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to be here.

“Having more kids any time soon?”

His question is met with stunned silence.

“I thought not. E, I gotta tell you, this is where I belong. If I don’t make it back—”

“Don’t say—”

“Hear me out. The same way Gin and Corey are for you, this is my world. Make sure Momma knows if it ever comes up.”

“It won’t.”

“From your mouth to God’s ear, brother. Good luck today and kiss Ginny for me. Nah, nevermind. I’ll kiss her myself.”

I swear the twist of Colton’s lips as he sneers is audible and I let out a few choice phrases while laughing. He’d never touch Ginny. The scary routine ensured she didn’t confuse one brother for another or think—like so many other teenage girls—any Kingsbrier would do. 

“She’s always been yours. That’s how all this happened. Right or wrong, Ginny knew you were meant to be together,” he buoys before we hang up.

I wonder when Colton got so sentimental.

“I got two suits.” Adam barges in, laying the gray rental bags on the bed. “You okay?”

I mumble about something Colton said bothering me. Which covers everything because C has no filter.

Adam sits down, pulling off his athletic socks and sneakers, ready to listen.

“He talks to Momma all the time, but he told me to make sure she knew he was happy if—”

“Ef—” Adam blows out the syllable.

“I don’t doubt Momma knows. It was more like Colton needed me to hear it.” I scrub my face. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re my brother and I love you.”

“I get that I’m your second choice for best man.” The way the admission rolls off Adam’s tongue makes me feel shitty. Though, he follows it up with, “He’s your twin. Don’t worry, I’m not dumb. There’s a connection between you two.”

“Thanks for understanding and for helping with C all those years, giving me a break when he was over the top.” He’d was like a wild mustang penned in on a Texas ranch.

“It’s not a big deal. You needed the downtime and opportunity to figure out your own shit. Colton was like a caged animal at Kingsbrier. It took every one of us tending to him. Frankly, in the beginning, I didn’t see Colton becoming successful in the Navy. But it was all there; the discipline and desire... Anyway, if Colton was around, it wouldn’t phase me seeing him standing up for you. It’s always been me and Drew against you and him whenever teams get picked.”

Adam unzips the bags, holding my pressed wedding attire out to me. I toss it in a lump on the bed.

“It is a huge fucking deal, A. If you weren’t here standing in for me, I’d never have met Ginny. There wouldn’t have been a chance to date her, let alone be marrying her.”

“Never thought of it that way. Will you blame having Corey on me someday? I mean, the past year was screwed up. You wouldn’t be getting hitched if it weren’t for the baby.”

“Maybe not this soon, but I’m good with it. The four-year plan seems stupid to me now, bro. I wanted everything laid out with no surprises.” 

Life is full of them. Some are shocking and shitty. Others are eye-opening. And still more bowl you over. They turn your world upside down, make you think, and are the very last thing you’d consider winding up amazing.

“I’m not saying I’d do it all the same if we could go back to last year. This parenting thing is tough. But Gin? I wouldn’t have let her go, or maybe I would have followed her to Beaumont. I was so sure we were meant to be together I didn’t allow myself the chance to see life isn’t getting from one end-point to the next. She showed that to me. It may be fucked up, and on the days things are bad, I’m not sure I’ve fully forgiven her. But I know I love her and someday what she did won’t matter anymore. Most days it doesn’t.”

The day Corey disappeared, it hadn’t.


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34

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Behind me, Miss Rose zips the back of my wedding dress and my mother adjusts my veil with her unbroken arm. The other rests against her torso, mending in a cast. She’s smiling. Yet, the pang of regret over not being the one to help me on with my gown is apparent. 

I trace my eyes over Diana’s features. The same lines of regret mirror mine whenever I believe I should have done things differently. 

“I’m glad you're here,” I say, meaning it.

The corners of my mother’s mouth perk. “Your daddy would be so proud of you right now,” she whispers, overwhelmed.

In the hospital, Diana gave me permission to cut her out of our lives completely. Not only for Alan taking Corey, but also for bringing the man to our doorstep in the first place. There were so many years my mother felt she needed makeup for. She worried her presence stopped me from healing and that I’d be better off without her. I refused to walk away and brought the baby to visit her every day until she was released.

“No cryin’.” Brier shoves a tissue in my hand. “You’ll ruin the makeup job I did on you.” She pulls another tissue from the box, wiping under her own eyes so her mascara doesn’t run, pretending she’s caught up in our family’s sentimental moment.

And maybe she is, but perhaps her reaction has more to do with Drew being one of the few invited guests at the ceremony. The way she loves him is the one secret Brier can’t keep anymore. It’s hard to believe they’ll ever get over one another.

