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not seeing me at my best.”

Kronta reached into his xarpa, withdrew a small package and opened it. Inside was a medal on a cord. “This is the ExoAgency Service medallion. It's awarded for service above and beyond the call of duty.” He placed it around Nyk's neck.

Nyk looked at the medal, then removed it and handed it to Andra. “This really belongs to you. I can't take it with me to Earth.”

“Nykkyo, please accept my deepest apologies for insisting you involve yourself in this affair. You had no business on Lexal, and I had no business insisting you to go there.”

“You're forgiven, Illya. You'll be pleased to learn I have another Kyhana journal to translate.”

Nykkyo stepped from the packet into the communications relay station. Inside the workroom he saw Seymor. “Welcome back, lad.” Seymor opened his arms and embraced him.

“What's the weather like?” Nyk asked.

“A very pleasant June, so far.”

Nyk stepped into the wardroom and selected a polo shirt, shorts and running shoes. He picked up his keys and wallet from his personal effects locker. “Well, I've learned one very important lesson from all this.”

“What's that?”

“Never get involved in something outside your own domain of responsibility.”

“Come, lad, before we lose the dark.” He followed Seymor into the shuttlebay.

Sitting next to his old shuttlecar was Seymor's bubble shuttle, designed to be mistaken for a two-man helicopter -- including sham rotors that could be deployed within the atmosphere for verisimilitude in taking off and landing.

Seymor sat behind the control panel and began prelaunch diagnostics. The shuttlebay depressurized, the spacedoor opened and the shuttle lifted off the deck and headed into deep space.

Seymor initiated the subjump. The shuttle's bubble went opaque and Nyk felt the jolt. Transparency returned and Nyk looked down on the brilliant blue sphere of Earth.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I'm eager to be home,” Nyk replied. “But I'm also dreading it -- I don't know how I'll function.”

“You've been through a war, lad. I've seen enough reports of Earth wars to begin to understand.”

“I can't sleep. Every night I'm haunted by the face of the commando I killed.”

“Those commandos made a choice when they joined, lad. They knew the risks.”

Nyk shook his head. “That man had a mother, a father, perhaps siblings or a wife or loved ones.” He looked down at his hands. “I took that away.” He brushed away tears.

“I assure you none of those men would grieve for their victims.”

“Andra said the same to me. I'm not just grieving for them. I'm grieving for something that died in myself. I don't know how I can return to Suki and her parents. I certainly can't talk about it with them.”

“You can talk about it with Sukiko.”

Nyk shook his head again. “No, I don't think I can. She wouldn't understand what this means to a Floran.”

Seymor activated counter-measures and began a descent toward North America. He piloted the shuttle onto the roof of the building where he had is penthouse co-op. “Are you going to the house?”

“It's two in the morning. I don't want to disturb Suki's folks.”

“I have a spare room. Be my guest, Nyk. I'm not expecting you in the office for a few days. Take some time to think things through.”

Nyk nodded. He opened the door to the shuttle and helped Seymor attach safety tethers to lash the craft to the roof-top helipad. Seymor escorted him through sliding glass doors into the penthouse. “This is my humble abode. The guestroom's over there.

“Good night.” Nyk walked into the guestroom, flopped on the bed and sobbed himself to sleep.

Nyk paid the cabby and climbed the steps to the house in Queens. He reached into his pocket, withdrew his house key and opened the front door. “It's Nick, Yasuko,” he called toward the back of the house.

Suki's mother stepped from the family room. She opened her arms and embraced him. Nyk kissed her forehead and held her tightly. “I'm happy to see you,” she said.

“I'm happy to be home.”

“Anything exciting happen on your trip?”

“Nothing worth mentioning.”

“Sukiko called several times while you were gone. She was asking for you. I told her you were called out of town unexpectedly.”

“How did she take that?”

“She said perhaps it was good for you -- to keep you preoccupied and your mind off the two of you being apart.”

“Preoccupied ... I was preoccupied, all right.”

Nyk knelt on the tatami mats around the dining table. Yasuko handed him a bowl. He picked up his chopsticks and poked the objects swimming in the broth.

“I made miso soup,” Yasuko said. “I know it's one of your favorites.”

Nyk sipped the broth. “Yes. It's very good.” He set the bowl down.

“How's business?” George asked.

Nyk looked up. “I'm sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked how's business. I assume you were called out of town on some field problem.”

“A field problem. That's a good way to express it. Business is fine.”

Yasuko looked into his eyes. “Nick, is something wrong?”

He shook his head. “I'm tired. I need to lie down.” He carried his bowl to the kitchen, set it by the sink and headed up to the apartment.

Nyk opened the closet and took down a cardboard carton from the top shelf. He withdrew a polymer fiber sack, dipped his hand inside and grabbed a handful of uncut diamond crystals. He let them fall through his fingers back into the sack. Then, he kicked off his running shoes, flopped on the bed and laced his fingers behind his head.

A rap on the apartment door roused his napping. “Nick? Nick?”

“Yes George?”

“Sukiko's on the phone.”

Nyk headed down the stairs and took the handset. “Hello korlyta.”

“Nykkyo, so good to hear you. Mom said you were out of town.”

“Yes, I was called out on a ... special project.”

“Anything interesting happen?”

“No ... How's the dig going?”

“It went well. We're finishing up right now. In two days, Vlad and I fly home.”

“Did you find anything?”

“We found the site of a thousand-year-old village.”

“That's amazing.”

“When I was in Syria, we were excavating a five-thousand-year-old site. That's truly the cradle of our civilization.”

“It's not your civilization. You're Japanese.”

“It IS my civilization. I told you -- I'm an American.”

“See you in a couple of days, korlyta.”

Nyk sat in International Arrivals at JFK airport. The monitors showed Suki's flight had landed. He paced.

