BLOODWORTH IV: Peter Strikes Back - Tai Goodman (read me a book .TXT) 📗

crazy guy was on the street offering free swordfighting lessons. I said, 'Why the hell not?' and walked over into his building. Apparently he wasn't lying, those lessons paid the hell off." 

Werner twisted the sword around repeatedly. Peter clutched his side. "AGH!"

"You think you can just take on the entire Reich with a baseball bat? You aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, now are you? TWAT!"

 

Then Phoenix appeared right besides Peter. "Peter, what in the FUCK are you doing? REMEMBER, GIVING UP IS FOR PUSSIES," Phoenix advised Peter. Peter shook his head.

Phoenix stuck two fingers into Peter's wound. "So... GET UP, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!"

Peter's eyebrows tilted downwards to the bridge of his nose. "RIGHT!"

 Peter kicked Werner backwards, and with both hands, removed the sword from his side. "YOU REALLY FUCKED UP NOW, BUDDY!" 

He swung the sword and missed Werner. Werner punched Peter in the side and then flipped backwards. Werner attempted to grab Peter's baseball bat. "How the fuck do you use this thing?"

His fingers pulled the trigger and the thruster caused Werner to slam the bat into the ground. "SHITE!" 

Peter one-handedly sliced Werner's hands off and then walked over to him. "Hope you enjoy the ride down," he told him. Werner spat on the side of Peter's cheek. "See you in Hell, CUNT." 

Peter kicked Werner into the elevator shaft, sending him two stories down. Then the wall behind Peter crumbled down, as Enrich blasted through it with his suit of armor. "You are skilled in the art of two-handed weapons, but are you skilled in surviving the pain you are about to suffer?" Enrich announced. Peter collected his rifle and reloaded. "Don't listen to that dumbass. He's just gonna try and drag you down." Peter fired several shots that hit Enrich's suit of armor. Enrich was only taking direct impact, not physical damage, however. With one finger, Enrich fired a small missile at Peter. "SHIT."

"See it. Shoot it." Peter watched a red projectile hovering towards him, and destroyed it with one shot. The explosion staggered both Peter and Enrich. Peter took cover behind a corner and peeked out from behind it. Enrich was ripping a piece of the wall out and preparing to hurl it at Peter. "Come out, RODENT! Let me SQUASH YOU!"

Peter checked his rifle and noticed a firing mode labeled, "HEATED-METAL." His thumb switched it on. "That's more like it!" Peter shot Enrich in the shoulder and the orange-steaming metal started to singe the ballistic armor. "Mmmrgh! SCHISSE!"

Peter continued to fire, and hit Enrich's suit a few more times. The burning orange color started to merge into one. The more shots Peter fired, the more orange it turned. Enrich touched the burning parts of the suit.

"AAAAAAAH! AHAH! AHHHHHHH! ES BRENNT! ES VERDAMMT VERBRENNUNGEN! Holen Sie es sich von mir!"

Enrich removed the power-armor and yanked out his pistol. "ALRIGHT, AMERICAN, LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN YOUR HEAD!"

 

Peter froze right when he felt a bullet hit him in the skull. "GODDAMN, THAT HURTS.... Aghh... Feels like a thousand needles plunging into the side of my eye and cheek.... GOD.... Ahh...."

He hit the floor, face first. Enrich stepped over to his body. "BUT I NEVER SAID I WAS DEAD, DID I?"

 

Peter fired the rest of his magazine into Enrich's body, setting him ablaze. "AHHHH! AHHHHHH!" he squealed in flames. Before he was able to be killed, he mashed a button on his suit. "SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE, ENABLED. 10 SECONDS UNTIL DETONATION." 

"Turning this place into a damn barbecue now?"

Peter sprinted over to the stairwell and started pulling on the knob to the door. "ACCESS CARD MISSING." 

"BULLSHIT!"

He sprinted over to the elevator and nearly fell off. "WHOA..." 

Peter sprinted out from the doorway. There was no other way out. Peter dropped his rifle and snatched his bat quickly. "5 SECONDS UNTIL DETONATION."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"3 SECONDS UNTIL DETONATION."

"HELL!"

"..2..."

"MMMRGH!" Peter grunted, jumping into the elevator shaft.

"...1..."

The third floor was blown to bits and began to crumble by the second.

Chapter XIII: Bringing it Down

 Peter's hands wrapped around one of the loose cables and almost dropped down the entire  shaft. "Holy SHIT!" he said, with relief that he didn't fall to his death. And then someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Huh?" 

He looked to his left, and Natasha was also hanging on a cable. "Missed me?"

"Thank Christ, you're alright- I thought he actually killed you."

"I can cheat death too many times."

"Keep laughing at death and at one point it's gonna laugh back."

"Well I'll have the last laugh. So anyways, how are we gonna get out of this thing?"

 

Below them was the crushed elevator car. Peter looked at the unopened set of doors to the second floor below Natasha's shoes. "Alright, I got a plan that sucks ass but it might just work. The second floor's entrance is right there, if I can get over there and pry the doors open, we can swing inside."

He looked at Natasha's leg. "Alright, I'm about to grab your foot, hold on, alright?"

