The Space Noir Bar - Michael Marino (best classic books TXT) 📗

Ruby Red Pumps in Dorothy’s possession, possession being 9/10ths of the law and nt the kind that required an exorcism. The Tin Man Steely Dan Dildo got  afresh load of lubrication, (batteries not included..he was a solar self charging unit, environmentally and vaginally friendly!) The Scarecrow Schizoid was given a  supply of meds for not only him, but all those others locked up inside his chaotic psychotic imagination. As for the Queen of the Forest, the Wizard gave a free sex change at the Kaitlyn Jenner Clinic and a contract for a gig as a drag queen at the Peonie and Pansy Nightclub, the hot spot for female lionesse impersonators, in the nearby town of Long Wang on Suc Muc Dik Avenue on the Penis Peninsula. As for Dorothy?

She was granted asylum in a space asylum on Lunatic Luna and got to keep one of the Flying Monkey Electro Dildos. In the opium field in a haze she admitted later in a Spacegirl magazine interview, “I had made it with the Tin Man Dildo all night long, both of us stoned to the bone and I must say, he was cocked and locked and loaded. A flying Money is fine for beginners but once you’ve had a Tin Man you never go back!”

So she said her goodbyes before hitting the highway..”I love you strawman, stay on your meds or you’ll end up with hypodermic needles of fully loaded tranqs in you, and if they lose one, well they’ll have to tear you apart as it’s hard to find a hypodermic needle in a haystack!” To Lionesse now going by the name of Roar Paul, “I know you will look even better with boobs than I do! So knock ‘em dead Babe!” and as she boarded the bus she remembered her night of erotic pleasure with the tin man dildo...she smile and said, “I’ll miss you MOIST of all!”

At this point Asrini came downstairs looking for me. Her bags were packed. “What’s going on? What’s happening?” She cried out. “Nothing babe. Just trying to help out the local cops with a case.” ThenI turned to the Captain. “I’ll work on it when I get back from Robita. Got a case I’m on the trail off right now..should wrap it up in a couple of days and will get in touch with you then.’

We shook hands and Asrini and I walked back to my room to get my bag and load up the Nicto and head for Robotia. “What was that all about,” she asked in her best little girl voice with matching look of innocence on her face. “You don’t want to know” I said. As she ascending the stairs I noticed for the first time..she was wearing a new pair of shoes..a pair of ruby red pumps...I shook my head...I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to get to Robotia and get lucky with a bot with a body built like a brick asteroid or an Indonesian in ruby reds...or which ever came first.

 

 

 

Chapter Ten - Space Dwarfs and 50 Foot Women

I estimated our ETA to Robotia would take one galactic day, not counting the 24 hour security quarantine time we’d have to endure at the gateway asteroid Toho 4, the Ellis island of Robotia. Before anyone was allowed to dock at the Robotia port you had to clear customs at the mechanical hands of Toho’s crack robotic security team. Papers checked and rechecked, weapons checked and rechecked and a damned valid reason for visit also check and rechecked and verified.

 

 If you weren’t there for drugs and eroti-bot sex ...why go?...Toho 4 wasn’t an unpleasant experience by any stretch of the penile implant. It was a pleasure palace planet of it’s own, more of a small mini-orb in reality..and the best part ...the sex was with flesh and blood humans or reasonable alien facsimilies that may have a few quirks in their make up.

 

The area was broken down into neighborhoods...since most Retropolins are bisexual anyway Asrini and I headed for a taste of the same sexual desert. Ok, I admit it, along with many others in my camp who like to camp it up with a good romp under the covers and who had space-aged wet dreams over a giant female.

Lets face it a 50 foot woman with ten feet of solid protruding flesh breasts are a sex dream come true for the natural breast feeding nippple sucking instincts that we keep hidden under the covers of pre-maturity mandatory masturbation. A 50 foot woman has to have a hungry voracious vagina with a three foot opening surrounded by a lumber jungle of pubic hair so thick you could build a raft of them and sail inside her "tunnel of love" to explore the orgasmic river of no return that will take you deep inside her magic kingdom of orgasm as a full grown human dildo on a journey to the center of her moist sexual earth.

 

 I've looked for them in the carnival atmosphere of a purely carnal context, but, there are "real" female giants. They don't all need basketballs in hand to whet our sexual fantasies. Forget the basketballs and volleyballs, they can grab a hold of our own balls in a firm grip in their capable hands, and for most of us that would do nicely. More than nicely. These "giantesses" as they are referred to are viewed as not just large tall voluptuous women. 

