Benign Flame: Saga of Love - BS Murthy (best way to read an ebook .TXT) 📗

“If only I lose my patience, then you would know,” she said half in jest.

By then, as he felt that it was wiser for him to leave the scene before he was forced to take sides, said Prasad jokingly,

“I better leave before that happens.”

When Prasad was all set to leave, Sathyam insisted that he stayed on for dinner. However, the guest excused himself to review the situation as he drove home.

‘Oh how does one go astray when exposed to things that he was deprived of for long!’ thought Prasad getting into his Benz. ‘Sathyam is eyeing money as much as I ogle his wife. Sure he won’t let go an opportunity to grease his palms to the hilt and left to himself, he might soon acquire the vice for making money, maybe ending up being a hoarder as well. Well, that might suit his progeny, if they ever arrive, but what of me; won’t that jeopardize my idea of having his wife?’

‘It’s about time that I activate the second string of my bow,’ he resolved, answering his question all by himself. ‘As Sathyam makes those extra bucks, I should enable him to part with some of them to the sex workers, and as they give and take as well, are there any that deserve money better than them. Besides, even if the last vestiges of hesitancy were to prevent him from going the whole hog at extortion, then the need to foot the bed bills and all would ensure a vice like grip on his corrupted psyche. So, it’s time that Sathyam got hooked onto the whores. All said and done, only the charms of the call-girls could wean him away from his wife, to make way for me as her paramour. And the craftier they are, the better it is for me, isn’t it?’

‘But then, is this gambit worth the gain?’ he wondered at length. ‘Wouldn’t I have laid a couple of randies in their couches by now, that too with much less bother? Whatever, Sathyam is bound to have a time of his life, what with wine, women and all coming his way. If not for my obsession for his wife, he would have remained a frog in the marital well after all. It looks like it pays to have a smart wife, in more ways than one! That is because, I love Roopa as much as I could and crave for her more than I should.’

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‘What a fool I was, being a one-woman man all these years,’ thought Sathyam, as he headed home in pouring rain that June night. ‘Does it augur well that the monsoon too has set in today? Won’t that portend women pouring in into my bed as it were? True, this Kantha cannot hold a candle to Roopa, but didn’t she set the whole bed on fire, many times over. How promising it is that the pimp told me to expect better fare in future. Didn’t he say his top drawer was empty by the time he had my requisition on hand. How nicely he had put it, in his own pimpish manner. Isn’t it time that I had my fill, having missed the fare all along? It would cost money for sure though it shouldn’t be a problem managing the moolah. Well, if only I sit a little tight on their files, won’t the contractors cough up enough for me to maintain a harem? As Appa Rao has his guest-house all for me, can’t I look forward to having horny time with whorish frames? That is for sure.’

‘Having heard about the flesh trade all along, how I have failed to venture into it so far,’ lamented Sathyam, imagining what he might have missed all through. ‘In Kakinada, the famed Mirror House was just a stone’s throw away from my place, yet it remained too far for me. Won’t all swear that the bogamollu of Peddapuram are apart, with the required skills to please, acquired from the past masters of the flesh trade? Isn’t a visit there overdue after all? Why don’t I go there in August when the climate too would be cozy? And for home consumption, can’t I give an official colour to my sexventure?’

Thus, whetted by the anticipated escapades, Sathyam made light of the accompanying impediments,

‘What if Roopa gets wind of my doings? After all, she might cry in the beginning, only to quieten down in the end, won’t she? What else could she do, as it’s the way with all women, moreover, what she could complain as she herself is half-hearted in bed? All said and done, don’t I owe something to myself as well?’

All along, though his libido craved for sex, he was shy at courting women but with no need to be dashing with the whores, and having found them willing on their own, he felt vindicated in the brothels he came to frequent. So, as he became closer to them, he moved away from his wife, and the more he felt comfortable with the Kanthas, his discomfort with Roopa increased even more. Well, it had as much to do with the psyche of the sex workers as with the state of his mind.

Women in prostitution tend to perceive the male as the root cause of their fall, and if anything the rudeness of those who frequent them further deepens their antipathy towards men. Besides, having lost their inhibitions through constant exposure to assorted males, the whores become coarse to settle scores even with those they solicit. Yet with a considerate man, the innate woman in them comes alive, inducing them to shower themselves on him and it is thus they make such feel at home even in their brothels.

When, Roopa had reasons to suspect Sathyam’s sexual forays, she was more surprised than shocked. In time, however, as his brothel mania became a menace, she felt humiliated that he should prefer harlots to her, and at length, having been disgusted with him, she thought of confronting him.

