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Chapter 1



Alex sighed when he woke up. He was lying in bed in his house in Hamburg. It was mid-morning, quite late really, but today was a rest day and quite frankly he felt he deserved a bit of a lie-in. His girlfriend Emma was up already, he could hear her playing downstairs with his two year-old son Max. Any other day he would have jumped out of bed to join in and spend time with them. But not today.

The defeat the day before was too much to take. 4-0 he had lost with his football club against their biggest city rival. He had almost broken down on the pitch he had felt that sick and desperate. He had seen his pitiful self in the news that evening and had felt nothing but disgust for what his career had come to.

He loved Hamburg. It was his home town, his home club was here. But he couldn't keep losing like this. With such poor performance there was a chance he wasn’t going to be selected for the national team anymore and therefore not play at the World Cup in the summer. ‘I should have just moved on when Tommy left.' He closed his eyes as he remembered the day before.

When he had checked his phone after the match he’d had a voicemail from Tom. 'Alex, are you okay? I saw the end of the match. I thought you were going to collapse for a minute. Call me, please. I just want to know you are alright.' Alex smiled thinking of the message. Tom really was his best friend. Still, after all those years. He couldn't quite describe it but he has always been special to him. They used to play in the same club and became really close. 'This is pathetic.' Alex cursed but he missed Tom, there was no point in denying it. Yet he wasn't going to be able to see him for another few months until the national team would meet again, for which both boys still played together.

When Alex had called him back, Tom had had to leave a bar in Dortmund celebrating a victory with his current team to even hear him. 'Alex! Bloody hell, are you okay? I was worried about you.' 'As usual.' Alex had laughed quietly. 'Yeah well, no, more than usual actually. I thought you were going to collapse or something.' Alex had put on a brave voice. 'Oh come on, I'm used to this shit.' He had forced a laugh. Tom hadn't found it funny. 'I'm sorry I can't be there for you. I wouldn't have let you get into such a state. You know that.' 'You're there for me now. Aren't you?' Alex had said. 'You know what I mean. It's not the same over the phone is it? Jesus, Alex I just want to see you smile again.' Alex had bitten his lip. 'You need to go back inside and celebrate Tommy,’ he had said clearing his voice, 'I'll be okay. I always am.' 'Are you sure? Alright. Take care of yourself, do you hear me? I'm always here for you, remember that.' 'Bye Tommy.' Alex had hung up way too quickly but he couldn't bear listening to his voice anymore.

Alex forced himself to sit up in bed and ran his hands over his face. 'Pathetic.' He got up, slowly put on his dressing gown and opened the bedroom door. He looked over the landing down into his living room where Max was playing noisily with his toys. 'Daddy, daddy!' His little face beamed up at Alex and he couldn't help but smile and feel better straight away. 'Yeah, alright, alright, daddy is coming down now.' Alex went downstairs and grabbed and cuddled his son. 'Morning grumpy,' his girlfriend Emma smiled at him and bent down to give him a kiss, 'did Tommy get hold of you in the end?' She asked in passing. Alex looked at her confused. 'Tommy?' 'Yes. You know your best friend. Remember him?', she laughed, 'he called here twice yesterday and said he couldn't get hold off you on your mobile. He almost had me worried too!' 'Oh,' Alex said trying to hide a sad smile, 'yes I called him back.' 'Typical Tommy.' He thought.

He turned the television on and threw himself onto the couch gazing outside the window. It was a cold and rainy November day. Max was playing on the floor in front of him. Emma walked over and sat next to Alex. 'I know you are down about it all. What do you fancy doing today?' She snuggled up to him. 'Actually, nothing', he stroked her leg, 'please don't be cross but I just want to slouch and feel sorry for myself'. He stared back at the television. 'Of course. Great,' Alex didn't pay any attention, 'can you at least keep an eye on Max please?' 'Yeah sure.' He mumbled. In the old days, he would have jumped into the car and driven to see Tom. They would have played Xbox games and kicked a football round all afternoon.

As Emma was in Max's room tidying up, the doorbell rang. Alex moaned. 'I'm not here!', he shouted towards Emma. She came out of Max's room and walked towards him. The doorbell rang again, 'not here.' Alex looked at her seriously. 'Come on Max,' Emma walked towards their son, 'come and see who is at the door with mummy.' She gently took Max's hand and they slowly walked down the stairs. 'Probably some of Emma's girlfriends, that's the last thing I need.' Alex thought, still in a mood.

