Cliche - ninja jinx (the two towers ebook .txt) š
- Author: ninja jinx
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I swung the bag onto my shoulders when I was done and grabbed a pair of sandals from the floor, and listened for any movement from downstairs. I felt like I was robbing the damn place. I snuck out using my epic ninja skills, and I even tried rolling on the floor, but boy was it an epic fail.
āOk bye Mrs. Tuckerā I whispered quietly, because I donāt think I can face her after I know what sheās done. Cue the winking people. But of course this is Mrs. Tucker where talking about, the lady with inhuman hearing. She can hear anything, and I mean it. āBye honey. Oh, and can you tell Sarah to come home, itās been three daysā she screeched. āThree daysā I mutter, āI wonder what she was doingā I whispered to myself. āWhat?ā
āOh yeah, inhuman hearing. Forgotā.
āNothing Mrs. Tucker just singingā I screamed back. āWow, arenāt I just smooth when it comes to making excusesā. Note the sarcasm people.
I bolted out of the house and toyed with the thought of telling Sarahās mum that Sarah was pregnant. After all, this really did cause a lot of stress for me. Na, itāll be better if I donāt. Even Iām not that cruel, and I suppose I still want to be Sarahās friendā¦.deep down.
I unlocked my car and swung the bag into the backseat, the car creaking and complaining under the sudden weight. āShush upā I muttered, āyou canāt complain now, we have a pregnant woman on the looseā.
It gave another loud groan as I got in and I hit the dash board, āyou calling me fatā I shrieked mockingly. And yes my car and I have a very tight bond; Iāve had it for ages.
Like I said before, the trip wasnāt that long, and by the time I was at the front door I got this bad feeling in my tummy. It was like a washing machine and I clutched the duffel bag to my chest more securely.
āOh shit, why is there a bitch in my house?!ā
Ok, letās take a breather people. I wasnāt talking about a Sarah or anyone else. No what I meant was that there was a legit bitch in my house. You know those hairy creatures that bark a lot. Yeah thatās what I was talking about.
Anyhow back to the story. So there I was staring at this beast; which might I say was eating what looked like brains. And I nearly shat myself. āOh my god, what if what itās eating is actually Sarah?ā
This beast thing committed murder, and Iāll be charged of felony!
Holy mother of Jebus.
Cue the music. āDan Dan duhā.
āOh Sarah I should have come home sooner. Now youāre just a pile of ugly intestinesā I wailed as I fell to my feet defeated āand I wasted petrolā.
The dog turned its hideous face to me, and I knew at that moment it was my end.
Au revoir world, itās sad to see Iāll never get to finish watching Avatar. Its eyes lit up and were glowing a bright red. Oh shit itās a demonic dog.
āIsabelā¦why are you on the floor?ā I heard a voice call from above.
Looking to the ceiling I called āHoly fudge monkeys is that you SpongeBob?ā
āHuh?ā was the bright reply.
āOh now I can die a happy womenā
āWait whatā
āI just wish I had been able to save Sarah and the baby then-ā
āBut Iām right hereā
āThen it allā¦wait whatā
There was silence as I saw someone descend the stairs.
āIsabel I donāt know whatās going onā
Oh would you look at that, Sarah seems perfectly unscathedā¦ha, ha, ha. Laugh it off Bellyā¦.
But then the dogā¦.
āOh my God Sarah donāt come any closer. Thereās a demonic dog thatāll eat your brains! So stay backā I bellowed.
Silence.
No! The dog must have gotten her.
āIsabel this is scruffels, heās my dogā¦ā
Oh shit that āthingā was her dog. Thatblading demonic fiend. Wow, what is the world coming to?
āOh right I knew thatā I muttered lamely as I got up and dusted fake dust particles. Sarah had the decency to not comment on my epic fail, because if she did, Iāll probably punch her and send her to heaven.
Ok, Iām not always violent, itās just you mess with my pride, you mess with me. I have a huge ego and mum says itās from dad. I guess you could relate him to me in that aspect, but Iām more of a motherās child.
āDid you bring the clothes?ā Sarah enquired as she petted the dogās head. āYeah hereā I said as I handed her the bag, āand that thing stays outsideā.
She pouted her lips as she gave me her biggest eyes, and it truly made her look like her eyeballs were going to shoot out of their sockets. āMy house, my rules.ā
Few hours later
āSarah how did you get āpregnantā in the first place?ā I inquired as I sat cross legged on the bed. There was a mumbling on the other side of the door, before she opened it and sauntered out in some jeans and a tight black shirt. Was it just me, or did she look a little bit fatter?
She flopped down on the bed and I tumbled forward. Yes, Iām not exactly the strongest and heaviest person in the world. āWell, how should I begin?ā
āYou could start from the startā I said impatiently. Because seriously I am really curious, and the suspense has been killing me.
