Words Have Power - Dominique Fields (romantic novels to read txt) 📗

Words Have Power

Copyright 2019 Dominique Fields

I would like to start with a disclaimer. Disclaimer: I am NOT a licensed psychologist or therapist. I do not work in mental health services. Everything I have mentioned is through firsthand experience and research. If you or a loved one think you may suffer from anxiety and/or depression, it is best to get checked by a clinical psychologist.

According to the diagnostic criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition (DSM-5), panic attacks are experienced as a sudden sense of fear and dread plus four or more of the mental, emotional, and physical symptoms mentioned above. Everyone experiences them differently. With that out of the way, allow me to introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Dominique and I suffer from anxiety. A couple of years I go I started on an unexpected journey. I decided to pursue a second degree. It was the best of time and the worst of times...a little Charles Dickens for you. Honestly though, I joke but it was a very rough time for me. A year ago, I graduated from college with my master’s in communication and it only went downhill from there. Hindsight, I’ve always thought I had a lot going on in my mind. I thought it was normal for the most part. Once it came to the point where it started affecting how I lived my life, I knew something wasn’t right.

I have always been a little quirky and I have always disliked crowds. I pretty much like to stay to myself as I am an introvert and I know many others do as well. Again, I didn’t realize it was as serious as it was until I noticed that I became really anxious, really uncomfortable around other people. Literally, I could barely function when a lot of humans were present. I just thought I was painfully shy.

Rewinding back to my childhood, I was always painfully shy. I remember being in a pageant when I was around 5 and my older cousin had to walk out on stage with me because I had just had a tear-filled breakdown backstage. I was the only child who needed that assistance and that was my only pageant appearance. I remember a few years later losing a spelling bee contest that I had progressed so far in because we had to get in front of a room full of people once making it to a certain round. I remember getting the news flash that everyone dies at some point and hyperventilating and missing out on sleep for days in a row. I remember my senior year in high school singing in front of an actual audience and almost throwing up and feeling light headed before walking out on the stage. I had another friend performing with me, so I had to pull it together and somehow fooled people into thinking I was okay. The performance was awful by the way. I have never performed again since then. Oh, woe is me. Those are just very few things that happened that should have alerted me to what I realized later in life.

Before I go on, though, let me provide some background information on mental health. What is health? Health, as defined by the World Health Organization, is “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” What is mental health? MentalHealth.gov defines mental health as “including our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps

determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.” Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Now, back to my story, I have a couple of friends who have clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I was able to speak with them about what I was experiencing and was able to get some good advice. I am forever grateful for that. But it took a while for me to want to be open and be vulnerable enough to have those conversations. It wasn’t easy to outwardly express, what I felt was a weakness, to others. I was the strong friend who didn’t show emotions and had it together. I wasn’t the friend who experienced depressive episodes and self- loathing thoughts. No, not me.

Healthline states, “what sets a true depressive episode apart is that you have symptoms like these during most of the day, almost every day, for at least two weeks.” Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Whether you have a disorder, or you’ve never been diagnosed, or you have been diagnosed and take medication for it does not make your situation and experience any less real or severe than anyone else. That is something that needs to be discussed. You don’t get to dictate how bad others have it. You don’t get to dictate what others feel or experience. Don’t let anyone dictate yours either.

I am so grateful and happy to have the community around me that cares for me and wanted to help me along this journey. So, this is a shout out to those friends and they know who they are. Thank you for all your help and guidance through this journey with me.

I used to hide all my pain through my deprecating sense of humor and nonchalant approach to everything. If that didn’t work then I would shut myself away from the world until I felt I could put my happy charade back on. I have been seeing all this talk about manifestation and speaking things into existence and I thought I would finally give it a try. At first, I wasn’t sold. Words are supposed to just change my whole life because I speak an think them? Nah, I wasn’t easily convinced on that. However, I have started manifesting and meditating. It couldn’t hurt to try, right? What harm could it do. Well, I saw a change! At least for my mental if nothing else. Words do have power.

So, I decided that I would like to share the power of words with others who may be a little skeptical of the concept. This book contains some of my favorite words that have helped me along this journey. I want to share this with others in hope that it does the same for you. I recently started a blog called RueXO that discusses my journey with mental health and some posts about mental health facts. I would say this is a shameless plug but there’s no shame in my game. If you like this book, you should check out my blog. If you don’t like this book, still check out my blog! Regardless, happy reading! -XO

I am a winner. No matter what obstacles come my way, I have value. My season of winning is coming.  

I have anxiety. The majority of the time, there is always something wrong with me…in my head.  Somehow, someway, I am just not good enough. Then I realize that it is just my anxiety, and I  can be anything I put my heart, mind, and energy into and that is a winner. Every moment in our life is not and will never be a highlight. I found out that embracing my struggle serves as a superpower and motivation at the same time. If I don’t like my circumstance, change it when and where I can. I am the only one who has the power to change the trajectory of my life. Look for a  win in every loss because it’s there, waiting to be utilized. I am a winner.

The only person who can defeat me is myself. I own that and give no power to anyone other than myself. 

You are solely responsible for your life. Many times, we get stuck in the necessity for validation from others. It can come in various aspects such as romantic validation, friendship,  familial, professional, etc. The only person who can truly give you validation is yourself. I have spent many years tweaking and tuning my reaction to the opinions of others. You have to understand why validation is so important to you in order to tackle it head-on. You also have to be honest with yourself and realize who you seek validation from. We all seek it from somewhere. The thoughts of others are none of your business because, in the end, the only person who can defeat you is yourself.

Even outside my comfort zone, I will be comfortable in my own skin. 

This one is a toughie. Self-esteem is a tricky thing. It takes some a lifetime to master and others not as long. Understanding and accepting who you are can be a difficult feat. I can tell you all day every day that you are incredible and should love yourself, but until you believe that and genuinely embody it, those are just words. We all are deserving of loving ourselves. We all are deserving of taking risks to better ourselves. Be comfortably you.