Making Circles - Vanessa Gilbert (recommended reading txt) 📗

I mean, look at Carter, he’s a sophomore but he couldn’t handle our relationship and now Kyle can barely handle our friendship. Maybe I just need to stay away from guys period just until I have my mind made up of what I want. What am I talking about!? I’m a sophomore in high school, no high school girl think about this kind of stuff until she’s out of high school and seriously thinking of getting married and settling down! God, I’m going crazy. I might as well just follow my gut and my gut says…I’m hungry. I rolled out of bed then made my way downstairs to get breakfast and start my boring weekend.

I stepped down each step lazily and used all my focus to keep from stumbling and rolling down the stairs; then again that wouldn’t be so bad, everyone would get what they want. I began to stretch and yawn as I stepped the bottom step and turned the corner towards the kitchen. Before I could even begin to think over which breakfast to have or which cereal would be the best I heard my name. I looked and standing in the doorway was Mark. I stared at him in confusion and shock then asked, “What are you doing here, Mark?”

“Well, I asked Kitty where you lived. I see that I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you,” I starred him giving him my ‘bit of a jerk?’ stare, “Okay, okay a big jerk face who deserves to get his butt whopped from here to....Canada.”

I laughed, okay that sounds better. “But you have to know I have the best intention in mind. I just don’t like seeing you in so much pain and in such misery that…it looks like just breathing kills you,” he said.

Glad to see someone notices that I feel guilty. “Well, you know, guilt is the best punishment for the guilty,” I said sighing and making sure not to make eye contact.

Mike had the insane ability to just read people by just looking in the eyes and right now I’d rather keep my feelings and thoughts to myself. “Arien, please look at me. I know you don’t like me ‘reading’ you as you and everyone likes to put it,” well there’s nothing else that fits it so perfectly, “but I need to make sure you’re okay before I say anything else. I’d rather you be of sound mind and feelings before I let another word slip out.”

I closed my eyes and looked up at him hoping I hid it well enough that maybe I have a chance he’ll see just the bitter sweet lie that I keep putting on my face. He sighed, “Just like I feared. You’re not of sound mind or anything which means we have to do this in private and walking.”

I laughed, “Walking? Do you see what time it is?”

“Yea, it’s practically noon,” he said starring at our ancient clock hanging on the wall.

“What,” I looked back at the cock in shock, “Damn I need to get up sooner.”

Mike laughed then said, “How about you get dressed then you and I can go for a walk and talk.”

I looked down at myself, forgetting that I had just woken up. I had on my spaghetti strap white tank top and my plaid green and white shorts. Better than what I usually wear to bed. I nodded then headed back upstairs to get dressed and readyfor our “Talk Walk”.

“So, before I talk about what I really wanna talk about we need to talk about the car accident,” Mike said.

“Wow, talk was used a lot in that sentence, “I said, trying to break the tension that seemed to cloud us.

Since the months and weeks have passed so have the seasons we slipped out of summer, slid into fall, and now we’ve falling into winter, cold bitter winter, perfect season for how my life is going; cold, bitter, lonely, dying. And of course switching seasons means switching styles of clothing. Everyone went from flip flops, shorts, and sleeve-less shirts to snow boots, heavy pants, and long sleeved shirts. Mike had on his usual jeans, his favorite Bleach anime shirt, and his long jacket that goes all the way down to the back of his heels. He also has on his usual skater shoes that seem to break down every single day. He also had on his new woolen beanie.

I had on my new jean skirt, my new black wool leggings, my black fur snow boots, and my favorite wool jacket that luckily has a hoodie. I also had on my beanie but mine isn’t woolen like mister fancy pants’ but mine still good. “Ha, yea what can I say I love word, “ Mike joked.

I smiled at him for joking back and not making me feel like such a pathetic loser with my lame attempts to break tension and then said, “Okay so I guess you should start it since you know what exactly you wanna know.”

“Right, um, okay so…what…happened?” Mike asked.

The question that I couldn’t answer exactly…the question that I’d feared since it happened. “Um…I guess I got distracted, we were listening to the radio singing, getting ready for karaoke. Terri was singing off pitch on purpose to throw me off and make me mad, “I let out a chuckle at the memory and then sighed from what came next, “and then they hit us. They said we came out of nowhere and they couldn’t stop in time. They hit us from Jacie’s side, passenger side, and sent us spinning and glass showering us. We stopped after a few seconds or so and as soon as we did…I remember feelings…happy. Happy that it was over and we could just laugh about it the rest of the way. Then…the other driver came,” a tear slipped out as it remember the rest.