āFine, well at first I had started vomiting and I thought I was sick of some yucky disease, but then I didnāt get my period and I was like āoh my godā. So I went to the pharmacy or whatever and got one of those tests, and went into their bathroom. Then when the thing was revealed I was like having a break down. I was pregnant. It was like my world was crashing down on me. My fame, my life, everything. So I came here, because this was where I knew my saving grace wasā
Saving grace my ass.
āWhoās the fatherā I asked and the silence which befell us was likeā¦ā¦.
She cleared her throat awkwardly and shifted in her spot. Oh no, this is not going to be good.
āThe principleā¦ā
Oh shit people, call 911, I just had a heart attack.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe inā¦.
āWHAT THE HELL!ā
āI-it w-wasā. Yeah bitch stutter all you want, but I am not letting this go.
āI-I m-mean, it was the only way to get him to let me have a perfect report!ā she wailed.
Huh?
āI was failing all my classes and mum said if I failed this term sheāll said me to a nunneryā.
āSo you slept with the principleā.
Meekly nodding her head she wiped her eyes, and I felt defeated at that moment. Why was I helping her?
āAnd any way, I wouldnāt have done āitā if he wasnāt good in bedā she whispered timidly.
Oh my god, this isnāt the first time. Ok now Iāve been sent to heaven.
āSarah, what are you going to doā I said as I fell on my back. Shrugging her shoulders she looked at me, āthatās why I came hereā she said brightly.
How is it me thatās the most disturbed by this? Grrr, stupid youth.
āDoes he know that you carry his child?ā I asked.
āNo. I havenāt told himā¦.ā
āYou shouldā I muttered. āBut this is your problem, so you take the next stepsā.
Stretching as I got up, I glanced at her to see that she had tears filling her eyes.
āIāll just helpā.
She smiled gratefully as she rubbed her hand soothingly against her bump.
āAre you going to keep it?ā
āYeah.ā She said gently, and for a moment I saw a different side to Sarah. Maybe this baby could help her see the world in a different lightā¦.
āBut do you think Iām going to put on some weight?ā
Just kidding.
Chapter 3: the hunger games
Chapter 3: The hunger games
āOh my god Isabel, I am so hungry!ā Sarah cried as she raided my cupboards and stuffed her cheeks. āNo shit Sherlockā I muttered darkly as she ate my food in front of me. āI can just die of hunger. I mean no offense but-ā
Ok time to tune her out.
Signing I grabbed the TV remote and flipped through the channels. News, cartoon, ad, newsā¦.holy cows, the Looney Tunes. Step back people because Bugs Bunny is entering the ho- āIsabel are you even listening to me!ā Sarah screeched as she flung herself on the sofa. āIām bloody hungry and-ā
āSo? What do you want me to do?ā Ok, yes I know sheās pregnant, but no one gets in the way of the classic cartoons. āI want you to get your ass to the market and buy me some bloody foodā she screamed. Ok crazy women holding a bar of chocolate in her hand and beating the crap out of the cushion. āOk calm down Sarahā I said soothingly, āput the weapon down and step away from the cushion.ā
āHa, ha, ha never you mongrel. This is the end; prepare to meet your doom!ā
Cue music.
Wait, what am I doing! And whatās with these lines, I mean talk about clichĆ©.
āFine, Iāll get you some food. Just donāt burn the house down and donāt bring that dog inā.
If it is a dogā¦
āYip-yip, food.ā What the hell was that noiseā¦.
āWhat do pregnant women want anyway?ā I groaned as I got up and made my way to the door.
This is so tiresome, and here I thought I could spend my time blissfully enjoying the holidaysā¦.
Grabbing my car keys and my purse I made my way outside and into the hot summer day. Where the sun was whipping at my back and beating the air out of me. I was so grateful to reach my truck and I nearly sang and praised the Lord.
But of course nothing goes my way, and the car just happened to ābreak downā. Though I have my suspicions that a greater power is at work here. Or some hobo used some magic and murdered my car. Ah, imagine the headlines. āHobo who kills cars, could your car be next?ā
Snorting I leaned my back against the exterior and stared blankly at my house. It was an average two story complex and was painted a pale blue. The front lawn had a random fountain at the front, which was right in the center. And the flowers surrounding it were all withered, but thatās to be expected from this heat.
Ok, well I canāt really enter the house or Iām sure to get skinned alive and hanged from the washing line. And I canāt really hitch hike because I may be gagged and raped. So the only option is to walk. Oh my god, shoot me now. Either way, Iāll probably die of thirst and starvation before collapsing. But itās the only option I have.
After walking the grueling path to the shops
I made it! And itās so good to feel the cool air after entering the market. But I canāt savor the moment for too long, because Sarah might do something rash if I donāt come home with food. Ok, what to get.
Looking around I realized I should have asked Sarah what she wanted. I tried calling her, but she didnāt answer. Oh no, sheās probably lying dead on the floor
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