her heart beat rapidly. She slowly, but surely lifted herself back on to the bridge. She flopped on the ground. Her whole body shook. What am I doing, she thought. This isn't like me.

After a while of laying there, she picked herself back up and the wind seemed much colder now. She wrapped her arms around herself and ran back to the lodging house. When she returned, everything was the same as before. She slowly and quietly walked back up to her Spot's room. Closed the door tightly behind her and snuck back into bed. In doing so, Spot opened his eyes half way.

"Smalls?" he said tiredly.

Sophia softly shushed him back to sleep and she snuggled up close to him for warmth. Spot was really warm. No wonder he liked to sleep naked or half naked. His body gave off so much heat. But tonight he wore his clothes. Even this weather was cold to him.

A few tears then ran down Sophia's cheeks. She wasn't crying because she was sad, but she was relieved. Happy that she didn't jump. Happy that she didn't leave Spot and all her friends behind. She cuddled up closer to Spot. Getting as close as she could to him. He sleepy face was cute. She smiled a little, but that smile soon faded. She kissed his four head and then rubbed her nose against his and fell right back to sleep.
Chapter Eighteen: Sleep walking and lullabys.

Spot woke up in the middle of the night. He was cold and found the bedroom window wide open. He Shivered and quickly closed it, making the cold wind blow in. When he laid back down he realized something was missing. Or someone. Where was Sophia.

"Smalls?" he said quietly. He noticed that her pillow was gone. He felt the side of her bed. She had been away for a while. Was she on top of the roof! Spot freaked out, opened the window again and was about to jump out when he heard a small creak come from behind him. He stopped and turned around. To his great relief, Sophia was still in the room, but something was off. She did not seem like herself. "Smalls?" he said again, only quieter this time. He closed the window and stepped off the bed and walked towards the crouched figure of Sophia. "Sophia? Are you ok?"

She remained crouched down in the corner of the room, rocking herself back and forth while holding on to her pillow. She mumbled to herself quietly. Spot could only make out a few words: Cold. Baby. Safe. Suddenly she stood up, still mumbling and slowly she turned around. Spot was shocked by the look on her face. She seemed to be sleep walking, but at the same time her eyes were open. They had a certain dazed look to them. She was not herself at all.

Spot inched closer to her, ready to pull her back into bed, but she stepped back, clutching on to the pillow tighter and making an uneasy groan. Finally, she spoke a clear sentence, "My baby. It's cold. Must keep it safe and warm." Spot wasn't sure what to say. He was scared yet confused at the time. Though it was clear to Spot that she was sleep walking but he had never seen someone like this before. It freaked him out.

"Yeah, Smalls. The baby just needs to be warmed up. It will be just fine. You'll see. Come back to bed. It will keep the baby safe." Spot told her without touching her. She smiled and slowly walked back to the bed and sat down. Spot got in right after her and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her feeling warm and safe.

That morning Spot woke up alone again. At first he panicked. Ready to hop on the roof to see if Sophia was there, but before he could, Sophia walked into the bedroom.
"You now just woke up? Sheesh! You lazy bum." She teased, walking over to the dresser to put on the ribbon Spot had given her.

Spot got out of bed and put on some clothes that he had worn the day before. It was too cold to try and clean any clothing or as much that is. He walked up behind Sophia and planted a kiss on her cheek. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Sophia placed her hands on her stomach. "I…I don't feel much now." She told him.

Spot sighed and nuzzled his nose on her neck. "I'm sorry about this, Smalls."
Sophia shook her head. "Don't be. Maybe it was for the best? I'm really sure to be perfectly honest."

"I just want you to be happy." He told her, turning her around and kissing her softly. He moved his hands up and down her back, caressing her. At that moment, morning sex seemed like a pretty good idea, but Spot knew better than to try to make her do something like that at a time like this. So he stepped back.

"What's wrong?" Sophia asked.

Spot shook his head. "Nothin' babe. Just gotta head on out to sell some of me papes is all." He slipped on some shoes and was out the door before Sophia usher another word to him.

Spot waved his papes in the air, shouting out all kinds of headlines and 'false' stories. After selling his last pape, being handed five cents he sat down on a curb and started to count his money. He made exactly one dollar. He sighed, tired of doing the same crap every day. Yeah sure he was King of Brooklyn, but after meeting Sophia, she opened up so many others doors and windows in life. He wanted to do more. He knew there was more out there, he just didn't know where to look. Not yet anyway.

"Hey Spot!" Spot looked up and saw Jack walking up to him.

He stood up tall. "Eh Jacky-boy!" he said spitting his hand and shaking hands with Jack.

"Hows you'se and Smalls doin'?" he asked.

Spot smirked. "We'se doin jus' fine."
Jack didn't seem to believe him. "I'se heard what happened, Spotty. To Smalls and the baby."
Spot smirk fell. He looked down at his feet and sighed. He then looked back up at Jack. "How many people know?" Jack shrugged. Spot took off his hat for a second to scratch his head and then put it back on. "Right…What brings ya here anyways?" Spot asked him.

"Actually, Medda sent me hera for Smalls."
Spot raised a brow. "What for?"

Jack lifted up a brown suitcase. "This was Tom Tom's."
Spot slowly took it. "I see…It's not too heavy."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Tom Tom didn't bring much with him." Jack then stuff his hands into his pocket from the cold. "I'se gotta head back to 'hattan now. See you'se lateh Spot!"

Spot walked back to the lodging house and put the suitcase on the bed up stairs. He didn't know if showing her would be the best thing, but from what Spot heard, it sounded like Medda really wanted Sophia to have it. It was Tommy's after all and Sophia would probably want something to remember him as. After that he went outside on the dock where he watched his Newsie's. He stood on top of the perch where he usually stood to get a good, clear view on all his newsie's. From the corner of his right eye, one newsie flicked a cigar and landed behind some barrels. "Hey!" Spot yelled. The newsie looked up at him. Confused. "Don't give me that dumb look, ya damn fool. Step the damn cig 'fore ya start some fire!" the newsie quickly ran over to where the cigar and landed and stomped on it. Another Newise then walked up to the perch and looked up at Spot. "Eh Spot! Hows Smalls doin'?"
Spot looked down at his newise. "She's jus' fine, Skipper." He told the newsie boy. In reality, Spot was worried all to hell about Sophia, but he certainly didn't want anyone else to be worried. Why he felt like he had to take full responsibility he didn't know. Maybe it came with being a leader.

Later that night Sophia prepared supper again. It seemed that every day the meals were getting smaller. Tonight all there was to spare were some hot biscuits with butter. She watched as each Newsie took his plate and sat down in the main room and ate their 'meal'. Finally the last newise inline took his biscuit and went to join his friends. When Sophia looked down at the pan, there was one biscuit left. She sighed. Suddenly Spot came in from outside. He sniffed in the smell food and walked up to Sophia.
"There was more left." She told him with a smile.

Spot picked it up, about ready to eat but then stopped. He asked her, "Have you ate yet?" she nodded. Sophia turned around fast after that and headed into the kitchen. She lied to Spot, but she wanted him to eat. He worked so hard for the two of them. She also loved him and wanted him to stay in good heal and have something in his stomach even if it wasn't much she just wanted him to eat something.

Spot was about to take a bite of his food, but something stopped him from doing it again. "What?" he said, noticing that his newsie's were looking up at him. A few shook their heads and one pointed to the kitchen. Spot rolled his eyes. He knew now that she had lied. He was about to head after her but turned around and said to the same newsie who was smoking another cigar.

"You with the cigar! Yeah. You. Make sure you put that out nice a good. Do you hear me?" the