When We Let Go - Delancey Stewart (ebook reader ink txt) 📗

navigate the paved pathways and gentle grades around the fenced grove. We all rode in Cam’s truck, and her face was pale and her breathing noticeably labored as we drove down the hill.

Cam needed no directions. He’d been here thousands of times. So had I. When we needed adventure away from our parents, we’d wandered into the town or down here. It was a couple left turns from the village and the way was clearly marked. This was tourist central, unlike the residential part of the village where you needed a compass and a great deal of luck to get around if you were from somewhere else.

I’d always laughed at how tourists got completely distracted in the tiny parking lot at the base of the grove. There were two Giant Sequoias at its edge, grown together over centuries or millennia. The trees shared one hulking trunk and then separated to reach side by side towards eternity above. It was breathtaking. But there was so much more to see if you ventured up the trails beyond.

Jess stood beside the twin trees, leaning up with her camera in hand. She squatted, she stepped back, she turned the camera and fiddled with the adjustments on top. While she tried to capture the giant trees in one frame, I quickly snapped a few pictures of her. Finally, Cam stepped up and pulled the camera from her hand. “If you spend the whole time trying to capture them on film, you’ll never see them at all. They’re too big for pictures.” He took her hand and guided her toward the path, leaning over to plant a kiss on the top of her blond head.

Something in my heart squeezed. It felt a tiny bit like jealousy, but I knew that wasn’t really it. It was true, my brother had cared for me gently at one time—for most of my life, actually. And he’d always been quick with a hug or a sweet kiss on the cheek. He’d never been embarrassed to hold my hand, even when we’d changed elementary schools and he was in fifth grade and I was a terrified second grader. He led me down the hall to my classroom by my hand and hugged me goodbye at my classroom door, ignoring the looks that other kids gave us. He would handle them later, I knew. Cam had always been good at taking care of himself. And everyone else. I was glad that he had someone to care for in Jess, but the thought of her dying nearly sent me to the ground in a puddle. What would Cam do then?

I shook my head and vowed to be cheerful, to win Cam back so that I could be there to help when he really did need me. Jack may have taken him from me, but he wasn’t going to stop me from getting him back, and I didn’t need his friend’s dirty money to do it. My heart lifted as I realized this—maybe I was finally free of Jack’s influence on me after all.

We strolled along the path, which climbed at a steady rate as we approached the back of the small grove. Enormous trees with red flesh and soft bark stood majestically beyond the fenced walkway, making the ground we walked feel almost sacred. These trees made you appreciate how short human life is, how little time we really have. They were here when I was born, and they would stand when I died. Lives like mine, like Jess’s, were just a blip on their radar.

“It’s humbling,” Jess breathed as we sat inside the hollowed-out log of a fallen giant. The trunk we rested in had been used over the centuries as a stable, a shelter, even a barracks for soldiers.

“I love showing this to people,” Cam said. “I’ve forgotten how amazing it is up here.”

“It makes you realize how fast the rest of the world is moving, how busy we all are spinning our wheels,” I said.

They both looked at me, and for a second I thought Cam would say something awful. But he just nodded.

Jess looked pale, and a thin sheen of sweat coated her forehead. “It’s beautiful,” she said. “I think I’m ready for a little snack, though.” She forced a smile, and I could tell she was struggling.

Something passed through Cam’s eyes for a split second as he looked at me, and then it was gone. Fear. It had been a wild fear that I’d seen before he recovered himself. “Sure, babe.” He rose and helped Jess to her feet. “Let’s go back.”

They walked along slowly in front of me, his arm around her shoulders as she gazed upward. I took shots of them walking and smiling at each other, their heads close. At times they stopped as we headed back to the car, and one of them would point upward, showing the other something high up in the treetops. Their love for each other was so clear in those instances and I envied them. But almost more than I wanted that kind of companionship for myself, I was happy to see that my brother had found it. I was glad he hadn’t been alone these last few years.

