The Lexal Affair - DM Arnold (feel good books .txt) 📗

wiped tears from her face. “I never expected to come home to find you in a state of meltdown. Tell me what happened.”

Nyk sat on the sofa, buried his face in his hands and sobbed. “You're right. Something did happen on Floran.” He shook his head. “I don't know how I'll live with myself.”

She sat beside him and stroked his back. “Tell me what it was.”

“It was horrible...”

“You've given me a shoulder to cry upon, now it's my turn.” She took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

He lay beside her as she held him and caressed his hair. “It was so horrible ... oh, Suki... ” he sobbed. “Suki, hold me ... love me...”

Nykkyo climbed the stairs to the FloranCo offices, unpacked his laptop computer and sat behind his desk. Seymor poked his head into the door. “Doing any better?” Nyk shook his head. “Have you called Grynnya?”

“No.”

“Call her, Nyk. That's an order.” Seymor pulled the door shut behind him.

Nyk rested his head in his hand as he stared at the screen. He closed his eyes and began weeping softly.

A beeping noise startled him. He was slumped over the laptop with his face resting on the keyboard. The clock on the display read 1 PM. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. A knock came at his office door. “Come in.”

Jaquie cracked open the door. “Mr Seymor wants to see you in his office.”

“Let me make a call. Tell him I'll be there in a minute.”

“He wants to see you now.”

Nyk stood, walked to Seymor's office and opened the door. Seymor was sitting behind his desk. “Close the door, lad. Take a seat.”

“I was just about to call Grynnya,” Nyk said, and he became aware of another presence in the office. He turned and saw Suki sitting in the corner.

“I'm delighted to meet your ... friend,” Seymor said. “I only wish it had been under happier circumstances. Sukiko tells me you had a rough night.” Nyk nodded. “I was pleased to receive her call this morning. Lad, I can't bear to see such a solid contributor in this state.” He picked up the phone and pressed a button. “Now, Jaquie.”

Seymor's office door opened and Jaquie handed him an envelope. He dismissed her with a nod and handed the envelope to Suki. “These are two first- class tickets to Kansas City. Your flight leaves in three hours. Sukiko has agreed to make sure you get on the plane here in New York and get off in KC. Grynnya will be awaiting you at the airport.”

“You're not sending me up, are you?”

“That's not my intention. We'll let Grynnya be the judge of that. She has the authority to send you home, if she deems it necessary. I hope it won't be ... You are relieved of duty and placed on medical leave. Go take care of yourself, lad. We need you.”

“Come on,” Suki said. “Jaquie's calling a cab.”

“What about my stuff?” Seymor produced a suitcase from behind his desk. Nyk grasped it and followed Suki to the street.

“I've obviously never met this Grynnya - Nellie person,” Suki said. “Seymor tells me she's helped other Agents with emotional trouble. I realize you can't talk to a counselor here, but maybe you can talk to her.”

The cab pulled to the curb, the driver stepped out and dropped the suitcase into the trunk. Nyk climbed in beside Suki. “Airport ... La Guardia,” she said. She picked up his hand. “It's going to come out. You might as well tell me.”

Nyk stared out the window as the cab made its way to the east side of Manhattan and pulled into the lane for the Triborough bridge. He saw the exit ramp for La Guardia.

“Which airline?” the cabby asked.

Suki opened the envelope. “United.”

The cab stopped at the terminal. Nyk reached into his pocket. “I have it,” Suki said and handed the driver some bills.

Nyk sat by the window as the aircraft hurtled down the runway. Suki looked around. “This is the first time I've flown first class.”

The flight attendant approached to inquire about beverages.

“No thanks.” She reached for Nyk's hand. “Now, tell me about it.”

He bowed his head and brushed away tears. “When I was on Floran ... I ... I killed a man.”

She gasped. “Oh, my God! Are you a fugitive? When you said you'd need to travel home -- was it to face charges?” Her eyes widened. “Oh, no! Are we headed into a trap? Is Grynnya going to turn you over to your authorities? This is why you're thinking of quitting the Agency!”

“No. Internal Affairs ruled it justified.”

“Justified?”

“I was at the Residence, defending Senta and Andra.”

“A man's home is his castle -- on Floran as well as here. How did it happen?”

“I'd rather not go into it. Ever since, I've been haunted by it.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“You wouldn't understand. I don't know how I'll live with myself.”

“Why don't you think I'd understand?”

“I have a man's blood on my hands. You can't know what this means to a Floran. No Earth person could.”

“Do you think you put a higher value on life than I do? I don't swat flies!”

“But ... violence is part of Earth's culture. You live with it on a daily basis.”

“Me? No, Nykkyo -- I don't live with violence.” She looked directly into his eyes. “So it finally comes out -- you're prejudiced. You're a racist!”

He shook his head. “No ... no ... this has nothing to do with the fact you're Asian. I cherish your Asian heritage.”

“It has to do with my planet of origin -- you think I'm more of a savage. Nykkyo, I'm accustomed to dealing with racism. I expect a certain segment of the population to think I'm subhuman because of this.” She pointed to her eyelid. “I never expected to hear something like that from your lips! Do you really think your culture is so superior?”

Nyk gasped. “You're right! I'm so, so sorry. Forgive me. I feel so ashamed!”

She stroked his face. “It's all right. Now I know what it is -- for a while I thought it might be something with me.” She shook her head. “We've much more in common than do we differ. We're both no more nor less human than the other. I do understand.”

“I've never hurt anyone -- not intentionally at least. To have this on my conscience...” He sobbed again.

