I Dare You - Jessica Pham (ebook audio reader txt) 📗

read?” I asked, holding my shirt up, and pretending I have a microchip thingymabobber that the spies use. “You know, I’m right here… right? And what kind of code-name is Big Ape?” Mike asked. “One that suits you..” I muttered.
“I heard that!” he sighed, “Yes, I hear you. Over.”
“I think the coast is clear!” I said in a not so quiet whisper. I looked over my shoulder again, and didn’t see our kidnappers, and I ran off the highway, and into the trees right next to the highways.
Mike and I once again, ran as fast as our little legs can carry us. I looked behind me, and I could see faint outlines of our pursuers. “They just won’t give up!” I muttered. I was leading the way, and I zigzagged, made lefts and rights and all that crap. I turned back around and I couldn’t see anything behind us. I tripped and fell on the ground. “Well I guess we’ll stop here.” I said. Mike plopped on the ground right next to me. We both sat there, trying to catch our breaths, when I saw a shadow in front of me. “Flying Penguin to Big Ape, I think we got company.” I whispered into my imaginary microchip.
Gosh. How come all of a sudden, we’re being stalked by some fart-faced, psychopaths? I mean, I know I’m lovable and all, but this is taking it too far.
Mike and I both scrambled to our feet and turned around to face the oncoming stalker. He was taking his time, so I grabbed Mike’s hand and tried to run away.
And then I ran, but I didn’t get far. Because there were people coming out of nowhere. I think I just saw one come out of a bush.. what the heck?
But anyway, we soon found ourselves being surrounded by both men and women. I coughed and made a fanning motion with my hands, “Wooah! Someone needs a shower!” Like, really. They were standing 20ft away from me and I could still smell the smelliness. They all closed up on us and I looked around for something, anything to help us get out of there. I didn’t see anything but rocks on the ground. “Fudge crackers!” I yelled, then I bent over and grabbed the tiny rocks and started chucking them at them.
It didn’t seem to work, because I have terrible aim, and whenever I actually hit them, they just blinked kept inching towards us. Mike was charging at them and trying to tackle them. It didn’t work either, and he’s on the football team too. I gave up trying to throw rocks and said, “Flying penguin, away!” I made a fist and pointed it upwards. I didn’t shoot into the sky or anything. That pissed me off. Stupid movies. They put fake images in your minds.
I looked around us, and I spotted a familiar face, Nick.
Now the stinky people were about 9ft away from us, Nick being one of them.
My breaths came out ragged, and I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. Mike and I were back to back, man. I wish we had guns right now; we could be the dynamic duo. Like in the movies, when the two good guys are back to back and they have guns in their hands and are shooting like maniacs.
“Mike! What should we do?!” I yelled, panicking. “Arrrg!” he yelled as he rammed into another stinky person. The person didn’t even fall back; he looked down at Mike and grabbed his shoulders. He bought Mike up into the air and Mike was kicking his feet. Stinky Guy looked like he was concentrating really hard on something. I looked at Mike and he was turning into a frightening shade of gray. While Stinky Guy looked somewhat normal. Before, he looked like a rotten corpse green, skin peeled, and his hair was coming out in clumps. His teeth were all jacked up, and I could see bone sticking out underneath his skin. I shivered and vomited in my mouth a little.
Mikes eyes rolled up into his head, and I shrieked and ran over to him and Stinky Guy. He looked up as I reached them, and his eyes looked gross! They were the color of decaying crap, and so were his teeth. I thrust my hand out and pushed Stinky Guy. I shivered as he dropped Mike and flew to the nearest tree. Did I just do that? I mean, I pushed him hard enough to let go of Mike, but certainly not hard enough to make him fly! Dude, I wish I could fly… “It’s not nice to grab others.” I scolded Stinky Guy. Mike was sitting up and rubbing his eyes, “Woa man, I just had the weirdest dream.”
“It wasn’t a dream!” I sang. His eyes flew open and he looked around us. Now there was a tight circle around us. All the zombies were staring intently at us. “Woah! Bubble space much?! You just popped my bubble! Blow me another one, now!” I yelled. I got up, dusted my butt quickly, and pushed as hard as I could, at the zombies. The ones that I pushed flew and hit some trees. Mike and I ran, AGAIN.
“Momma Mia! How long will we have to run?!” I complained. Mike glanced back behind him and couldn’t see anything following us, so he stopped and leaned against a tree. He leaned his head back and breathed in and out. I, on the other hand, wasn’t even out of breath. To be honest, I only wanted to stop so we could talk and do some other stuff… if you know what I mean. I slowly crept to him and when I was close enough, I jumped on him, wrapped my legs around his waist, and smashed my lips onto his. He was caught by surprise, thanks to my awesome ninja skills. But he soon started kissing me back, he grabbed the back of my throat with one hand and pulled me closer to him and with his other hand, he grabbed my bottom to keep me from falling butt- first to the ground. I pressed up harder against him. We pulled back and stared into each other’s eyes. “Intense moment ruined!” I screamed as I hopped off. I attempted to climb up a tree, but you know, a ninja has her limits. But I tried anyway, I stood at the bottom of the tree, and looked up. I gripped onto the bark of the tree with my hands, and sorta did a hop- dance. I put one foot on the bark, and tried to get the other one onto the tree. But whenever I do, the other foot slips down and I end up falling forwards, face- first on the tree. I groaned and rubbed my face. Mike stood there, watching me with amused eyes. “What chu lookin’ at, SON?” I growled, which caused him to crack up. I gave him the evil eye and turned around so my back was facing him. “Awwh! Babe, don’t be like that.” He said, coming over and wrapped me in his arms. I my eyes started to droop and I fell asleep.
Mike and I woke up, and started running, because we didn't want the stinky people to catch up to us.
By the time I was gasping for breath, I stopped and bent over and put my hands on my knees. My chest was heaving up and down with every breath. Once my breathing became somewhat normal, I stretched in a very awkward way. I looked like a hooker humping the air. Both my hands were on my back and pushing foreword, causing my breasts to pop out. Like I sad, a very awkward position.
“Damn! I’ve runnin’ a lot lately! I think I’m developing leg muscles!” I said disgustingly. “I don’t want muscles! Muscles make girls look manly!” I yelled in horror. I slapped my thigh. Mike came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, “Babe, you’re still as hot as before. Maybe even hotter. And no, you don’t have anything back here.” He was referring to my leg muscles. Then all of a sudden he squeezed my thigh; I giggled.
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere. I’m still mad at you.” I said, crossing my arms and walking out of his arms. Is it just me, or did it get a LOT

