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can finally be the role model she always knew I was.

 

 

"Hey, Elle, nice seeing you back here. Even after a year." she said nervously.

 

"Yep, you know. Life happens. Is there something wrong?" I asked, looking at her expression.

 

 

She looked out of it, as if talking to me was another task.

 

And she didn't seem interested to continue the starting conversation.

 

 

Ruby must have felt out of place when she noticed me.

 

As if she was an old friend, who didn't want to see me.

 

 

"Oh, i've gotta go. I'll see you around,"

 

"What? you can tell me what's wrong." I said to her.

 

"It's nothing,...it's just that you weren't here to give me advice, when I needed it the most like you said." she protested

 

"I'm sorry, I was occupied. By serving-"

 

"Jail time. Everyone knows." she said sternly.

 

 

She was angry, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

 

"How does it make you feel towards me, now that I work here again? I can still give you advice. There's nothing sad about that fact anymore." I said trying to cheer her up.

 

 

Her mood made me realize how much I had missed out on, teaching her my ways since I met her last year.

 

I barely saw the same girl from before. She was different too.

 

 

"Well it's too late, I don't know you anymore, Elle. You tell me where you've been for the past year." Ruby blurted.

 

I hesitate.

 

"I'm back home now, I-"

 

 

Ruby interuppted.

 

 "You were gone. Thank so much for promising me last year that you were gonna be my boss. Then, you get sent to jail. Thank you." Ruby said.

 

 

A crowd of interns passing by, gave me looks as they all turned away.

 

 

Ruby was so different from what I thought, even her looks.

 

Last year, you could've mistake her for a freshman in college.

 

But now she looks full grown.

 

 

Even her hair looked different, a deep dark coffee brown. Her style wasn't simple anymore.

 

It was more fashionable then she was used too.

 

 

And then it all hit me again, I had forgotten how many people I let down.

 

It was not just my friends and Jacob.

 

 

It was other people I knew too.

 

 

I'm interuppted from my thoughts as I look up to see Ruby grow tired of my response.

 

I was tired of being quiet and not saying something back quickly.

 

She exits with a group of interns, and i'm was left to just stare and wonder.

 

 

"It's okay, she didn't mean it." Marybella said comforting me.

 

She slides her arms over my black knit sweater, making me feel warm again.

 

 

I sighed as we slowly walked over to the glass doors.

 

 

I had enough of my first stressful day back into the life I had missed so much.

 

And I thought it could be worse.

 

 

But it's already more bad than I thought.

 

 

 

After lunch, we all went back to our positions and it was quieter than usual in FARELLE.

 

Nobody talked or moved.

 

It turned out Jeff from last year moved on to work at KARL magazine.

 

 

And Marcus was moved up to secretary to the board of the design department.

 

I was kind of jealous. While i'm here starting over as an assitant, everyone has moved on.

 

 

I'm such a failure.

 

 

I sorted files and certain things I never knew Sara had experienced when she was my assitant.

 

I never knew how tiring and boring her job was.

 

 

"Elle?" Marybella said interuppting the silence.

 

"What?" I said excited.

 

"Do you mind coming over later today, I have something i want to talk about with you." she says.

 

 

"Sure, iIhope Jacob's gonna be fine with me leaving the house." I said.

 

 

I shoved a piece of paper back into a folder.

 

Marybella smiled, then left.

 

 

In the near distance, I spotted Rikki picking flowers from a vase on Roxie's desk.

 

 

She was not here, so the coast was clear to mess around with her stuff.

 

But i'm stopped by Rikki's eyes on me from the desk.

 

''Jacob will mind? You've been gone for a year, i'm sure he won't mind.'' Rikki implied.

 

 

"Are you coming too?" I said to her.

 

"Yeah," she says.

 

She walks over to my desk in no hesitation.

 

 

Then walks past on her way elsewhere. She leaves the vase of red tipped flowers to their dismay.

