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We were passing from a huge hall towards another hall, throughout the way the floors were garnished with rose petals and the scent was addictive. Roses are my favourites, I would’ve loved it if the situation had been different.

I turned my face to catch a glance behind my back and I saw my parents following us as a couple holding each other. They looked lovely together but the heart was not accepting it to take positively. 

I lowered my eyes as looking ahead to the altar would only bring up fresh tears in my eyes and I didn’t wish that so I tried to avoid everything which could trigger me.

I stepped up on the stage with heartache, a tear fell from my eyes as I thought I would’ve been a bride of the love of my life but ending up here was something I never wanted to dream of. 

I stood opposite of Armando and glazed his face which was covered in a smile, a smile for my death day.

“We shall start,” the priest said and started the ceremony. 

He asked Armando to repeat after him, “I, Armando De Luca, take you, Lana Rose Bellen, to be my lawfully wedded wife. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you, protect you from evil and bad and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all of your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with all of my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life and I would take this very opportunity to say I love you and will always keep loving you till you breathe last of your breaths.” 

Now it was my turn to repeat the vows after the priest.

The priest turned to me and asked me to repeat after him, “I, Lana Rose Bellen, choose you, A-Armando De Luca, to be my… husband. I… take this opportunity to promise you to respect you in your s-successes and in your failures, to c-care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to value you as long as we both shall live,” my inner self cried as I mouthed off these words for my rapist, I wanted to run away from him and this situation but I can’t, I can’t be selfish enough to kill my family. I just can’t. 

“I now announce you both as Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride,” the priest announced me as his wife and I gaped at him with a defeated look but eyes watered up and one tear fallen down but he wiped it off with his harsh thumb

He came closer to me and claimed my shivery lips with his hungry ones, as his lips touched mine I felt every single misery he inflicted on me, 

This kiss was not a festive kiss, It was a trailer of my hellish future. His forceful lips weren’t lovable but it was clearly telling me I will always be his possession instead of a partner that he just now fake-promised. 

I’m now married to my rapist, 

To a Mafia leader. 

And most of all I’m now Mrs Armando Fucking De Luca.

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