Brier steals her nephew away from Daveigh. Corey tests his lungs. It’s a new thing for my six-month-old. He enjoys being loud to hear himself. The baby slaps his wet fingers against Brier’s cheeks. She doesn’t care he’s ruining her makeup the way she’d been concerned over mine, or when Corey drools on the bodice of her pink a-line dress. She presses her nose to his, grateful for the distraction, and lets him shriek happily.

Miss Rose says they’re ready for us and Daveigh holds my bouquet as we walk down the stairs, toward the morning porch.

Poolside, there are four round tables surrounded by white wooden folding chairs. Miss Rose’s good china decorates the tabletops covered in white linen cloths. Short vases arranged with flowers from the bushes outside the quint’s bedroom windows make the perfect floral centerpieces. 

Eric’s momma rented an arbor. It’s covered in tulle and longer clippings from the garden. We’ve kept it small and elegant, pulling the quick wedding off on a shoestring budget because my mother doesn’t have much left and it made Eric and I hesitant to let anyone pick up the tab.

Miss Lily Anne is chatting the pastor’s ear off. She’s like Miss Rose in that respect, always putting her best foot forward and acting gracious. Rodger Newhouse nods, agreeing with whatever they are saying. However, his furrowed brow makes it obvious he’s distracted by his son. I feel poorly for putting Drew in an uncomfortable position, but Eric is lost without Colton and today he would have missed Drew’s presence as well. He’s a constant at Kingsbrier.

Drew dips his head and lays his jacket over a chair. Reaching up he cracks his neck. Eric and I aren’t the only ones with a case of the jitters.

The sun is approaching its azimuth. The ceremony will over by noon so we can eat early. Eric wipes his brow and pulls at his tie. Adam slaps Eric’s hand away and straightens his lapels, careful not to crush the flower on the left-hand side.

Miss Rose holds up her camera as her husband opens the French doors to the kitchen. “One last picture. The most important of them all. You and your mother on a day you’ll never forget.”



I haven’t broken a sweat, but the heat radiating through the gray suit makes me long to take it off and roll up my sleeves the way Drew has. I bat Adam’s hand away when he fiddles with my tie.

“The wait can’t be much longer, can it?” I ask, getting impatient.

“I’ll see what’s taking them.” Dad strolls toward the house.

I glance between Cris and Adam, my lone groomsmen in similar attire.

After an eternity, or maybe a few minutes, Daddy comes back out holding his grandson. Corey holds tight until he sees me and then baby flings himself out of Ross’s arms with vigor.

I pull Corey to my hip and unfasten the velcro on his bib, wiping a string of drool from the baby’s face before stuffing the wet cloth into my back pocket.

Adam sniggers. “You’re such a dad.”

No disagreeing with that. Wrapped up in my kid, my sisters are through the wrought iron gate and walking across the pool deck to the arbor when I look up to see Gin appear on the morning porch.

“Dayum, E.” Adam lets out a groan. He has a penchant for blondes. “She’s one of the most beautiful girls I’ve seen, E.”

I’d tell him to shut up. But it’s true.

Ginny’s tea-length white gown sparkles at the top. Her long blonde hair cascades in waves over her shoulders and past the lushness of her breasts. The front of her veil blows in the soft spring breeze. My breath catches. She’s an angel, which is perfect because this piece of Texas earth is heaven to me.

Corey lunges again. This time towards his mother, but this is one of the few moments I insist on having Ginny’s full attention. I pass the baby back to the next set of waiting arms. Corey follows up his screeches with a squeal of delight.

Ginny’s dimples grow as her cheeks pulled into a grin. I’m lost in her smile the way I’d been when I finally asked her out and Ginny said yes, and the morning that Corey was born, and the day I asked her to marry me.

The strangest pang of loss makes me wondering what this life would have been like if Ginny hadn’t withdrawn from college and Corey wasn’t ours. I’m filled with immense pride for what we’ve endured.

In four years when I come home at night, will Ginny have my daughter on her hip while Corey clings to her leg? I won’t plan it out. We have too much to look forward to between now and then; like Corey walking and talking, and running through the pasture on the way to Kingsbrier, and the first harvest of grapes.

My mind is tracking what the pastor is preaching about life and love, God and family. We haven’t given up on each other and I intend to take care of my family and make sure Gin doesn’t give up on her dreams.

When it’s my turn to speak, Adam’s hand fall on my shoulder and the warmth of Colton’s touch courses through me. None of this would have been possible if my twin and the other quints hadn’t taught me about unconditional love.

This time, I don’t forget or fumble the words when I say, “I do.”


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35

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“You’re a glutton for punishment.” I overhear Adam derail Drew’s train of thought.

He really is…And so am I.

Of the few invited wedding guests, the Newhouses are in attendance. Miss Lily Anne’s light blue dress matches Drew’s tie to a tee. The color offsets his eyes and the way his shoulders bunched as he took off his tan suit jacket broke my heart because I haven’t found comfort in another boy’s arms the way there had been in Drew’s.

He won’t stop staring at me.

I hate the

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