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glimpse of his dimples. I could see the lookt in his eyes.

 

He felt left out, as if I had abandoned him like how he did with me.

 

My lips part to say something but nothing comes out, my eyes finally stare into his.

 

 

The brown colored eyes he had, stared back into mine. I stuttered, breathing heavily.

 

I was scared to say something.

 

 

I didn't want us to fight, especially on a flight.

 

His lips part to form an open gap. No reponse from him either.

 

I could tell he wanted to say something, but we're interuppted.

 

 

''Mr. Callies, your new assigned seat has been confirmed.'' said the flight attendent.

 

We both look up to the flight attendant, a happy look on her face.

 

 

 

He didn't even consider telling me he wanted to change seats, when did he do this?

 

Jacob sighs then gives me a look before leaving the seat next to me.

 

He is followed by the flight attendant back to the seats behind ours.

 

 

I look behind me turning in my seat.

 

 

He only moved back a class seat just for me, but why?

 

 

I was staring at the curtains from the class behind us. I was hoping he'd come back and comfort me again.

 

Not even after 1 minute did I see him come back.

 

 

Suddenly the curtains move. I sit up prepared to see Jacob's face.

 

It was only the flight attendants. 2 of them rushed up to the pilot's pit

 

My upset face clearly showed. I was upset Jacob wanted to do that.

 

 

Without even considering how I'd feel afterwards.

 

 

And then I realized how he must have felt right now/

 

And now I get the taste of what's going on inside his head.

 

 

Rikki swiftly moves up to sit in the seat next to me. I was stunned by her appearance but kinda saddened.

 

She knew I was feeling down.

 

 

I looked behind again. I saw Marybella cuddling into Mark's side.

 

Rikki left her open seat next to the window behind me.

 

  

I had the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

 

 

Rikki reassures me with a smile, she held her hand in mine.

 

 

''It's okay. New York is only just a few hours away. Soon enough we'll be home.'' Rikki says.

 

''But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? Or be with me? What if he thinks I hate him.'' I reply.

 

''Relax, he doesn't. He just had second thoughts, that's all.'' Rikki replies.

 

 

''But what if he hates me too, because of our future?'' I replied alert to Rikki.

 

''Listen. You guys have been together far longer than Jason and I have been. He's not going to break your heart.'' Rikki replied.

 

I sighed.

 

''He has a good heart, he'll never let you down. Just have faith to think that he's fixing the problem right now between you two.'' Rikki said.

 

''Thanks. I should know, I should.'' I whispered.

 

 

My eyes drift from the floor below us to the window again, the clouds descending from the blue sky.

 

I stared into the loneliness of the dark paradise memory that we left in Brazil.

 

 

My eyes grow heavy closing down on me. My thoughts looking back to our fight.

 

That wasn't the right way to end our last day in Brazil.

 

 

To get off on the wrong foot, it wasn't right.

 

I shift in my potential hallucination. It felt wrong to fight and even now, to finish talking.

  

-- 

 

The beeps and loud rings as we exit through the airport, bothered me as I rush to exit outside.

 

Rikki follows behind me.

 

Marybella and Mark follow behind us slowly. But there's no sign of Jacob.

 

 

I just hope he's get's home.

 

''Just relax Elle, we'll find him.'' Rikki said.

 

 

We exit out into the open rain. I look out into the grey dewy view of the city.

 

There's people walking past us that catch me off guard for a second. 

 

''Great, and now rainy weather.'' I said, pulling my hands up.

 

 

I had no umbrella, and I was wearing unbearable rainy sandals to complete the look.

 

''We'll check the house afterwards. Look, here's our ride.'' Rikki reassured me.

 

 

A black van pops up. We all go in with our luggage.

 

Only a few drops of rain had gotten on me. I wasn't completely soaked yet.

 

 

I looked out the window, Mark was in the passenger seat.

 

Marybella was sitting next to me, with Rikki on the right side window.

 

 

Rain poured down constantly on the van.

 

I looked out into the left side window, no famaliar faces.

 

Not even Jacob's.

 

 

It was only rain streaming down onto the window.

 

 

I finally sat back and sighed. How could he just disappear like this?

 

He was really making me worry.

 

 

He had to do it again, and this time in New York.

 

We were back home you could say. But the feeling I was hoping for coming back, wasn't it.

 

 

 

The black van stops onto the street leading to the alley of FARELLE. Lauren had told us to meet at FARELLE for a last minute thing about Brazil.

 

I wanted it to be quick and over so I could find Jacob.

 

I really need him now. No matter if he thinks I hate him. 

 

I love him and I need him now.

 

 

''We're here, don't worry Lauren's speech won't be long.'' Rikki said, opening the door.

 

We all took out our luggage and jogged into FARELLE, I was partially soaked.

 

Wet feet and everything.

 

 

I set down my suitcases next to my desk. The gang do so too.

 

I walk up the step into the desk area. I punch the numbers in the office phone.

 

A few rings pass by.

 

 

No answer from Jacob's phone. He was making me mad now.

 

I needed him to make sure that he was home, or at least somewhere safe.

 

 

I smash the phone down on the stance. I put my hands to my forehead.

 

I just needed to know if he was at least in Manhattan or something.

 

 

''Okay, quick anouncement before everyone can go home.'' Lauren says.

 

We all exit from my desk area and head to the middle of the working area.

 

I cross my arms over my chest.

 

 

Vanessa stands next to Lauren.

 

Lauren speaks first.

 

''Competition is over, now we can celebrate. Summer vacation starts as soon as you exit the doors. But let me remind you that we did it this year. Be prepared to come back to work in August. And our faithful worker Sara is officially fired from the roster, so don't worry about that.'' Lauren says.