‘He would only confirm it, demeaning me all the more, wouldn’t he?’ she felt on second thoughts. ‘Maybe, it’s my fault for having driven him into alien arms. Haven’t I offered him a cold bed, in spite of his passion for me? So, having been uncaring all along, why am I cut up with him now? Is it a case of wounded vanity then? No, it’s not so, it’s the very thought that he sleeps with all and sundry that’s bothersome. Now I’m simply unable to bring myself to take him. That’s all there’s to it.’

‘But what could I possibly do now?’ she began to deliberate coolly. ‘Precious little, but in a way, it’s a welcome development, isn’t it? I needn’t feel guilty when I make it with Raja in the end. It’s as though the last vein of his moral rein on my heart got sapped. Haven’t I always seen love as the only justification for infidelity? But now, if required, even that qualification could be waived now adultery. Why am I not a free bird now, though caged in marriage?’

Thus experiencing an indescribable relief at that thought, she felt that she couldn’t care less, but her philosophic indifference couldn’t come in handy in her daily regimen. Moreover, finding her situation humiliating, she continued to be confounded no end.

‘Hasn’t Prasad started pressing his suit further?’ Roopa reviewed her position that evening. ‘Why should not he? After all, finding me all alone, all the time, wouldn’t he have guessed that something is amiss in my life? Who knows, for all that Sathyam could have bragged about his lustful conquests. Whatever, aware that Sathyam is ignoring me; he could be licking his lips in anticipation, wouldn’t he be? Why can’t he be hoping that I might as well warm up to him, sooner than later? For all that, what’s my complaint against him? If not for his attentions, wouldn’t have Sathyam’s neglect been even more humiliating. Don’t I owe him on that count at least? Why not I let him have me? By that, won’t I be rewarding him for his perseverance while paying Sathyam back in the same coin? As and when Sathyam discovers our affair, won’t he get the taste of his own medicine?’

As though the crassness of the proposition didn’t appeal to her sensitivity, she reviewed her position all again,

‘But then, how does all that help me. All my longing for belonging would have no meaning if I were to bed with Prasad out of spite for Sathyam. When it comes to Raja, it’s not any pique but my innate love that drives me towards him, isn’t it? Besides, having stirred my heart, hasn’t he earned the right of possession over my body? So, I would give myself to him and him alone, body, and soul. Next time around, won’t I gatecrash into his life; whatever it takes me to do.’

In time, unmindful of the risk she ran on account of Prasad’s fixation for her possession, Roopa went on daydreaming about Raja Rao.

Chapter 27

Tara’s Theory

On his way to Roopa’s place that evening, Prasad began to review his position in the waiting game he was forced to play with her.

‘Left to herself, she would let my passion remain in hibernation, wouldn’t she?’ he deliberated in desperation. ‘Oh me, it’s six months since I’ve been wooing her, and isn’t that a record of failure for me? All the same, being coy to my attentions, she makes it appear as if it’s only time, before she grants it to me. It seems she’s retaining her option for a liaison without taking my tearing passion into account. It’s as if she had put my lust in her mental loft, to retrieve it for use, just in case. But why so in spite of it all?’

‘What is it that could be holding her up even now, even in her low?’ he racked his brains as he raced to her place, ‘To start with, it could be the fear of desertion that is common to all women. But haven’t I promised to make her my second wife, as and when she chooses to divorce Sathyam. It looks like her mental apathy lies in the fear of the unknown, which is common to all humans. But what is there for her to lose any more? Thanks to Sathyam’s peccadilloes, isn’t her married life already in a shambles? Perceiving herself a martyr, were it possible she’s deriving some pleasure in her suffering?’

‘Since the mental siege didn’t help to break her resolve, is not the physical ambush the only recourse left for me,” he concluded as he crossed the Secretariat. “By overwhelming her in my embrace, I should use subtle force to drag her to her bed and pin her into submission. Won’t my passion then ensure that she’s excited in her very vitals to open up her golden gate for my grand entry? Won’t then she explode on her own in time. What a rape by consent it makes, that too in her own den! It looks like there’s no other way to gain her final favor. Why delay, let me have her right away.’

Buoyed by his resolve, he leaped up the steps, and as expected, he found Roopa alone in the sofa. As she got up to greet him when he neared her, he went down on his knees, as if in supplication, and before she could come to gather her wits, he enlaced her bottom with passion and buried his head there in hope. But as she tried to withdraw in panic, he tightened his grip with urge. While she turned dumb in fright, he declared his love with emotion,

‘I’m dying for you. If you can’t have me, kill me at least.’

“Oh, get up, Tara would come,” Roopa said confusedly.

“I don’t care for once,” he said, and buried his head back into her crotch.

“Don’t be mad,” she pushed him with all her strength while pulling herself in consternation.

While he landed on