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me into a tight embrace. So tight that I couldn't breath.

 

 

Then my mind interuppted. I didn't want this moment to end weirdly, but it did.

 

"Uh Jacob, a little to tight." I finally said.

 

 

He pulls away, as I straighten myself up.

 

He motioned with still hands, towards me and looked at me again.

 

 

It's been so long since we've stood face to face.

 

 

I didn't want it to be awkward between us.

 

I decide to say something.

 

"I'm back."

 

 

Stupid.

 

He's happy for a second, then his expression disappears.

 

''Me too.'' he finally says.

 

-- 

 

The backyard had less flowers from before, when I last saw it.

 

And the cabinets were filled up.

 

I looked all around at the famaliar house that I had lived in for years.

 

 

Then I plop down on the couch after.

 

 

"I can't remember anything, about living here the past year." I said.

 

I breathe in slowly, smelling the air and the scent of the room.

 

 

The scent was like early summer and late spring and brisk of something else I couldn't capture.

 

The hot season was coming to New York soon, and then it'll reach the suburbs.

 

 

I look over to Jacob who watches me getting comfortable.

 

He didn't leave the front door the moment I stepped in, even after he closed it.

 

 

But I can sense why.

 

 

"Where's the gang?" I asked filling the silence.

 

"They're all at Central Park. I can take you there to see them if you want." Jacob said finally.

 

 

I felt like we had lost our connection.

 

The conversation was flat.

 

I mean, I just got out of jail early. Nobody would have proper words to say about that.

 

 

I didn't want us to lose the connection of our relationship. 

 

 

It had been 1 year. So much can change in that alone.

 

But I think it's gone. Our connection.

 

I barely recognize him anymore.

 

 

"How do you feel about me. You know,...getting out of jail. After a whole year." I asked.

 

 

Jacob paused, then paced around the living room. He stops near the couch and scratches his head for a second.

 

 

"I don't know...I mean. You're out and you're here. I missed you a lot." he finally spills.

 

"I missed you too....of course, when I found out I was getting released today, I thought this is early-"

 

 

"Wait, you got out early?" he asked abruptly.

 

 

"Yes," I hesitated to say.

 

 

I didn't think much about it. At least I knew I was getting out early.

 

And now I have see what his reaction is.

 

 

"I mean, yeah of course. Guess I got lucky." I said, twisting my fingers.

 

 

"I can't believe this," Jacob started.

 

I look up at him in surprise.

 

"You were in jail for a year. And you didn't think of me or the others. About how we'd react.'' he says, more serious now.

 

I stutter on my response.

 

''Jacob, mean I did, but you gotta understand...once you're in jail. You can't remember the life you had before.'' I implied.

 

 

Jacob sighs, looking to the side.

 

''I missed you a lot, Elle. In fact the whole time you were gone. Living without you, felt like missing a season throughout the year. I even thought about moving on to better things, at least once. But I couldn't shake the fact of leaving you. Here alone.'' he blurts.

 

 

I tried to look away from him, but my eyes couldn't.

 

 

''I missed you. And now, you come back...and-" Jacob stuttered on his words.

 

''Talk like this, like you never even missed me?'' he finished.

 

 

''Jacob, of course I missed you....I just-'' I started.

 

"What?" he asked.

 

I struggle to finish my words.

 

 

"I missed you so much, everday. I didn't thin that I would see you again."

 

"That's an excuse." Jacob spouted.

 

"It's not," I start.

 

"You didn't think of the consequences. Your family, your mom and dad. Both of us, our relationship. We hadn't seen each other in-"

 

"Ages, I know." I silently reply.

 

 

I didn't know how felt that about it realistically.

 

He may have even thought about cheating. Probably.

 

I don't know what happened after I left for the year, while I was locked up.

 

 

When I didn't answer him, he spoke.

 

''For a long time since you were gone, you were the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. I was trying to get back into my regular routine. You don't know how much it hurt, to hope and pray that you'd be safe and come home.'' he interuppts.