 

I watch her leave before I turn back to the flowers.

 

 

Marybella comes back in a hurry to speak to me.

 

''We can talk while we redecorate my mug cabnient?'' she continues.

 

I jump up in suprise.

 

 

Man I am really off the edge.

 

 

''Sounds good to me.'' I replied.

 

 

Bella walks back with her agents to her office, while I return to more boring work.

 

It was awful enough, I needed a break.

 

 

 

The rest of the day was bad. People treated me like I was nothing, but a thrown in jail writer to be forgotten again.

 

But I held on strong, for Jacob and me.

 

I can't let people's words get to me.

 

 

The drive back home was hypontic, the hum of the engine and the wheels rolling on the road made me feel numb throughout the drive.

 

And while I watched the street lights turn on, there was something missing about me.

 

 

My passion was gone, I had a feeling it would sometime or later.

 

But not now.

  

 

 

I knock Marybella's door and hear soft footsteps near.

 

 

''Elle, come in.'' Marybella said, warmly.

 

New things were put in her house when I entered in.

 

 

I guess Bella kept herself busy while I was gone.

 

 

I shift and take off my jacket off as I enter into the new designed living room.

 

I barely recognized it, since Christmas...

 

 

Bella appears again from the other side of the living room.

 

''Mark is on a business trip today, so feel free to look around if you want.'' Marybella said.

 

 

"Cool, I'll snoop in your room to find candy." I said jokingly.

 

"First drawer on the right nightstand. It's mine." Bella responds.

 

"It's not fun when you spoil it." I said tiredly.

 

 

She chuckles as I tread to the living room.

 

I walk to the kitchen as my eyes settle on the new display of everything.

 

 

''Wow, a lot has changed since I was last here.'' I said leaning on the kitchen counter.

 

''Yep, since we had time after surgery and therapy...we decorated.'' she replied happily.

 

 

"We?" I said.

 

"Me and Mark of course."

 

 

I smiled for a second as my eyes roam the new look inside the house.

 

I felt jealous.

 

I kinda thought this was our thing.

 

 

''Oh I forgot, do you still have your engagment ring?'' I asked suddenly.

 

''Yes.'' Bella said, stretching her hand.

 

 

She shows me the ring.

 

''Oh my god, it's so beautiful. Just like when I last saw it. In the hospital.'' I trailed off.

 

 

I was so happy to still see Marybella and Mark make that big move in their lives.

 

And even after a full year of me not being around, they managed to stay together.

 

Possibly for my sake.

 

 

I felt my eyes burn and tears started to form. 

 

I told myself that I wasn't gona cry anymore, but I couldn't in that moment.

 

 

''It's okay Elle, you're home now. No more, stupid jail to go to.'' Marybella said pulling me into an embrace.

 

''I know, I just can't imagine how much my life has changed since I saw you guys.'' I said hugging her back.

 

''It's only been 1 year, nothing changed. Only the fact of not having you here was the biggest change in all of our lives.'' Marybella said, she rubbed my back.

 

 

''So how about those mugs?'' I said.

 

Changing the topic was good.

 

I wiped my tears as I forced a smile.

 

 

''Right this way.'' Marybella said.

 

''So i was thinking all the colorful mugs on one shelf and all the regular ones on the bottom. Then the small cups go into the other cabnient.'' Bella points out.

 

''Sure thing.'' I replied

 

 

I reached over to the mugs Marybella pointed at.

 

She hurries into the dining room to grab a box full of other cups.

 

 

As I stood in silence, I pushed brightly colored designed mugs into the cabnient.

 

 

''Elle, can I say something.'' Marybella said breaking the silence.

 

She enters back into the kitchen and sets the box of cups down.

 

After that she leans up and looks to me.

 

 

''What?'' I asked shifting to her.

 

There was silence before she says anything . I watch the light leave her eyes for a second.

 

It's eery and quiet as I straighten up and prepared for her answer.