We got back to the car and Cam took us to the diner. “Is this still the only game in town for food?”

“Pretty much,” I said.

“Then I think we’ll need some more of that pie.”

We went inside and Miranda brought us each a slice of Frank’s pie, and for a little while, Cam talked to me like an old friend.

Maybe the pie turned the tide for a short time, or maybe it was Cam’s distraction. While he and I talked, Jess smiled and nodded, but she was clearly exhausted. I wondered what she was suffering from, but if they weren’t bringing it up, I was certainly not going to ask.

“So, sis. The idiot is gone, you live in a trailer and work in a diner. What’s the plan?”

Straight to the point. “By idiot, I guess you mean Jack.”

“Who else?”

“Right.” Jess looked embarrassed for me, so I explained. “It’s fine. He was an idiot. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Me either,” Cam breathed.

“I’m sorry,” Jess said.

“It’s for the best,” I told them. “And for now, there isn’t a huge plan. I’ve been kind of feeling my way along. It’s been less than a year.”

“Right, but. I mean …” his eyes softened and for a minute, my big brother was back, sitting across from me. “You can’t stay up here. This isn’t the right life for you.”

I cocked my head to the side. “I like it up here, actually. It’s not about location,” I said. “But you’re right that I can’t live in a trailer, work in a diner and live on the bloody edge of poverty much longer.”

Cam’s face darkened at the mention of money, and I knew he was thinking about whatever care Jess required and my Dad’s bills, too. I wished I could help.

“The lawyer is still working on a few things,” I said quickly. “That part of things might get better. But until that happens, I’ve got some ideas.”

“Any hot mountain men up here?” Jess asked, smiling brightly.

“That’s all she needs,” Cam spat.

“Actually …” should I really tell them? Jess’s eyes lit up when I started talking, so I plowed ahead. “There is a guy up here. He’s a writer.”

“Who?” Jess’s voice was excited and she sat up straighter.

“Connor Charles. Do you know of him?”

She clapped her hands. “Oh my gosh, yes! I read all his books. I even have one with me! They’re pretty crazy. Very dark, and …” She stared at me hard for a second, a strange look on her face. “Oh my God, I bet you’re exactly his type.”

“Why do you say that? Did you read an interview or something?”

She shook her head, still watching me like she was trying to figure something out. “No, but … any time there’s a victim in one of his books who gets saved, who escapes whatever horrible psychopath is on the loose …” she paused and glanced at Cam. “She looks just like you.”

“What?” I dropped my fork. What did that mean?

“It’s uncanny, now that I’m thinking about it … but yeah, all the victims that get rescued or escape or whatever, they all have brown curly hair and light brown eyes.”

That was strange. But not really earth shattering. “Seems like he could think of something else once or twice …”

She shook her head. “I think it’s kind of his thing.”

“Or a lack of originality,” Cam said.

“Huh, well, maybe I’m his type, like you said.” Connor could save me all he liked with that incredible hair, and the strong arms that I could still feel around me if I closed my eyes.

“Earth to Maddie.” Cam sounded irritated.

“Sorry.” I blushed. Clearly they knew I’d been thinking of Connor.

“Look, Maddie. I’m happy for you, I guess.” Cam didn’t look happy.

“You sound it.”

“Well, maybe it isn’t the best time for you to be running around with some guy. I mean, you have a lot of things to straighten out up here. Maybe you don’t need a distraction like that. And your track record with men …”

“Point taken.” I wanted him to stop. I felt happier than I had in years, just thinking about Connor and the sweet honesty that seemed to live between us. Now that I had definitely dismissed the idea of selling a photo of him, I was eager to see his face again. Cam wasn’t going to ruin it for me. “Maybe you should meet him while you’re here.”

“No, I …” Cam started to disagree, but didn’t get a chance to finish.

“I’d love to meet Connor Charles! Do you think he’d sign a book for me?” Jess was practically bouncing.

Cam turned to watch her and his expression crumbled from protective and wary to completely