"Gotcha." 

Peter boosted momentum to swing over to Natasha, and swung over to Natasha, grabbing her foot. Peter inserted his fingers between the doors of the 2nd floor, and inched one a few to the right. "Come on..." 

Peter shoved the grip of the bat between the doors and pryed it further. "Alright, let's go!"

He entered the 2nd floor and so did Natasha. The third floor had crumbled into the 2nd floor, covering the floor in rocks, dust, and woodchips. "This place is coming down fast, we gotta move!" Peter screamed over the noises of flames. Natasha held her breath, following Peter throughout the smoke clouded hallway. "Holy fuck, I hope I don't get lung cancer from all this smoke." Peter watched a security guard get completely squashed by a falling rock. "HOLY- OKAY, alright we gotta go a LITTLE BIT FASTER!"

Peter proceeded through two crossed wooden beams that fell from the ceiling. Natasha crawled underneath it to continue. "Well, I guess you could say this part is gonna end the first part of this journey I'm on-"

 

Natasha noticed Peter's eye and said, "PETER? What the fuck happened to your eye? Did you get SHOT?" 

"Whoops! Can't forget about that!" Peter popped his neck in place and said, "Umm... Yes?"

"Ugh, it looks ugly by the second, we got to get you out and to a hospital-"

"No, no no no- Not a hospital, they'll sniff me out quick and we can't have that," Peter denied Natasha's idea. The two arrived at a window. "Alright, I don't see any other way out, so this is the only way! READY?"

A beam fell behind them, scorched by fire.

"YES!"

The two held hands and crashed through the window, landing on a taxi outside. "Okay, NOW we're good. So cue the second part." 

 

 

PART 2

 PART 2

What, did you think something else was gonna be here? - Peter Frederick Shkeppaltiger.

 

Chapter XIV: Low

 PHOENIX'S RESIDENCE

SUBSEQUENT AFTER THE INCIDENT AT 44 AVENUE

 

Tyler finished the bolt on Peter's eye. "Alright, can you see now?" Tyler questioned him. Peter's right eye still couldn't see anything. 

"Nope. Still dark."

Tyler tightened the bolt on the frame of the robotic eye. "What about... now?"

The magnification lens inside the robotic eye blinked. It blinked twice more. "Whoa.... IT ACTUALLY WORKS! I can see!" Peter cheered, with an ecestatic emotion on his face. "You're a genius Ty." 

"Thanks, umm... If it starts messing with your head or something, come tell me so I can fix the kinks in it." 

 Peter nodded and everybody left the garage. In the corner, Kraut had duct tape over his mouth and earplugs in, as he watched what just happened. Then Hans entered the room after everybody made a mass exodus, with his arms crossed. 

"Tell me, Peter, vas it really a vise decision to bring a Nazi into the place? He swore in German so many times that Joseph might grow up saying zhat... PROFANITY. He vill be all over zhe place saying, 'Schisse' and 'Arschloch' and all of the other vones."

"I brought him here to interrogate him and beat the shit out of him per protocol. I believe it was a good decision." 

"Vhat if he breaks out, huh? Vhat if he manages to escape, and zhen comes for all of us? Vhat vill ve do zhen? Or vait, vhat if he runs off vith our address? Zhen vhat?"

Peter stood up and pointed to Hans, saying, "Hans, you need to chill out. In case you haven't noticed, he's got one FUCKING leg to hop on. We're safe." 

Hans grabbed a chainsaw with both of his hands and revved up the engine. "WHOA! HOLD ON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?"

"Making a precaution BECAUSE YOU CAN'T!"

Peter shook his head with no choice. "I gotta do something quick." He snatched his bat off the table and smacked the chainsaw out of Hans' hands. "What the fuck is the matter with you? We're fine the way we fucking are, so deal with it!"

"Fine? VE ARE NOT FINE VHEN ZHE ENEMY IS IN OUR TERRITORY!"

"YOU WERE ONE OF THEM SO YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

"I LEFT ZHE REICH FOR ZHE GREATER GOOD!"

"THAT IS A FATASS LIE, YOU LEFT BECAUSE YOU WERE A PUSSY AND DIDN'T WANT PHOENIX TO BEAT YOUR ASS!"

"ZHAT TOO."

"NICE JOB ROMEO, YOU JUST EXPOSED YOURSELF."

"FICH DICH!"

 

Hans shoved Peter into his workbench, banging his bang against the table. "Little SCHISSE, you aren't zhe sharpest tool in zhe shed, ARE YOU NOW?"

 Peter straightened his back and pounded his fists together. "Oh ho ho, you're gonna pay for that!" 

Peter punched Hans in the side of the head, but then felt a kick in the knee. Both men backed away from each other. "Hans, you... This ain't worth it, alright? Just get outta-" 

Peter rolled to the right of Hans, who was charging toward him with a screwdriver. "HANS! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU BEFORE YOU KICK YOUR OWN ASS BY ME KICKING YOUR ASS BECAUSE OF YOU WANTING TO KICK MY ASS BECAUSE I SAID PHOENIX KICKED YOUR ASS. Yeah, read that twice if you gotta." 

Hans