 

 

Once I didn't say a word, Jacob finally sat down next to me. His hands wrap around mine.

 

''I'd dream about you once in a while, missing you more and more. Because it feels like i've lost you again."

 

 

My eyes harden, as I tried to remember the feel of his hands.

 

I realized what he meant. During the time we fought in Paris and I flew to Mumbai, he felt like he lost me.

 

I didn't realize how awful I made him feel all over again.

 

 

Nobody deserves that.

 

Not even Jacob.

 

 

Finally, I respond.

 

 

''I don't know how i'm going to just live, regularly again. Knowing you had these thoughts about me.''

 

I was about to cry, hearing all those words leave my mouth.

 

 

He had so much to say, and I couldn't give a proper response that could make it better.

 

 

"I'm so sorry that I was gone for so long. I shouldn't have done what I've done. But it was for protection. The person I once knew, was somebody else for the first time in my life. I had to leave."

 

 

Jacob sighed, letting go of my hands.

 

"You did a bad thing," he says.

 

"I know." My voice begins to crack.

 

"But honestly, I made a stupid mistake in my past hurting him. And despite that, he was a great father to begin with.'' i said again.

 

''I know.'' he replies softly.

 

 

I felt a little better hearing him respond.

 

''I was so dumb to run away and have a curious thought I wouldn't get caught. I didn't think that I could go to jail for that,...he was so close to me." I said, almost audible

 

 

"I'm sorry," I said.

 

 

My voice faltered in the end and I felt my eye well up with tears.

 

Just then, Jacob pulled me in for a hug before I could speak.

 

He knew that i'd eventually cry over my own words.

 

 

I wiped my tears from my eyes.

 

I felt sorry enough for myself.

 

I didn't want to make Jacob feel this way anymore.

 

 

But I held on tight for him.

 

"Look, life has it's fault. Even for you. You were locked up...but it's okay now. You're home with me and your friends." Jacob said looking down at me.

 

"Thank you." I said.

 

 

What his words did to me, made me realize how much I didn't want to see him this way.

 

Ever again.

 

And if I could convince him, that i've changed right now. It would be that.

 

I'm trying again.

 

 

And this time, I won't let things get to me.

 

I meant it.

 

 

I don't want to go back to jail anymore. It was torture for me.

 

I couldn't dream of going back.

 

 

But i'm home now.

 

 

Jacob pulls back a piece of my overflowing hair, bringing my attention back to him.

 

 

"Why don't we go to Central Park. So we can catch up with the gang, how'd you like that?" Jacob said, smiling again.

 

"Yes, i'd like to see that." I said.

  

 

 

We drove out to the park. The air was breezy and the sky of trees followed above us as we walked.

 

''I'm so glad you're back. It's such a relief for you to be home, especially for the others.'' Jacob says.

 

I smiled for a second.

 

"I'm happy to be home too. To spend time with you." I say.

 

 

We vicariously walk side by side through the park.

 

 

We spot everyone, over near a tree.

 

It was where Marybella lit up a cigarette. For the last time.

 

I smile at the memory.

 

 

I still can't believe that I remembered that.

 

 

But I don't think that memory would come back to me at a happier time.

 

 

"Hey!" Jacob said to everyone.

 

Everyone waved and greeted him.

 

He's quick to meet them, and i'm left making the slow walk to where they are.

 

 

Jacob was friendly with everyone. It looks like he spent time with them individually.

 

I guess Jacob had time over the past year to become close with everyone.

 

Given that he was absent in the year before that.

 

 

I could see it in his face.

 

He grew close with the gang, and I somehow lost that connection.

 

I felt saddened again. How would everyone react?

 

 

I peered from the end to see everyone. They all looked so happy in the moment.

 

I saw Marybella, and I silently gasped.

 

She looked lively.

 

 

I guess the surgery from last year did some good for her lungs.

