BLOODWORTH IV: Peter Strikes Back - Tai Goodman (read me a book .TXT) 📗

you feel every... last... second. The ripping and the tearing- It's got a little bit of a jingle to it. But that jingle will be the last thing you hear."  

The three scurried into the car with the technology in bags, and Peter cranked the engine. Every electronic appliance inside turned on, blinking with resplendent light. "Oh, where's my manners? Phoenix, this is Natasha. Ass-kicking machine." 

"Huh. Nice to meet you, but really quickly, how many Nazis have you killed?" 

"A fuckload."

"Oh ho ho! Well then, I think we'll get along nicely!"

The car shot off with the three in them, heading to Helena. "Phoenix, in case you don't know, let me fill you in: Fegelein took control after you killed Hitler-"

"Wait-"

"...Fegelein's planning-"

"Peter!"

"What?"

"I didn't kill him." 

Peter instantly parallel-parked between two cars. He slowly turned around to face Phoenix in the back seat. "What... What did you just say?" questioned Peter. Phoenix's mask displayed an image of Hitler and a grenade, and answered, "The pussy killed himself. That's how I got frozen, he pulled the pin to a grenade at the last second and I jumped into cover. Last thing I see, a glass pane traps me against a corner and the blast goes off. And I'm being frozen."

Peter didn't look Phoenix in the mask. "He... He didn't kill Hitler. That's surprising. I'm speechless, I don't know what to say. People have been looking up to him for murdering that asshole and he DIDN'T EVEN KILL HIM." Peter pulled out of the parking spot. Phoenix inched his head past the two front seats and said, "What? Something wrong?"

"Yeah, you're receiving bullshit for a man you didn't even fucking kill. People of the United States of America think YOU KILLED HITLER!" 

"Peter, shut up, it's over with. Go over your plan thingy." 

 

"Ungh... We're going to the Nazi palace to kill Fegelein. Fegelein said over TV that he's gonna kill the United States citizens that aren't protected with an EMP field that will deatomize people. Shred them to paste, and we gotta stop it NOW. But he said he'll do it only if terrorism occurs. So the plan is, don't cause shit until we get into the palace. Understand?"

"Gotcha."

"Yep."

"We only got one shot at this. Anybody presses that button, we're all seriously fucked. And we're gonna take the blame, and we're either gonna be shot, stabbed, lynched, or whatever shit the American people have in store for us. It's not gonna be pleasant either."

 

Chapter XX: The Death of Fegelein

 "Alright. We do this suave. Gotta keep that in mind, enhance the suave-y-ness... Alright. You got this." 

Phoenix punched the door open and the three headed inside. Peter looked around at the nearly empty lobby. "Phoenix, you remember where Hitler's office was? Guide us there before we get cratered by the fuckhead guards!"

Phoenix nodded, and crashed his entire body through a guard, splattering him across the stairs and onto Peter's clothing. "Damn, I smell like iron." Peter tagged along with Phoenix, and Natasha followed the two from behind. Peter pulled the slide back on his pistol, and the electronic indicator read, "9/10 BULLETS REMAINING." Guards noticed them going up the staircase. "HALLO! VHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHO ARE YOU?" 

Peter flipped him off and said, "Your momma, bitch!"

The guard sprinted with his rifle over to the spiral staircase, and suddenly watched Natasha slide down the rail with her butterfly-knife. And then SMACK! Natasha stabbed him in the face with her knife, and kicked him over the railing to break his neck from the fall. Peter continued to follow Phoenix, and watched guards surround the corpse on the first floor. "FUCK, PHOENIX, BOOK IT- NOW!" Peter screamed. Phoenix bolted upstairs to the floor of the office and stared both ways. "Umm... To the right, this way!" 

Phoenix popped his neck in place and then arrived at the office. Natasha had just arrived and screamed, "GUYS! WE'VE GOT COMPANY!" 

"Got a gun on you?" Peter screamed back.

"No!"

Peter tossed his pistol at Natasha, and she caught it with both hands. Two soldiers reached the floor, and Natasha shot both in the head, knocking them down the staircase. Phoenix kicked the door open and noticed Fegelein with Phoenix's cyberpistole. Fegelein grinned with a malicious face. "DIE, VERMIN!"

He shot the entire clip into Phoenix's body. "PHOENIX, NO!" Peter squealed. The holes in Phoenix's body started gushing blood into the clothes on the outside. And then he fell over. Fegelein dropped Phoenix's cyberpistole. Peter shook Phoenix's body back and forth repeatedly. "PHOENIX! PHOENIX? Come on DON'T BE DEAD! PLEASE!"

Then he heard some mechanical sounds. Peter laid his ear against Phoenix's chest. "Daw SHIT!" Peter flinched backwards out of the doorway, and the electrocution vest around Phoenix's chest electrocuted the area around him. Phoenix had been revived. "I'm back, MOTHERFUCKER." 

Fegelein opened the seal to the destructive button and laid his finger across the top. "STAY BACK, Masked Terror. As soon as ve had heard you somehow thawed out of your statue form, we knew you were coming. If any of you takes a step forwards, I'll mash the button and kill EVERYBODY." 

"You.. YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T YOU DARE PRESS THAT BUTTON!" 

"VHAT ARE YOU MAD AT, RED COATED ARSCHLOCH?"

 "MAD? I'M HERE TO KILL YOU!"

"Oh ho ho... Is that so? Alright. Masked Terror, leave me and Mr. Redcoat alone. Und Masked Terror, enter the room again, and the United States will be vaporized." 

Natasha walked back over to the room, covered in blood. "What'd I miss?"

"Hmm... I got an idea." Peter tapped her on the shoulder and held his hand out. "Can I see my pistol for just a second?" he questioned her. She nodded, handed him his pistol, and POW! Peter shot Fegelein in the head and killed him. Everybody stayed still for a few seconds. Nobody moved. 

"Wow. That was really easy. Alright, secure the room!"

 

Peter pulled up the headmaster's camera in the office, and broadcasted the office to the United States. "Attention, people of the United States. Fegelein is dead. And it's about time to tell you, no more Nazi bullshit. Phoenix, take it away."

Phoenix's eyebrows lowered. "What?"
"Say something."

"I thought you were speaking."

"Just get over here."

 

Phoenix stood in front of the camera.

 

“United States, listen up, cause we’re only gonna say this once. I am NOT a terrorist. I’m trying to help you guys. These men came into our country and messed it up, and you guys are gonna just gonna WHAT? Pucker up and kiss Nazi ass like it’s the only thing you can do? No. We’re gonna fight back. No more bullshit. So here’s what we’re gonna do. If you want things to be the way they were before, before all this chaos, because I can tell each of you are sick of the strict rules you’ve got now: Kill every Nazi and every accomplice you see. And if you don’t, I’m gonna press this button and kill you all. This country is a tune, and it must be sung together. Same goes for you, Hawaii, Alaska, Canada, and Mexico. Whatever’s left, fight back. Let’s do this.”

Natasha said, “Guys, we’ve got people coming!”

Peter pulled out his baseball bat and grinned. “Alright guys, let’s even the odds a little. FUCK THEM UP!”

 

BLOODWORTH IV: PETER STRIKES BACK

WRITTEN BY TAI GOODMAN

STAY TUNED FOR BLOODWORTH V!

 

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Publication Date: 04-08-2019

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