Some passengers began coming from Customs. Nyk looked toward the doorway. He spotted her as she came through the door, pushing a cart piled with baggage. Her eyes met his and she broke into a run. Nyk opened his arms and held her. He placed his lips to the top of her head and inhaled.

“Lord, don't do that -- my hair must be disgusting. I need a shower so badly.”

“Roses wouldn't smell sweeter.”

She lifted her arms and turned around. “Do I look any more pregnant?”

“Not much more.”

“See? We didn't miss anything. I'm home in plenty of time for birthing classes and picking out nursery furniture.”

Suki descended the stairs from the apartment combing her wet hair. “I hadn't realized how much I missed plumbing.” She sat beside Nyk on the sofa and leaned against him. “Mmm, this feels so good.”

“Are you glad you went?”

“Oh, yes. It was great working with Vlad again.”

“Are you planning on more digs?”

“No. I was really bothered by the heat and the dust and the lack of hygiene. It didn't bother me in Syria -- but, maybe I'm getting older.” She cuddled against him. “Mom, open that suitcase. I brought gifts for everyone. I'd open it myself, but this feels too good.”

Nyk felt her body relax against his and he saw her eyes drifting shut. He scooped her up and began carrying her upstairs. “Where are you taking me?”

“To bed, little girl. You've had a busy day.”

Nyk helped her out of her robe and turned down the covers. She climbed into bed. He undressed, slid in beside her and put his arm around her.

“Oh, Nykkyo -- despite the heat and dust, it felt so good to be in the field and using my degree. This was my first opportunity to use it since I graduated. I had my doubts, and I needed this to dispel them.”

“Andra said something quite like that to me not too long ago.”

“Vlad and I had some nice long talks. There's an opening for an assistant professor in history at Pace. He convinced me to go for it. He thinks I'm a natural. Some Pace undergraduates came along for this dig and I really connected with them. I enjoyed teaching in Wisconsin, and now I'm more certain than ever it's what I want to do.”

“What about the baby? Won't that hurt your chances?”

“Vlad said if this job at Pace is the right fit, they'll work around my maternity leave. I'll call tomorrow and see if I can arrange an interview. Now, you tell me about your trip. Did Seymor send you to some meetings?”

He shook his head. “No. I was doing a favor for ... one of the Agency bosses.”

“Did you see Andra?”

He nodded. “Yes, I saw Andra.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No ... yes, I did sleep with her a couple times. We didn't make love. Andra didn't want us to.”

“I thought you said you have a little love in your heart for her.”

“I do.”

“Doesn't she have some for you?”

“Andra's a remarkable woman... ” He stroked her arm. “She thought we shouldn't -- out of respect for you.”

“Andra said that?”

“She doesn't want us to do anything that would threaten what you and I have together.”

“Andra is remarkable. I really would like her as my friend. Do you think she'd agree?”

“Undoubtedly she would.” Nyk reached and switched off the light. He closed his eyes and relaxed, willing himself to sleep. He felt Suki drowse beside him.

He saw the commando lying on his back. The pistol was in Nyk's hand pointing at the trooper. “Mercy,” the trooper pleaded. He pressed the trigger and watched the pellet emerge from the muzzle. It traveled its trajectory in slow-motion and shattered the man's forehead.

Nyk gasped. He opened his eyes and looked around the darkened room. He closed his eyes and attempted again to will himself to sleep. He saw the commando standing before him, holding the shotgun. He jacked a shell into the chamber, pointed it at Nyk and pressed the trigger. Nyk saw the flash.

“Yaaaah!” he screamed and sat up.

“What's the matter?”

He was panting and his heart was racing. “It was a bad dream! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you.”

“It's all right -- it's all right.” She kissed him. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

He shook his head. “No. No, let's try to get back to sleep.”

Nyk sat in his office staring at the screen of his laptop computer. Seymor walked in and pulled the door closed. “Still troubled?”

“I can't keep my mind on my work. I need all my energy to keep a happy face at home. I can't sleep, I can't get anything done and I go home exhausted.”

“You haven't talked to Sukiko about it yet?”

“No. I don't know how I can.”

“Nykkyo, I'd have thought you, of all people, would've. Do you want a leave of absence?”

Nyk shook his head. “I don't know what I want. I'd give anything right now for some homeworld drugs.”

“Gads, lad. You have to get over it.” Seymor stood at the window looking out at the New York skyline. “You don't know how worried I was -- especially after I started hearing the reports of the assault on the Lexal capital. I told Kronta I'd never forgive him if anything happened to you.” Seymor turned and looked at Nyk. “He told me he'd never forgive himself.”

“Kronta didn't shoot someone in the face. Seymor, I hope I never get my hands on another weapon. I don't know what I'd do.”

“I've read the reports, Nyk. No one is blaming you. No one thinks you did anything but the right thing.”

“I keep wondering about that poor man's family.”

“That commando wouldn't have thought twice about you or yours. Nyk, you're depressed. Let's give Grynnya a call. She can hook you up with a psychomedic who might help you.”

“I don't want to involve Grynnya.”

“As your superior I'm ordering you to. I may have to order you to the homeworld for treatment.”

Nyk held Suki and stroked her arm. “Mmm,” she said.

“Mmm?”

She took a deep breath. “Mmmmmm. It always feels so good.” She kissed his cheek.

Nyk switched off the lamp. Suki cuddled against him. “I always fall asleep so easily after making love with you. It's a great sleep aid.”

“Not from boredom, I hope.”

“Of course not. I missed you so much in Turkey. Going to bed alone was the hardest part.”

He felt her body relax and her legs twitch as she drowsed. Nyk closed his eyes. He could hear the sounds of the city through the open bedroom window. Periodically

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