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Inquiring Him

15

Lana’s POV

I kept myself still on the chair when my mind seemed to be lost in the new addition of vibe around me, I felt a thing for a man who was twice my age and weight and it took me a while to calm down a war within me debating about my feelings and the reality. Nothing scared me more than a thought of him wandering around me all the time and deepening my weak feelings for him gradually

“Kitten?” a deep voice shook me from my lullaby.

My mind prayed to be called by godly bodyguard Nicolas but here my hapless luck stepped in; which gifted me an errant master to handle. “My Kitten, where are you lost?” he asked me starry-eyed

“Na-nothing, I was just… uhmm… sad… that you’re go-going,” I halted to form a perfect excuse where I came up with the most stupid and impractical one in front of the hot sac… I mean my bodyguard

Armando smirked, “baby if you want me to stay you just have to say it and I won’t dare to step out,” he whispered to me the dreadful plan softly on which I shook my head inwardly, “Um-no… no… there’s no need for it. I assume you’ve other important things to take care of. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You should focus on primal,” I blurted out my opinion in haste and tension; giving him an opportunity to doubt me

“Nothing is consequential than you and *pointing my stomach with dark eyes* our aboard baby,” he came down to my range and released a peck on my earlobe before saying our baby. This time his gesture didn’t send any butterflies to my stomach but an unknown churning in stomach. I had an urge to keep myself away from uncensored moments insight of my new macho minder, “Y-you might be getting l-late” I asserted to Armando with a babyish-expression,

“Can’t lie but I don’t know how to be away from you even for a minute, Mi Amor,” Armando mumbled while his force picked me up in his wrapped arms; leaving me in the air with a tight hug and seizing my every air-supply by exerting excessive might. He tried to justify his action by saying sweet nothings but I see it’s nothing than a tissue of lies. At the present moment, as much as I hated to give a false impact of me to my personal bodyguard, I mean he will be with me all the time and I can’t see him staring at me with lecherous eyes. I wanted to frame my sober impression in his eyes so he won’t take me as a whore or someone’s bedwarmer, this is not what I’m, I supposed he didn’t take a wrong meaning of our public affection - I’m not his mistress nor his lover,

no, not at all!

I’m ambivalent about him and he forced me for it. How come can I love a man who raped me? and how come I also hate a man who is my first? I’m just in denial and also pregnant, my feelings towards him are tangled. I don’t know where will I go in this condition so that is why I’m giving us some time - It won’t work but still. Once I give birth to my child, I won’t say here at any cost so that means there’s nothing serious about us,

“Ah- I can’t breathe..” I struggled to convey him in anguish but he denied to leave me as his excuse of departing was justifiable his actions in his eyes, “Ma-master, it’s enough… not good for the baby” I said with struggled breaths and convyed the truth, because of his vile act it was causing pressure on us (The mother and baby) and this could even lead to miscarriage. When he realized my words he quickly released me in less than no time where I took a relaxing deep breath and normalized my racing heart,

“Since when did you start calling me master?” he inquired with a hard face, forehead all defining the absurdity in him. I thought he freed me up because of my condition but I shouldn’t have forgotten that this man has no soft-corners in his emotions, what he cared was me calling him master.

I deep down prepared myself mentally for an unasked argument but I regrettably signed up for that myself. I gulped and counter-questioned idiotically, “Did I say that?” that was the least I could think of, I honestly couldn’t think before I said, I had no time to otherwise he would’ve taken it as a serious objection. 

Now, I could sense that I’m in the mouth of fire because I can observe Armando reading my mind while giving me a craggy face

My subconscious Kardashian slapped my face right there in my mind, I was feeling irrational and this needs to stop here, just because I saw an intimidating man doesn’t mean I should forget that I’m trapped in a cage of a mafia leader. 

I immediately worked on my stance and did my best to be reasonable in front of Armando. He stepped closer to me leaving all spaces occupied between us and making me blush hard, right away my eyes turned to catch a glimpse of Nicolas as if he was aware of our private moment but thankfully his eyes were continuously lowered and his head bowed.

“If you want to give me a name then my Mi Alma is recommendable baby girl,” he whispered under my breath and I inwardly sighed loudly. Thank mighty he didn’t take it as his ego problem or he would’ve created an unwanted scene which I don’t want at any cost. But a mafia leader with so much brain can’t leave a clue like this, he must be aware of my alarming behavior.

My mind instantly tried to calculate his power and authority, a shock of terror ran down to my spine on the realization that many enormous brawny minders work for this man, he has power to rule them. A sudden thought found inside me that this is the same particular man who tries his best to persuade me to acknowledge his love. My heart started to advocate him against the reality and that feeling increased within me - proclaiming me that I’m wanted by the powerful bad guy who’s trying to only be good for his girl.

I inwardly got a little excited but

As the moment went by, my heart that wanted to feel the feeling of being a girl of the most feared mobster vanished away with a snap of a finger. All passional walls demolished right away when my body reacted to the fact that he’s my rapist and I can’t ever change this. And to mark this wound forever; an appallingly beautiful human will be a part of my journey who will definitely be a reminder of that unforgettable night. I don’t know whether I should love it or hate it. Even if I ever plan to hate it, how will I convince my conscience to be dead enough to handover the part of me to the rapist so he could manipulate him well?

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