 

 

''Have you ever thought about having babies?'' she asked softly.

 

 

I take a deep breath in relief.

 

I nearly laugh at her answer. I then begin to smile, as if I was embarassed.

 

 

My eyes wonder around her figure for a few seconds, then my eyes finally meets Bella's.

 

''Sure, I want kids. Do you?'' I replied.

 

''Yes, but I always dreamed of raising them in Russia. 3 little boys and 1 girl. I thought my whole life, I would be in Russia. But then New York gave me a chance and now i'm here.'' Marybella said.

 

"Bella, you shouldn't feel bad about New York. You got an offer and took it, now you're living the best life. You met me, Rikki and even Mark. Just because things didn't go to plan, doesn't mean it all falls to shit." I say.

 

I rearrange the mugs again.

 

''So tell me what this is about?'' I asked turning to her.

 

 

Marybella fiddled with her fingers before answering.

 

''I should have told you, that I didn't invite you over here to help me with setting up things.'' she said.

 

 

I turned to her with concerned as my face leave the current mug I held.

 

''Why did you invite me over here?'' I asked.

 

 

Her eyes wonder the ground before finally looking up at me.

 

''I can't have kids.'' she finally says

 

 

My eyes open up a little, I didn't know what to say next.

 

My mouth was left agape.

 

Did she ask me if I wanted kids, only to react to her answer?

 

 

''Why? Is it....Mark?'' I asked anxious.

 

''No, it's not Mark. It's me.'' Marybella replied.

 

 

I stared at her for a while.

 

''Wha-, you can't have kids? Or you don't wanna have kids?'' I asked feeling confused.

 

 

She sighed moving behind the counter where she stood.

 

I followed her movments, standing behside her.

 

 

"After the surgery, the cancer effected everything else in my body before that. After a few tests, I found out that things inside me....resisted to certain change. Like the need to be able to get pregnant. I wanted to tell someone, but I figured it'd better be you." Marybella said.

 

She faces the window, as I saw her reflection.

 

Marybella was not smiling.

 

 

I stare motionless beside her, waiting patiently for her to say something back. As if it was all a joke.

 

She wasn't kidding.

 

 

There must be something I can do for her since, I left her in the hospital when I was pulled away in jail.

 

All this talk made me emotional again.

 

 

''Marybella I can carry your child?'' I said abruptly.

 

Marybella turned to me. '

 

'Elle-''

 

''No, if this is what you want. I'm willing to give birth to your child, anything for you.'' I interuppted her.

 

 

''Elle, after the surgery it was clearly stated I can't have babies. Or the risk of it can danger me. Cancer did this to me.'' she replied.

 

''Do you still have lung cancer, is this why you can't have babies?'' I asked, mad.

 

 

''No and...but i'm still surprised I get to keep my head full of hair. But I don't want Mark to be involved with this, I don't want to put my body samples or his into you, so I can have kids.'' she said.

 

''So, you want me to do nothing?'' I replied back.

 

''Nothing, I want you to be a friend. I'm adopting, soon i'll have a little one running around. One that I can dress up in cute clothes and obsess over.'' she says with a smile.

 

Marybella seemed happy in the minutes and grinned.

 

 

''Are you sure? Is this is what Mark wants?'' I say.

 

''Yes, we talked about this a million times and...we're ready.'' Marybella smiles widely again.

 

I smiled back, finally.

 

 

"Great, when do we meet them? The little one" I said.

 

"This weekend, the agency said we are all set with the papers. So I get to see and take home my first ever child soon." Marybella said.

 

''That's amazing, how lucky of you.'' I replied.

 

 

She looks away, her smile finally lifted up to her eyes.

 

I could tell by the rise of her rosy cheeks she was happy about this.

 

And this news was just perfect to get me out of my bad state.

 

 

"But you need to be rest, it's been day-" she says.

 

"And a half." I finish.

 

"A day and a half, and you still look tired from

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