Unspoken Attractions by Failia Baighaan (read after txt) 📗

19- Stop

Zain was teaching Hoorain, stealing glances with her from time to time, thinking about Anaya’s words constantly but it was extremely difficult as he didn’t know what his desires were in the first place. 

Was it embrace or liberation?

He was stuck in a dilemma and decided to give both of them some time before reaching a final decision.

Was being hers his own choice or merely a duty? 

He doesn’t know. 

“Hoorain.” He called her. She was engrossed in her work and hummed in response.

“Yes?” Her voice, soft like a breeze as usual, came. 

“Sir Kasim told me about your internship offer…” He trailed off, bringing the topic which made her disquiet.

Looking up quickly, her dismay became visible and Zain thought it was because of him,

“What about it?” She asked nervously, tightening her grip on the book.

“You don’t want to? Why?” He asked softly, not making a mistake like before.

“I.. I..” She paused, not knowing what to say and he believed she was avoiding her and lowered his tone, tenderly.

“Hoorain, it’s a great opportunity. I also work there. Sorry I didn’t tell you before but I am there too… or is it that you don’t want to work with me?” He finally asked the doubt which arised by her declination.

“No! That’s not it.” She reasoned quickly, shaking her head.

Averting her gaze, she nibbled her lips, replying innocently, hurriedly, “I mean, Yeah, I don’t want to bother you too.” 

“Why do you think you would bother me?” He asked, leaning forward, a gentle eye contact was trying to build but Hoorain’s tentative emotions refrained it.

“Look at me.” He whispered, gesturing to her. Her heart began to race as she turned her face to his with an adorable blush adorning her features.

“Why do you think your presence would bother me?” He asked again, realizing he was screwed by his hasty actions of fury before and now he has induced a fright in her heart.

“I.. don’t know. I just think that my presence bothers you. Whatever I try to do displeases you, I just don’t want anything.” She  blurted out, the strain on her face clearly showed she was cautious about her actions.

“Displeases me?” He asked, confusion taking over as he tilted his head.

“Yeah, everything I have done till now is the opposite of what you wanted, the party, our engagement, this tuition.. All of it-” She was about to burst her frustration but Zain cut her off sternly.

“Why are you involving our engagement in this matter?” He was not the person who will stay in the past, it has passed, let it bygone.

“Because none of it was your choice!” She argued, voice stumbling in desperation. She has never felt this powerless before emotions but for him, she was ready to sacrifice it all.

“So was yours. Would you ever want us to be like this?” He asked huskily, unintentionally moving dangerously closer to her face.

Biting her lips she looked down but he moved his hand across and resting it on the armrest, restricting her to look away. 

“Don’t look away. Answer me.” He hissed, unable to comprehend what caused her to create distances when they are profoundly bounded.

Looking up slowly at him, she shook her head in denial, whispering, “No.” 

His shoulders relaxed, coming back to his composure.

“Then why do you say this? Apart from that party incident, was what happened with your consent? You didn’t want this either, you knew nothing about tuition also.” He explained.

“Then what did you do?” His low murmur came, creating an intensity which caused Hoorain to curl her toes, wrapping her arms around her waist.

“But that all started at the party, it was my fault. Only if I had-” Her voice croaked, hopeless before his strictness. 

“Do you regret it?” He asked, holding her arm. 

Her breaths halted the moment they made contact with his firm grip, linking her gaze with his deep oceans etching a beat she cannot fathom

“I..” She didn’t know what to say as he invaded her vicinity.

“Do you regret it, Hoorain?” He asked assertively, desperately praying his in his head unknowingly to say ‘No’ but-

“Yes.” She blurted out with a tear pricking in her eyes.

“I ruined anything which could exist between us, I ruined everything by my stupidity.” She whispered, trying to preclude their eye contact but he didn’t let her.

“What did you ruin?” He asked but she looked away and got up to leave but he held her wrist, pulling her back.

“Hoorain.” Calling dominantly, he turned her to him, lifting her chin, asking in a bare whisper.

“Do you think I hate you?” 

Her heart skipped a beat, dried lips parting to reply, refusing to believe any false hope of a beautiful dream but the connection his eyes provided by the warmth, gave her the response.

“No.” She replied in the same tone, slowly bringing her hand close to his chest, very slowly.

His eyes traveled down when her palm pressed against his chest, his heart picked paced abnormally under her touch, moving to her eyes and then back to her hand and stopped at her eyes.

She gulped, tears brimming in her eyes, asking in a croaked voice, “Why don’t you hate me? I am in your life against your will. You never wanted this.. And yet?” 

Her head tilted in confusion, releasing a tear while he wiped his thumb, “Let me tell you a secret, Hoorain.” He paused, leaning down to her ears, speaking which left her stunned beyond comprehension,

“If I didn’t want this, nothing in this world could have stopped me.” 

Her eyes widened in disbelief, she could feel light-headed, considering it to be a delusion, only a fantasy of her mind. 

She shivered when his breath evoked a shiver from her and she asked, “Then why do you neglect me?” 

“Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t love you, Hoorain but you are my choice. Someone I would rather prefer to be with.” He told her half-truth, or perhaps, half portion of his perspective.

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