Brain on Porn (Social #2) - DeYtH Banger (a book to read TXT) 📗

path.  I had a family that depended on me and a mortgage.

All the stress and anxiety due to uncertainty affected my life at home, my relationship and it took years off my health…not to mention turning into gray the little hair on my head I had left.  I was in a spiral of anxiety over thinking everything, constantly worrying about the future.

But over the course of the last few years, by randomness and chance, I learned…I grew and started feeling better because I understood how to embrace the chaos.

Here are four reasons to stop worrying about the future…actually these are four WAYS of helping to deal with anxiety and deal with uncertainty that helped me stop the worrying and move forward…hope they help you:

 

1.  You can’t predict it.  

 

Stop worrying about the future because you cannot predict the future.

The main tenet of a lot of our life stress and frustration is this nagging and seemingly scary feeling deep inside that you just don’t know what’s going to happen next.  From your career to your relationship to the way your kids will turn out to how ‘things will play out’ in your business—it is getting harder to figure things out accurately.  Things are so much more unpredictable today because of the complexity of our society. And it bugs us…it eats us up slowly from the inside and causes this vicious spiral of worrying and anxiety.

So STOP TRYING TO PREDICT THE FUTURE!  Stop wasting your time thinking about what CAN happen and start spending your time MAKING SOMETHING HAPPEN TODAY!

We may have made advances in medicine, technology and comfort, but we still cannot predict the future.  Accept it and move on.  Stop trying to predict what’s going to happen next.  In your job.  In your career.  In your relationship.  In your business.  Just stop trying to over think everything and stop trying to predict how things will turn out. Because you’re likely going to be wrong…and guess what?  You’ll worry even more!

 

2. You can’t control it.  

 

Stop worrying about the future because you cannot control the future.

Luck, randomness and chance contribute so much to the unpredictable nature of life that it is just unrealistic to think you can control things.  You can’t.  I have a hard time controlling my kids and it would be foolish to think I can control my career or anything else.

Break the root of worry by realizing that you cannot control or dictate things to just be.  It’s just not possible to have total control of your life when you are so intertwined with so much of the world (e.g. butterfly effect).  Instead, deal with the uncertainty of an unknown future by focusing your energy on only the things you CAN control, which are:  Your Thoughts and Your ACTIONS!

Freeing yourself from the handcuffs of control to start working on doing new things to support your goals TODAY is Ju-Jitsu for your soul!  Deal with your anxiety and deal with your stress head on by taking action of the only controllable element in your life:  Your mind.

 

3. You’re missing the best time of your life.  

 

Stop worrying about the future because you’re missing the best time of your life in the here and now.

There is so much you miss in life when your head is in the clouds worrying about an uncertain future.  “My kids grew up in a blink of an eye”, is what so many people say these days. Imagine, you’re here on this rock for a short time and you’re missing the best part because you’re caught up with trying to figure out the future.

 

Forget the future!  Focus on today!  Be in the present moment.  Force yourself to focus on what’s really important in your life – your family, friends, health and the rest.  Being in the here and now is the only truth.  When you feel better about all of that, you’ll be more productive in your career, your business and how you handle your customers, colleagues and employees.  You don’t want regrets in life looking back and realizing that you missed the best time of your existence.

During my tough time trying to deal with anxiety and stress a few years ago, I remember being at the park with the my kids.  It was a beautiful day. No heat.  Perfect breeze.  Great scenery.  But I missed it. Yes, technically I was there but my head was worrying about something somewhere in the future.  By the time I got home, I realized that I really didn’t appreciate and take in the fun in the park with my kids.  I was too busy thinking about the future to appreciate the present.

 

4. Sometimes the worst is not as bad as you think.

 

Stop worrying about the future because sometimes the worst is not as bad as you think.

Our minds play this weird game of attaching strings of thought with one another.  One thought leads to another and then to somewhere else and then to another place entirely.  And the next thing you know, your neck is in pain and you’re dealing with anxiety that came out of nowhere.  We get anxious and nervous about the silliest little things…only they seem little AFTERWARDS.  Sometimes we blow things out of proportion and exaggerate the bad that only our own mind thinks is going to happen.  As I went through my own uncertain up and down journey and observed good friends and family with their chaos of trying to deal with uncertainty, I realized that when you look back at the chaos of life that you’ve gone through – that it wasn’t all that bad.  Sometimes, you don’t even remember it!  Rough yes, but the scenarios you thought it was going to be…probably not!  You got through it.  You survived.  They say, “things work out in the end” because there is some truth to it.  Worrying about the future will not help you deal with it.