“Something like this happened to my best friend in high school -- my only friend. She was driving and hit a patch of ice in an intersection. She struck and killed a little boy. She went through what you're going through -- the unbearable guilt, losing interest in school and withdrawing from her friends.”

“How did she deal with it?”

“She didn't. One morning she didn't get up for school. Her mother went to her room and found her in bed with a plastic bag over her head. Then I felt guilty -- that I hadn't been more of a help to her.”

“I keep thinking, I might've done something differently and this wouldn't have happened.”

“What do you tell me? Might-haves don't count. Nykkyo, my friend thought things might've been different if she hadn't taken the car to go across town. I thought things might've been different if I'd been a better friend. What's done is done. You must get on with life.” She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “Nykkyo, let me be the friend to you I couldn't be to my girlfriend. I couldn't bear to lose you. I can't bear to see you like this.”

Tears ran down his face. “You do understand. I'm so sorry...” He opened his arms to her and embraced her. “Can you forgive me? Can you love me? Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do.” She caressed his hair. “Of course I love you. Would I put up with this from someone I didn't love?”

Nyk smiled, kissed her and held her again. A flight attendant approached. “Are you all right?”

“I think we will be,” Suki replied. “He's been through a terrible ordeal and this is cathartic.”

“I'll leave you two alone.”

Nyk tightened his embrace, buried his face against her and wept. “Let it out,” Suki whispered. “Let it all out, like you tell me to do.” He felt her lips against the top of his head.

Nyk walked toward the terminal. Near the security checkpoint he saw Grynnya. She spotted him and waved.

“So, this is the little Kyhana woman,” she said. “Nykkyo told me of you. When's it due?”

“December.”

“You have my best wishes. Come -- my car's outside.”

Grynnya led the way to the parking lot. She opened the door to her station wagon. “You can sit in the front,” she said to Suki. “We can enjoy some girl talk.” She started the engine and began backing out of her parking stall. Her eyes met Nyk's. “Look at you! Have you been crying?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“He blubbered like a baby the whole flight. He needed it.”

“He probably did.” She pulled out of the parking lot.

“Nykkyo says you're Earthbound. How long have you been here?”

“Twenty-five years. That's twenty-five Earth years.”

“What made you decide to be Earthbound?”

Grynnya smiled. “In general, Florans prefer to return to the homeworld. We find Earth a hard place to like. A few of us feel differently. Isn't that right, Nyk? I understand you've seen our world.”

“What little I could see of it from a hospital window,” she replied. “Every Floran I've met has been so sweet. I love your people.”

Grynnya smiled again. “Your woman has good taste.”

“What can you do to help Nykkyo?”

“He's suffering post-trauma depression. I don't think it should be too difficult to deal with. Did he tell you what he's been through?”

Suki nodded. “It must've been horrible.”

Grynnya pulled into a long driveway and approached her ranch-style house. She reached under the seat and retrieved a garage-door actuator. The door opened and she pulled next to her shuttlecar. “Let's have something to eat,” she said. “We'll get started after dinner.”

Nyk followed Grynnya to her basement. “Take your shirt off,” she said. Nyk complied. She looked him over and clicked her tongue. “Your Earth woman is one lucky gal. Take a seat. Remember, you still owe me a night.”

She opened a cabinet and withdrew a Floran handheld blood analyzer. “Give me your finger.” He pressed his finger against a detent and winced as a lancet jabbed him. She swabbed the wound with some healing salve.

“I spoke to a psychomedic earlier about your case. Once we get some body chemistry nailed down, we'll give you some treatment. The psychomedic wants to have some regular consultations with you, but you can do that over vidphone. The most important thing is to get something into you to adjust your brain chemistry.”

“Some feelgood preparation?”

Grynnya poked controls on the analyzer. “That'll take a moment to work ... No. Nyk, I've had experience with cases like yours. Not exactly like yours, but similar. You're not the first Agent to find yourself in a depression.” She read the analyzer report, picked up a handheld vidisplay and poked its screen. “You've suffered emotional trauma. Your brain responds, chemically. Now, it's become used to that chemical environment -- it thinks this is the way to be. What I'm giving you will be a kick-start to get your brain chemistry back to somewhat normal. The guilt triggered this. The talk therapy will help you resolve it.”

“Explain to me why I needed to remove my shirt.”

“We're coming to that.” She removed a kit from the cabinet and opened it. With a pair of forceps she removed a flexible strand and placed it into a cylinder. She adjusted a calibrated plunger, then attached a needle. “You're a lucky guy -- you get a green one.”

“That's a rather impressive looking needle,” he said.

“This is an implant that'll deliver the drug. It's a mild anti- depressant and it includes some other brain-chemistry modifiers.”

“I figured it was an implant. It is a daunting looking needle.”

She lifted her left arm. “Feel here.” He ran his finger along the inside of her bicep.

“Your contraceptive implant capsule. I used to feel Senta's from time to time.”

“It's as big around as a pencil,” she replied. “Every Floran girl experiences that -- it's a sort of rite of passage into puberty. Trust me -- this needle's nothing. Lift your arm.” She swabbed the inside of his left arm with some antiseptic. Then, she removed the needle guard, held the needle flat and drove it beneath his skin. She pressed the plunger.

Nyk winced. “Ow, that hurts.”

“It's coated with salve. It'll be better in a moment. I'll see if I have any candies for a good boy.”

He rubbed the inside of his arm. “Now what?”

“You'll have to work out the schedule with the psychomedic. It'll be a challenge with the time difference, but I'm sure you'll manage.