 

In simplistic terms and allowing the appreciative male perspective of the long and the short of it to creep into this piece, we love Retropolin and alien breasts of all stripes. They excite the male of the species better than a ribbed condom on a virgin, and these very same, fine, firm breasts are also responsible for pushing the Retro lesbian envelope through the sound barrier with a gravity defying G-Force for the internal G-Spot as well. Some of the male species like small breasts on a woman and a boyish body much as Hemingway did, but, for the most part...Give Me A 50 Foot Woman..or Give Me Death! Where the hell is Rick Moranis and what is this anyway, "Hey, Honey, I Shrunk My Husband and The Kids!"

 

There is a euphemism in here somewhere for Jack and his Beanstalk. How Freudian is that. While Jack was whacking off his beanstalk he dreamed of a giant and a goose! In a midget version of Chinatown on Toho 4 you can imagine traveling in another dimension, a dimension of sight, sound and imagination....imagine if you will a person who can stand up and give a blowjob without having to resort to knee pads? Is this the Rod Serling opening for a sex filled journey into the libidinous Twilight Zone? Wrong! Besides a stand up blowjob? No such thing...I don't believe it...it's impossible you say? Don't bet on it. The sexual yang to sex with a giant yin  is located at the cross hairs of the the sexual crossroads where Twilight Zone Boulevard and the Yellow Brick Road meet in a fornication of fetish and fantasy.

 

This is the psycho-sexual universe where a person of standard vertical stature can get his or her rocks off by making it with a female Neptunian dwarf.  This lustful dwelling on dwarves is highlighted in two old Earth films. The Wizard of Oz of course with it's plethora of hot bod Munchkin babes with rotund behinds ready to be mounted by man or woman, and the ultimate subliminal  film....Gulliver’s Travels where the kingdom of the Lilliputians entice, engross and eventually enslave him. The are small fry by any standard and on a sliding scale his penis must be the relative size of a giant redwood on old California's northern coast!

 

Toss in some Venusian fairies and Martian leprecaun’s and goddamned if Tinkerbell ain't hot to trot and a couple of doses of her fairy dust will have the same effect as a full load of Soma! So don't be surprised if that stranger next to you on the street on Toho 4 is looking high and low for more than a pot of gold. No Siree...he's after something better than gold and rainbows and four leaf clovers. He wants to get down and dirty with a leprecaun or a the very least a fairy.

 

Never mind Gulliver, who was too gullible to have survived one hour in bed with the notorious  Neptunian midget known as the flesh and blood R2D2! She has midget pussy power with a G-Spot G-Force of Mach 10. On bottom or top she can be  the Top Gun.. It's a small world indeed....and lets face it...less can be more!

 

We video’d ahead and made reservations at the Toho Motel 666 spend the night and made dinner reservations at the adjoining Rick’s Cafe Retropolain where we would begin our search for Asrini’s sister, Mary Asteriod and the fabled Strip Tease Falcon...he who controls the Falcon controls all of Dystopia.

 

In the vacuum of space we spotted Toho 4 finally after a day’s journey. We docked and  checked in with Toho Security and handed over all our papers and answered anal probing questions. Full security checks on us would talek 24 hours so we checked in at the hotel and headed for the Cafe. I was at first unaware that the cafe cabaret t is owned by Asrini’s former lover. She recognizes the piano player, Spam, a three headed Hydra from the old days in the Red East, and asks Spam to play "that song" Spam feigns ignorance on which song it is, but Asrini "refreshes" his memory and he reluctantly launches into "Rocket Man" 

As the notes permeate the saloon, the song reaches the ears of Rick in the back room..he storms out face as red with anger as a giant red star in a dwarf nebula  and says, "I thought I told you never to play that song?" It is then, Rick notices Asrini and  sitting at a table. Old embers spark into flame, and Asrini’s passions from the past  ignite. I thought to myself this could mak for an awkward, yet interesting ménage a trois, non?

 

Later that night as they relived old times I was having drink after drink...a real Frank Sinatra 3 o'clock in the wee smalls moment with  drinks. Soma and a cigarette… By 4 in the morning Asrini and I left for our rooms and she kissed him goodnight.

As we walked away I swear I hear him mutter under his drunken breath…”Of all the Soma bars and sex clubs in the galaxy...why did she have to rocket into mine?"

 

Chapter Eleven - The Hot Spy Lights Yucatans Fire