From a very personal experience, I believe that in order to stop worrying about the future, whether it’s your business, your career or  your life, you’ve got to come to the realization that while we may have the latest technology available to us on our fingertips, we’re not anything but human.  We can’t predict, we can’t control and we’re only here for a short time.  So forget the future.  Get in the present and enjoy every single moment.

As my mom used to say with such certainty and love, “If you’re going to worry…then worry about the here and now.  Have a cupcake Bobby…it’ll make you feel better:)”

 

 

How to Overcome Getting Nervous Before Workouts

 

 

 

If you spend most of your day dreading your next big workout, you’re not alone. Most of the runners I coach, and I myself, have a tendency to fixate on the impending pain and struggle the next workout will bring.

Fretting over one or two important workouts in a training segment isn’t a problem – it’s normal and an important part of preparing yourself mentally for race day.

However, when you begin to dread and fixate on every single workout, it can become an emotional drain that causes mental burnout and saps the fun out of running. Moreover, this nervousness and fear can convince you that a workout can’t be done before you’ve even tried. You beat yourself before you start.

In this article, we’ll look at two strategies and mental tricks you can implement to help reduce anxiety before workouts. More importantly, we’ll provide a mental road map to help keep you emotionally and mentally fresh throughout your entire training segment.

 

Learn to compartmentalize your running

 

The most effective way to overcome worrying about workouts is to compartmentalize your running. Think of it like wrapping your training in a cocoon and separating it from your life outside running.

Compartmentalization is a mental technique taught to me by a sports psychologist I worked with at the Olympic Training Center. I was having trouble not thinking about running all the time. I would spend hours and sometimes a day after a workout analyzing splits and comparing them to previous sessions. Then, I’d spend the next few days worrying about the upcoming workout. I’d fret over my ability to hit the splits, fearing the pain I was going to put myself through, worrying if what I was eating was going to impact my workout. Training became a mental burden.

Luckily, the sports psychologist taught me how to compartmentalize and training quickly became more enjoyable.

I spent an hour before and an hour after each workout thinking about it. I called it my “training zone” time.

I didn’t allow myself to think about training or upcoming workouts outside this zone. An hour before the workout provides enough time to get mentally geared up and focused and an hour after a run provides time to reflect, recover, and move on.

Like any change, compartmentalization is not an easy or a quick fix. It will take you a few weeks before you stop unintentionally thinking and worrying about the next workout. You’ll find you compartmentalize running easily for a few hours and then have a slip when you get bored or you start planning your day. However, this practice will get easier over time until it becomes second nature.  Once I learned to stick within this two-hour window, not only did I start to enjoy running more, but I became more consistent in workouts.

 

Quick tip – Plan so you don’t have to think

 

One tip my sports psychologist suggested was to create better routines to take the thinking out of a workout. She had me write down and design my optimal pre-workout meal, warm-up, and anything that helped me perform.

Try writing down the elements that help you have an excellent workout. This will help you plan your day so you can release the worry of forgetting or over-thinking them. Once these elements are built into your daily routine, you can stop over thinking the next workout.

 

Shift your mindset

 

Fear, nervousness, and worry arise from not knowing the outcome of an event. Are you going to be able to hit your target splits? Is the workout going to feel easy or be one of those sessions you have to grind through? If you knew the answers to these questions ahead of time, you’d stop worrying, especially if the outcome was favorable.

To combat this, shift your thinking to those aspects of the workouts within your control. I tell the athletes I coach to focus on the purpose and effort of each workout and to concentrate on achieving that outcome. As such, all they have to worry about is giving their best effort, which is easy to do regardless of how they feel. The goal is to remove the fear and nervousness that comes with needing to hit specific splits and shift their focus to taking a step forward in their training.

Along the same lines, keep your workouts in perspective. No single workout is going to make or ruin a training segment. Every workout is a very small step towards you getting fitter for race day. Sometimes, it’s even the most difficult or bad workouts that advance your fitness and mental preparation the most. If you’re putting in the effort, you’ll still make the gains you need. This simple shift in mindset can help ease your worry.

 

Quick tip – Use positive affirmation and self talk

 

Develop a mantra or mental cues that help you think positive and bring your focus back to those elements you can control. Whenever you begin to get nervous or start to over-think an upcoming workout, repeat this confidence boosting mantra to yourself. This will keep you confident and help realign your thinking with the true value of the workout.

 

 

Order out of Chaos---Learning to Embrace Uncertainty (Part 1)

 

 

 

 

The words "order" and "chaos" are particularly value laden. We tend to embrace order and avoid chaos at all costs. I’ve come to wonder why that is so. And more to the point, what do we mean by order or chaos? Let’s start by examining what these terms suggest.

The notion of order is equivalent to a sense of predictability. Predictability