 

''Yes. And even though she made us have a big chance to win this year, our company we'll still make great accomplishments without her. Be prepared after summer break. Good day everyone.'' Vanessa says.

 

 

A smile appears on her face as people leave to their separate offices, finally.

 

A relieved sigh overcomes me.

 

 

I head to my my desk area and take my suitcase, the gang follows behind me. 

 

I was determind to find Jacob. This guy was making me crazy.

 

 

 

''Elle, wait up. We all can't walk fast.'' Rikki said.

 

I slightly slowed down. Once we exited outside, my instinct was to go to my car.

 

 

The rain had let up when we were inside and the sun peaked through the clouds a little bit.

 

I reach my car and open the trunk.

 

I put in my suitcase and bags.

 

 

I take off my shawl and put it in as well. ThenI take out a sapphire trench coat and pull it on.

 

 

Even in this rainy weather, I felt like wearing a coat.

 

After finally putting it on I reach for the car door. Then i'm stopped.

 

 

''Elle.'' Rikki said.

 

I look up from approaching my door.

 

Rikki, Marybella and Mark were standing next to each other. Concern in their eyes.

 

 

I was beginning to think I was starting to look crazy tot hem. Like a monster.

 

I sighed as I wrestled my thoughts to find the keys.

 

 

I lean on my car side door, looking to them.

 

''Wer'e worried.'' Marybella says first.

 

''I know, I need to get home and find him. Quick.'' Ireplied.

 

''Well, at least after you get home. Let's go get Taylor from my aunt's instead.'' Marybella suggested.

 

''Maybe not,...you and Mark should go. It's better if you see your daughter.'' I say.

 

 

I lowered my head down. I didn't want to face everyone with a disappointed look.

 

I did this to my own self, and now I need to get it together.

 

 

''At least relax before driving home, I can sense tension.'' Rikki implied.

 

''I will.'' I replied, harshly.

 

 

They all scattered to their own cars. Marybella and Mark gettting into their car first.

 

And Rikki, following behind in her's.

 

I see them all start up their engines and leave. Slowing down to take one look at me.

 

 

I stare into the windows of their cars. Their hopeless eyes staring at me.

 

Soon, I was left alone in the parking lot.

 

 

I open the driver's side door and get in. I was home but I felt alone.

 

I start up the car, driving slowly into the street. I was kicking the speed rate up every minute when I was driving to the suburbs.

 

 

I didn't want to get caught by the police, so I slowed down a few numbers.

 

I needed to find a calm paradise.

 

''Just a few more minutes and you'll be home.'' I said to myself.

 

 

I close them and then open them to a green light. I push on the gas pedal.

 

Only just a few minutes from home. I felt like tearing up the streets.

 

 

I wanted to panic and run free to find Jacob, but I had to remain calm.

 

I wanted to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wouldn't go away.

 

And before even going down the street to our house I felt it rise in me.

 

 

I burst of tears formed. I didn't even know that I was crying.

 

It was abnormal.

 

I felt lost and different even when I landed today.

 

 

Jacob wasn't here. I wanted to fix things but he disappeared right out of my eyesight.

 

Who know's how long he'll be gone. I just hope he comes home soon.

 

 

I pull into the driveway, tears falling down my face.

 

 

I had stopped crying for a second to realize I was home. Safely home.

 

And yet I was alone again.

 

Today would have been a big day for us to finally spend time together, vacation time together.

 

 

 

I get out of the car and grab my belongings.

 

I opened the front door of the house. The empty summer smell flowed from inside.

 

 

The memory of Brazil went through my mind as the smell of beaches and coconuts come to mind.

 

 

I set down my purse near the door. I pulled my luggage and bags near too and close the door.

 

I walked over and layed on the couch, falling down, letting gravity take over.

 

 

I had lost it to gravity for a second. I just wanted to rest for second.

 

But my mind was still on Jacob.

 

Jacob was out there, alone by himself.

 

 

I bet he's thinking of just abandoning me, to let the awkward fights pass by. 

 

My eyes rose at the mention of him leaving me. I grew restless.

 

 

But I was too tired to be angry with him. Maybe he needed to think through it.

 

Maybe it was his way of taking a break.

 

 

My eyelids grew heavy on me. The tv, blank and black. The white coach touching my skin.

 

The soft couch cushion and pillows below me.

 

I layed there motionless.

 

 

No movemet for a long time, nothing but the silence and air.

 

The sun slightly peaking through in the windows. My eyes budged to open but it refused.

 

 

I gave up and decided to nap for a bit. It wasn't a really quick flight.

 

My body rests motionless as my eyes finally make a move to open, then close them.

 

I slightly groaned as I finally felt the comfort feeling sink in.

 

--

  

I heard a knock at the door. My eyes tried to open but it wouldn't budge.

 

I was too tired. I didn't want to answer the door.

 

 

I heard the knob turn as the door is twisted open, with air flowing in.

 

I shot up my head as I am alert.

 

I see a blurred shadow at the door frame, standing tall enough to be Jacob.

 

 

My head rises to get a better look. The light from outside shines over me.

 

I sit up from the couch.

 

It wasn't who I thought i'd be, it was Rikki.

 

 

She just seemed taller from the door frame and where I was sleeping.

 

 

Concern shows on her face as I sink back into the couch.

 

She closes the door then sits down next to me.

 

''Disappointed?'' she finally says.

 

''Yeah, I thought-'' I said.

 

''That and Jacob were finally gonna make up? Have you tried going out, you can't find him on the couch.'' Rikki suggested.

 

''I've been alseep.

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