Emma picked up her son and held him on her arm as she reached the door. She opened and couldn't believe her eyes. Tom was standing there, casually leaning against the door frame and smiling at them both. Before Emma could exclaim her surprise and excitement, Tom put one finger on his lips to signal for her to keep this quiet. He grinned mischievously and stroked Max's cheek with his finger. 'Oh my God,' Emma said in a quiet whisper, 'now that really is a surprise!' She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 'Is he in?' Tom asked looking up towards their living room windows. Emma nodded and set Max down. She waved Tom in and he quietly stepped through the front door. Max had half crawled and half run back upstairs into the lounge before she could grab him. He reached Alex still sitting on the sofa.

'Uncle Tommy!' Max exclaimed, jumping up and down in front of his dad. Emma and Tom quickly and quietly ran upstairs, stopping short at the door to the living room. Alex had his back to the door and looked at Max in surprise. 'What?' He asked still distracted by the television. 'Uncle Tommy, Uncle Tommy!' Max kept jumping in front of Alex. He grabbed him and let him stand on his lap. 'Now what's all this about? Hmm? Is this because he called you and mummy yesterday?,’ he looked at his son and kissed him on the cheek, 'Uncle Tommy is in Dortmund baby,' he sighed, 'that's far away,' he tried to get his attention but Max wouldn't calm down as over Alex’s shoulder he could also see Tom standing in the door now, 'yeah. I miss him too.’ Alex said quietly.

He finally put Max down, who ran towards Emma and Tom standing in the doorway grinning. 'Who was at the door anyway?', Alex asked as his eyes followed Max's little feet running towards his mum and Tom. His mouth opened as he saw his friend beaming at him in the doorway. He jumped up but was frozen on the spot. 'Tommy?', he asked in disbelief, 'no way man!', he shouted and grinned as he finally managed to move. He ran towards his friend. Tom laughed opening his arms wide as Alex reached him and fell into them, 'what are you doing here?' He mumbled into Tom's shoulder. 'Oh I just fancied a drive north.' Tom laughed as he let go off Alex to look at his face.

'Come on Max. Let's give daddy some time with Uncle Tommy alone.' Emma smiled at Tom as she took Max's hand and led him into his room. Alex hadn't felt so happy in a long time. 'So?', he asked Tom grinning, 'what are you doing here?' 'Someone had to check on you, don't you think?' Alex shrugged his shoulders and smiled in disbelief. 'You drove all the way from Dortmund to Hamburg for me? Just for me. Just like that.' Tom hugged him again. 'I told you. I needed to know you are okay,' he said holding him, 'I wanted to see you. Big deal. You're my friend,' Alex squeezed Tom hard and the boys were stood in silence in their embrace in the middle of the lounge, 'Alex, are you going to offer me a drink or what?' Alex broke free from Tom's arms and chuckled. 'Demanding!' He joked.

Tom sat down on the sofa while Alex went into the kitchen. 'What are you watching? And you're not even dressed yet!' He observed mocking his friend as he came back into the lounge with a couple of bottles of beer. He gave one to Tom and let himself drop next to him onto the sofa. 'Yeah I know. Not a good day today.' Alex stared at the television taking a sip. Tom grabbed the control and switched it off. 'See, this is why I'm here,' he beamed, pleased with himself, 'to distract you from this misery!', Alex smiled at him, 'get dressed. We're going for a walk.' Tom insisted. 'How long can you stay?' Alex asked quietly. 'If I leave early tomorrow morning I'll be at training in time.' Tom took a sip from the bottle. Alex still couldn't believe he was here. 'It is so good to see you.' He said in almost a whisper as he gazed at him. Tom smiled at Alex with gentle eyes. He put one arm around his shoulder. 'You too.'

Emma came out of Max's room with him fully dressed and a bag over her shoulder. Tom got up and grabbed Max. He threw him up in the air and the child chuckled with excitement. 'God you've grown!' Tom exclaimed as he held him high up over his head. Alex enjoyed watching Tom entertaining his son. He took another sip from the bottle as Emma sat down next to him. 'I think you two need to catch up properly without us,' she said, 'I'll go and see my mum.' Alex looked at her gratefully and kissed her briefly. 'Thank you.' She got up and picked up her son. 'I hope you can stay overnight?', she asked Tom. He nodded and tickled Max's cheek on her arm, 'I'll see you later then.'

As the boys heard the door shut downstairs they were silently looking at each other. 'Are you going to get dressed or what?' Tom laughed. Alex jumped up and ran upstairs, he put on some jeans and a jumper. He grabbed some trainers and as he came back downstairs he looked at Tom, who had made himself comfortable on the sofa lying down on his back. His arms were crossed behind his neck as he looked up towards his friend. Alex studied his body and couldn't take his eyes off him at this very moment. 'Don't tell me I have gained weight.' Tom giggled as he saw Alex stare at him. Alex forced himself to laugh and tried to make some joke as he was overcoming his embarrassment.

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