Benign Flame: Saga of Love - BS Murthy (best way to read an ebook .TXT) 📗

playing hide and seek with my love,’ she thought at length. ‘Now the least I can do is to go to his wife to hear her talk about him. Besides, that would keep me away from Prasad’s designs in the offing. More so, I could consult Sandhya for a way out of this mess, couldn’t I?’

‘Oh, how she got away, the slippery slut,’ Prasad thought in irritation, as he recovered from the embarrassment. ‘If not for Tara’s unexpected presence, it should’ve been a different story to tell, well, instead of biting the dust myself, I should’ve made her eat the humble pie, wouldn’t I have? Oh, if only I withdrew when she cautioned me. Wouldn’t have that saved the embarrassment for both of us? Surely, she would be damn cut up with me for having compromised her before Tara. Besides, haven’t I lost my face as well? It is better that I lie low for a while so that Roopa might feel pity for me in time. Why, isn’t pity a surer way to a woman’s heart than man’s chivalry? What’s the doubt about it? Well, I should wait for the right moment to strike back.’

But how were he to know that soon Raja Rao’s love would seal the oyster of Roopa’s heart to his lust for ever.

 

Chapter 28

Night of the Mates

 

At the Premier Architects’ office that August afternoon, holding Sandhya’s letter, Raja Rao was immersed in Roopa’s thoughts,

‘How miserable she could be, the poor thing,’ he sighed for the umpteenth time.

As though to get a measure of his beloved’s misery all again, he read from his wife’s letter once again.

 ‘After a fortnight’s stay here, Roopa left for Hyderabad this evening. Bogged down with her affairs all these days, I couldn’t write to you. Roopa is distraught, to say the least. She says that Sathyam has gone astray, unbelievable though it is. And to add to her misery, his friend Prasad has been pestering her for quite some time now. As I recall your reading of her situation, I am worried to death about what might lie in store for her. Though she feels she can handle her affairs on her own, I know she needs our support now more than ever. Any delay in our being near her might prove costly for all of us. I’m sure you would ensure that we forthwith move over to Hyderabad.’

As he read the letter once again as though to find a clue to Roopa’s predicament, he became nervous, and felt something within him was about to snap.

‘Oh, how my fears have come true but why have I fail to act? Shouldn’t I rush now and see if there’s something left for me to salvage?’ he thought in desperation.

Aboard the Indian Airlines flight that very evening, Raja Rao’s thoughts hovered around what Roopa’s present portends for his future.

‘What I am rushing now for? Does she want me anymore?’ he began to crystallize his situation at length. ‘Had I missed the bus or did that Prasad jump the queue? How does that matter if I lost her? Is it not possible that she would’ve given in to Prasad by now? Maybe, she couldn’t bring herself to confide in Sandhya that she was in the thick of it with him. It appears that her part-confession was but a sounding-board to prepare her pal to her affair with him. Oh, why have I delayed declaring my love to her? How costly would that prove for me?’

As the thought of life without Roopa depressed him, even the attentions paid by the pretty air hostess failed to impress him.

‘Am I destined to suffer in regret for letting her slip into Prasad’s embrace?’ he felt gloomy at the thought. ‘If she’s already carrying on with him, what sense does it make for me to shift over there now? Won’t that be a suicidal move for me? What an irony it would be, had she transferred her affections to another, even as I’m on the verge putting in my papers for her! Anyway, the moment of truth seems to be on hand for me. Let me see what her life would reveal to me.’

When the plane landed at Begumpet, he left the airport with alacrity and with his heart in his mouth; he rushed to Roopa’s place in a taxi.

Pacing up the steps, as he pressed the doorbell, he felt as though his heart was short-circuited, and when Roopa opened the door tentatively, as her heart missed its beat at his sight, she was breathless. Unable to comprehend their respective positions, staring at each other, they stood rooted at the threshold, he with his briefcase in hand and she with her bathing towel over her shoulders.

“Won’t you let me come in?” he said, at last.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she gave him way, and bolted the door after him as though to secure him once and for all.

“How do you do?” he said looking at her longingly.

“Pulling on,” she mumbled, unable to come to terms with his unexpected arrival.

“It’s been so long since we last met,” he said as he sat down.

“It’s over seven months, I thought you’d forgotten me,” she sighed as she said.

“How can you say that?” he said in protest.

“You would know if only you’re a woman,” she said in despair.

‘Being a man, it’s none the better for me,” he said dejectedly.

“You should blame yourself for that,” she sounded critical in spite herself.

“But how’s that?” he exclaimed in pain.

“Haven’t you prefixed forgetfulness to your maleness,” she said in vexation.

‘What do you mean?’ he protested haplessly.

‘Haven’t you failed to turn up as promised?” she said as the bitterness his earlier failure to meet her overtook the sweetness his presence occasioned.

“You would never know how desperate I was to meet you then,” he said as his tone got the measure of his frustration, as he recalled his state of mind in which he had to leave for Bangalore that day.