I saw Jacie’s body continue to shake and tremble uncontrollably it seemed. I began to slowly crawled to her, for some reason unable to stand or do anything else. I felt my arm sting and my head ache, I could feel tears falling down and hitting the cuts that were on my face, their pain masked by my arm and heart. I finally made it to Jacie and starred down at her. Her face…it was…completely destroyed. I could barely recognize her. Oh god, don’t be Jacie. “Jacie,” I asked my voice shaky from pain and fear.

“Arien,” she said her voice shaky as well and tears coming out of what I guess to be her eyes, “Is Terri okay?”

I began to sob as I spoke, “No…she’s dead.”

“Oh god,” she sobbed.

Her body kept shaking and trembling and I could see the color leave her visual undestroyed skin. “Arien, I can’t breathe, I can’t…I can’t…,” Jacie gasped.

“Jacie, don’t you DARE die on me! We’re gonna be okay! We’re gonna go to the karaoke place and sing and laugh….please just don’t leave me,” I sobbed.

I could see Jacie’s life slowly slip and I could since the end coming. I picked up her mangled body and held it close to mine. “Jacie, don’t leave me! Jacie,” I screamed.

I could feel her last breath leave her body and feel her body go limp. “No! Jacie, no,” I continued screaming and sobbing.

Why? Why!? My two best friends…dead…and only me to blame; I stared down at Jacie then at the people now coming to surround us. “Jacie, please….come back…please,” I whispered as I snuggled my face into her neck and continued to sob.

“Wow,” Mike said as we turned the corner onto the next street, Madison Blvd.

“Yea…the police told me later that the driver that hit us last was drunk…he survived and fled from the scene, not wanting to face the mistake he made,” I said.

“Did the police charge you,” he asked.

I nodded solemnly, “Yep, my parents had to pay a hefty fine and even then I had to spend a few days doing community service, which wasn’t a big deal; I do have one punishment and it’s for life.”

“What‘s that,” he asked.

“Knowing I could have saved them, they could be still alive here with us if it weren’t for me,” I said. 

Mike shook his head and stopped walking completely. “Arien, you need to stop blaming yourself for this, no matter who was driving, you guess probably still would have been in a car accident. He was going towards you guys and there’s nothing you could’ve done.”

I sighed, why couldn’t I just accept it? He’s right, no matter what the drivers would have still gone in their path, they still would have hit us…the only difference would be a different person would live...whoever was driving. I looked at him and nodded, not wanting to press the matter any further than must. “Are you good?” He asked.

I looked him straight in the eye and nodded, this time not a complete lie. He smiled and pulled me in for a hug, I wouldn’t and couldn’t deny him a hug, and I needed one from what had happened and what was happening. I could feel him smile and began to pull back so I could look up at him. He had a smile I’ve seen whenever I’ve been sad around him, the big brother smile that cheered me up and made me feel safe. “Well now I will move on to the subject I want to discuss with you,” he said as he repositioned himself and me so now we walked side by side, one of his arms around my shoulders and the other stuffed in his jacket pocket.

“Okay what is it you’d like to discuss,” I asked.

“You and Kyle and Carter,” he said.

I sighed, “Okay get on with it then.”

“So, I know you and Carter broke up already but I also know Kyle’s got the hots for ya’ and I know you’ve got the hots for him…but I also know he’s dating someone. I’ve got to know are you his mistress or something?”

I laughed, “No, Mike I’m not his mistress or anything, we’re just friends and yea I like him and yea he may like me but he has a girlfriend and that’s a fact so until something happens there then nothing can happen between him and me.”

He smiled and said, “Okay, good because here’s my next question. I know you’ve liked me since seventh grade and I’ve kind of liked you since eighth,” oh huge difference their sparky, “so…how’s about you and I…give it a try?”

I looked at him, “If you are trying to ask me out please don’t say, ‘give it a try.’ Come on, you’re asking a girl out not talking yourself into doing a sport.”

He laughed, “Okay then. Arien, will you please go out with me?”

I smiled, “Okay that’s better.”

“That’s your answer, ‘that’s better,’ that’s not what I wanna hear. It’s not like your shopping and telling a girl what looks better on her than what she’s already wearing. Give me a straight answer, “he laughed.

I sighed and starred down at the ground. “I don’t know Mike I mean, I’ve kind of think I should date someone a bit more mature.”

“Oh come on I’m mature,” he said.

I laughed, “Um…can you let me think on it?”

“Yea….I guess,” he said sighing.

I smiled and touched his arm and after a few seconds we went back to walking and randomly talking adventuring off into unknown topics.

After our walk, Mike walked me home and he went back home to go do something, he didn’t really tell me. We were walking for the whole day pretty much so I went home and just settled in to do what I normally do on the weekends…play video games. I walked into my study room, pulled out my games, and began to the long process of picking something to play for the rest of the day. I starred between Assassin’s Creed II and Dragon Age: Origins. Both were good, both were fun…but I felt more like a sneaky assassinating killing than a sword fight killing. I pulled out