colder? I just wanted to run back in his arms, but I was too stubborn. “Awww! Don’t be like that!” he whined.
Knowing Mike, whenever he whines, he’ll have his adorable puppy dog face on and it always works! Pisses me off. I shall not give up. I shall not give up…

He moved until he was right in front of me; I turned away quickly. We did this for about five minutes when I got tired of it and just closed my eyes tightly and my mouth in a straight line. All of a sudden, I felt something soft on my lips. He was kissing me! I shall not give up…

he smirked against my mouth and he grabbed my thigh. That ain’t fair! He knows that’s my weak spot! I gasped and he stuck his tongue in my mouth. The fuck man!?
I pushed him away and said, “Taking advantage of innocent girls, are we?”
Mike scoffed, “Since when were you

ever innocent?”
I nodded. “You’re right.. hell, I wasn’t even innocent sitting in my mom’s belly!”
I pursed my lips, “We should probably find our home now.” Mike nodded and grabbed my hand. Our fingers intertwined and I looked up at him. He looked down at me and leaned down for a kiss.
My foot got caught on a root and I tripped. Cliché moment ruined.

“Ugh! I always seem to ruin cheesy romantic moments!” I complained. Mike chuckled. “I wonder why it’s always food.” He wondered. “What?”
“I wonder why they say ‘that’s so corny’ or ‘that was cheesy.’” He rephrased.
“I don’t know…” I said.
“Anyway! I think I hear a car up there in front of us.” I changed the subject.
“Thank god!” Mike yelled happily. He hopped over roots and fallen trees excitedly. He looked so adorable! I smiled and jumped over logs, following him.
We chatted while we walked, and soon we reached the highway. But there was one problem. We didn’t know where we were and we needed a car.
“Do you wanna hitchhike?” Mike asked.
“Er, sure.” I said. We stood on the side of the road and stuck our thumbs up. We waited, and waited. No one seemed nice enough to give us a ride. I sat down with my thumb up, while Mike was still standing, peering left and right for any cars. I started playing with the gravel on the ground. This is so boring!

“Erg!!” I yelled in frustration. I stomped my way to the middle of the road and stopped there with my right arm outstretched.
“What are you doing?!” Mike yelled. “Trying to get us a ride!” I yelled back.
“No!” he tried to tackle me to the ground as a car whizzed past us, somehow missing the both of us by inches.
“You’re an idiot, you know that?” he said, looking down at me. “Yes, yes I do. Can you get off of me? I’d rather live for another few decades.” I asked. “Oh, right!” he scrambled off me.
I laughed and pushed myself off the ground. I ran to the middle of the road as a car was racing down the road, like the rebel I was. “KAYLA!” Mike yelled. I think I might give him a heart attack one day. I chuckled at that thought. The driver hit the brakes and you could hear