“Where there is a will there is a way, isn’t it?” she said still smarting under the hurt of the perceived let down.

“Believe me Roopa, there was no way I could’ve come to see you. I had to catch the train on the move as it were,” he said and added after a pause,

“I even thought of writing to you, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that.”

“You should’ve written, that would’ve made so much difference to me,” she said in the same vein.

“Roopa, why don’t you try to understand me?” he said with a loving tone.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said as her love, aided by the presence of her lover, abetted her mind to overpower the bitterness it bore.

“Let bygones be bygones,” he said smilingly.

“I only felt like pouring out my pain to you, go have your bath,” she said placing his briefcase on the teapoy.

When he made it to the bathroom, she began setting the dinner ready for them.

“We’ll wait for Sathyam,” he said as he came out of the bathroom.

“I don’t intend to starve you till he returns from his four-day tour; think of it, what a coincidence that he was away when you first came with Sandhya!” she said smiling.

But then, how were she to know about Sathyam’s peccadilloes at Peddapuram on that supposedly official trip. Besides, at the threshold of the golden moment of her life, even if she were aware of it then, maybe, she couldn’t have cared less.

‘Oh, I see, I thought I could stay here for a couple of days,” he said tentatively.

“Do you think I would show you the door after dinner?” she said smilingly.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he said a little confounded.

‘But I mean to tell you everything, wait, I’ll have my bath and come,” she said getting up from the dining chair.

‘Probably, it’s all over between us bar sighing,’ he thought pensively, sinking into a dining chair. ‘Hasn’t she said that my letter would’ve made so much difference to her? Oh, does that not imply that I have lost out to Prasad? Is it any consolation that I was her first choice? What if her current concern is the courtesy of her past feelings? Or is her friendliness owing to my being Sandhya’s husband? What sense does the relocation to Hyderabad make for me? Won’t I feel miserable seeing her carrying on with someone else? What sort of a reward it would be for my unrequited love for her if Prasad were to turn up now. Won’t that embarrass us all, and what’s worse, my presence might lead to a misunderstanding between them. I better pack up after dinner for it’s not fair to spoil her party with her paramour. How stupid I am to lose a woman like her when she could have been mine for the asking!’

‘Isn’t it Godsend,’ thought Roopa in relief, making use of the soap he used, even as she recalled the bath of fetish that she had had with his soap during his first visit to her place. ‘Have I not been waiting for this day all my life? Oh, finally my destiny seems to have kept its date with him! I’ll make him mine even if it comes to raping him, won’t I? How we could indulge in lovemaking day and night for three days at a stretch. Well, without a care in the world. How fortuitous that he came at a time when Prasad too went on a foreign jaunt! Why can’t I expect him to take the initiative now? It’s clear that his passion for me is kicking and alive though shrouded in hesitancy. Won’t his manner reveal that? If only I signal my urge for him, won’t he engulf me with his innate passion for me?

‘But to be more woman like, what if I wait for his advances,’ she thought having developed second thoughts about her own abashment. ‘Surely he has come in the hope of possessing me. But still he may be constrained to overtly seek me for fear of scandalizing me. Oh no, now if I fail to be explicit in my invitation, won’t he take me to be a flirt and dismiss me forever? If I don’t let him have me now, I might as well forget about him in this life, maybe in the lives that follow. Well, come what may, I shall grab this opportunity of a lifetime, now and here, with both hands at that. Once he has me, won’t he keep me in his embrace forever as I lay there in coyness? Haven’t I suffered enough to deserve the solace of his love? Have I any stomach left for misery, anymore?’  

Soon, as they sat for dinner, she served him silently as if the distraction of their conversation would hamper his partaking. However, construing her contemplative mood as a proof of her embarrassment, he felt depressed at the tragedy of his own making.

At length, when they rose from the table, sensing his predicament, giving him pan, she opened up,

 “I’m glad you haven’ gone to the Ritz now, did Sandhya prevail upon you?”

“You know Sandhya is at Kakinada now,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” she said extending her hand.

 I’ve come to see you on my own,” he said taking it heartily.

“That makes it doubly welcome, won’t it?” she said bringing her other hand into the equation.

“I’m doubly grateful,” he said pressing her hand with his.  

“Now that you’ve expressed your gratitude, shall I bid you goodnight?” she said coyly.

“No, tell me about you,” finding her gesture inviting, he played his move, to probe her position.

“Don’t you know that face is the index of mind,” she said bowing her head.

“You look a little pulled down,” he said lovingly.

“Didn’t I tell you that I’m just pulling on?” she said looking into his eyes ardently.

“Sandhya wrote to me that you’re having a hard time,” he said hesitantly

“Do you think Sathyam’s neglect and Prasad’s pestering could bother me really, they are just allergies, but my ailment is different,” she said as though showing her cards.

“May I know what it