 

Rikki looked normal again, but I don't see Jason around. 

 

I guess this means they really broke up.

 

 

But it was a relief. She no longer needed him.

 

I can tell.

 

 

"Everyone, Elle's back." Jacob said, motioning his hands to me.

 

 

The gang looks surprised and stunned. 

 

I looked at everyone with big eyes, as if I hadn't seen them in my life before.

 

It was very silent for a while, until movment struck among them.

 

 

Marybella was the first to approach me.

 

She was slow and unsure at first, then picked up the pace.

 

 

I felt happy that she approached me first.

 

I stood still, watching her gaze at me, up and down.

 

She hesitated at first, then hugged me tight.

 

 

"Elle." she said softly in my ear.

 

I hugged her back quickly. Just the mention of my name coming from her words made me speechless.

 

I nearly cried but I held myself back.

 

 

I didn't want to make it emotional.

 

"Elle." she said softly then happily.

 

"Marybella." I said back.

 

 

I removed my face from her shoulder.

 

 

"Rikki, come over here." Marybella said, turning to the rest of them.

 

Everyone else stays still. It's just Jacob and Mark left, as Rikki finally comes to us.

 

 

There's a gleam on her face as she comes closer to me.

 

Rikki had cut her hair, she looked much more better than before.

 

 

I just hope that she can forgive me for the fight we had, before I left.

 

God knows we need to get over that situation.

 

 

She squeezed me into an embrace and then looked into my eyes.

 

"I'm so glad you're out mate, I hope you'll be fine now. I missed you." she said.

 

 

I smiled widely, feeling my tears form.

 

That was all I wanted to hear. To hear her talk to me.

 

She looks down on me, burying my face into her shoulder.

 

 

"Don't cry, you'll make me cry. I missed you." she said.

 

I silently sob into her, making my tears fall faster.

 

 

Her curly hair brushed my forehead.

 

I quickly realize i've been hugging her for too long. I lean up, wiping my tears.

 

 

I look at her, as her smiles begins to thin away.

 

 

''Come on, let's talk.'' she says.

 

Her right arm drapes over to my shoulder, and Marybella follows along too.

 

 

 

"So, after I was hauled away-" I start.

 

Marybella and Rikki look at me, then exchange looks

 

 

By the looks on their face, I knew they wanted to avoid that question.

 

But I needed answers and to make sure I knew how they felt, how everyone felt.

 

 

Marybella insists on Rikki to go first, but Rikki beckons her.

 

Bella rolls her eyes and turns to me.

 

 

"Well, at first it was kinda sad to see you go. But then it got worse. Every single day, knowing you're not here anymore." she starts.

 

 --

 

Marybella's P.O.V

 

 

When she broke the news to me just a year ago, I busted into tears.

 

I couldn't believe she had killed her step-father. It wasn't like Elle to do that or at least I thought.

 

 

I knew Sara had been behind her arrest the whole time. I just hope she never comes back here.

 

She's done enough to put my best friend in jail.

 

 

I rub Elle's hand for a second as she looks down to the ground.

 

Telling her how I felt was weird, she doesn't deserve the hear the struggle we've all been through.

 

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

''I got signed out of the hospital and went back home. I got better and now i'm just happy you're back.'' Bellafinally said.

 

''Thanks.'' I replied.

 

 

I pick at my nails Marybella looked over to Rikki, she shrugs her shoulders.

 

We didn't know what to do, I was happy to be back. And were happy.

 

 

But it feels different.

 

The whole year has been absent-minded without me, even christmas. I never got to put up the decorations with her.

 

I felt lonely, even if Jacob tried to comfort me.

 

 

"So the year was pretty rough huh?" I say, filling the silence,

 

 

"It did had times when I felt sad for not having you here. We all missed you so much, and I even promised to you that I wouldn't let Jacob cheat on you." Marybella said.

 

 

I laughed in response.

 

Rikki interupped.

 

"I remember this

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